Another hurdle in the ivf journey

[TeacherD]

After much deliberation and finally deciding to trust my gut, my partner and I decided to go with a modified natural cycle for our FET. Our consultant was trying to persuade us to go with the medicated cycle as its easier for them to control but we reminded him that he has said I am healthy and because its male factor infertility, the odds should be similar.I contacted my clinic today to say my period arrived just to receive a call to say that the consultant is taking leave around the time our transfer would be due (19 days time). The told us to contact them next month but called back a few minutes after saying there was actually some concern that a transfer at that time could also be impacted by annual leave again so asked if we'd reconsider a medicated cycle as it could prolong my chances for 2 more months.

I'm so emotional and frustrated. My partner is agitated that I agonised over the decision to trust my body for so long just for it to be whipped away but like me, he can't help but feel like we're being manipulated into doing it our consultants way now.

Am I right in thinking that, because my cycle is a 31 day cycle with ovulation on day 18/19, I shouldn't be having my frozen transfer on day 19 anyway? I have been prescribed progynova but as I understand its just for lining support and not for timing ovulation so they can't be certain with their time frames!

Apologies for the lengthy message, I'd appreciate some insights or words of wisdom if anyone has any to give!

[M_fox]

Hello.. for me prognova was only for lining support as anyone new to ivf is an unknown as I was told. Like you they wanted to do medicated to support a controlled cycle. The transfer was to be fresh and this was the best way. They monitored me the first month to see if it had the right effect. I started Buserelin on day 18 and it’s this that was to stop me ovulating . As it turned out it didn’t and I ovulated partway through the process (day 55ish). Doc was surprised but this made us then go for frozen transfer with a semi natural cycle as he realised my cycle was strong enough ( so only Cyclogest for the natural which on the first cycle I started taking about day 15).

I’d say not to worry which is best, both have benefits and maybe medicated is ok for the first round but I will say my doctor was on holiday for my next transfer and his colleague performed it. Sounds like your clinic is small? Maybe ask them what reassurances they have if someone’s sick on your day of transfer. Good luck x

[TeacherD in reply to M_fox]

Thank you for your response. I found all the medication so tough for both egg collections that we've had. Because our fresh transfer resulted in an early loss the consultant is confident that I could get pregnant. I know its probably silly but I had my heart set on less medication and I think it would suit my body and my mental health so much more. My clinic is small - 4 nurses, 2 receptionists and 1 consultant. I'm really frustrated that my consultant didn't warn me about this during our meeting with him in January. He never mentioned his leave coming up. He also never said anything like that could affect our cycle. I can't shake the feeling it's all orchestrated to suit his preference rather than our own...silly I know but if you knew our consultant, I think you'd know what I mean 🙈

[Bimsie1310]

Hi, I've had 5 transfers, a mix of medicated and natural and always preferred natural as less drugs and my body responded better. If you want natural, you should be allowed it. I don't understand why your consultant being away affects dates? My consultant never did my transfer, it was always otter doctors and nurses. So is your consultant the only one who can do transfers?

[ChocoMuffin in reply to Bimsie1310]

I agree with Bimsie1310 here. You should have the option to choose whatever FET protocol you want (unless there is medical reasons to have one over the other), and your consultant’s annual leave should be irrelevant as any other consultant should be able to perform an FET.

The other issue is whether your clinic performs FETs on weekends, including Sundays, as some don’t, which could impact in the case of a natural modified FET.

Hope you get a chance to discuss your concerns with your consultant!

[TeacherD in reply to ChocoMuffin]

I agree with you both. We are with a small clinic in Belfast. Unfortunately, there is only 1 consultant, so we are at his mercy. After a chat with one of our favourite nurses, we've decided to go with the medicated cycle. Im choosing to go with the flow now...although the flow of tears have been heavy in making this decision. I just don't want to waste the months that may pass in waiting for our modified natural cycle to take place. If this leads to us holding our baby in our arms in 10 months time, it'll be the best change of plans ever. If not, at least I will know I did something other than waiting! Whatever happens, I think we need to look into different clinics in Ireland. It has been a long day but I am on my way home with my synarel l beside me.

Send all positive vibes this way please...I'm struggling to keep that positivity today! Thank you both for your responses!

[GranolaHippo]

I don't know if this is helpful but, as your embryos are frozen, whether you have them transferred now or in 3 months time won't impact their ability to become an ongoing pregnancy.

I totally understand the desire to have an ongoing pregnancy yesterday and also to have some miniscule amount of control/things happening when you thought they would be. And I don't think that should be minimised -it's so very important. But just wanted to say the above in case it helps give a bit of a step back.

If you do stay with medicated, I wanted to encourage you that I actually found mine way less stressful than my natural transfer and although, like you, I reacted to the stims drugs, I found the transfer ones an absolute breeze (in comparison).

For me, I liked not having to worry about when I was ovulating (and my clinic not moving my transfer forward when I ovulated 6hrs earlier than they assumed). It was nice not to feel like my body might do something 'wrong', as by this point, my trust in my body is not very high at all!

I found the nose spray a bit tickly and it dried my mouth a bit -just sleep with a nice big glass of water on hand! I also found my sleep to be a little impacted by the Progynova, but just told myself it would be over soon and that lots of people have second (third, fourth...) children when they're only sleeping lightly/not as much as usual.

Interestingly, someone on here a couple of weeks ago shared that after a horrific time with Progynova and their sleep, they tried the patches and found they had no side effects at all. So might be worth asking your clinic about that, and whether you could change if you do have side effects. It might help with feeling less backed into a corner.

Either way, everyone here will be routing for you, whether now or in a few months' time, and you can't really put a price on that. xx