Hi guys I am 36 female and my husband is same age as me. We are unexplained infertility. Been trying for almost 6 years. Never been pregnant. I had 4 failed ivf transfers. Still have 6 frozen embryos all great quality but not pgta tested. The last 4th failed frozen transfer just hit me really hard and I kind of lost faith it will ever works. Thinking about the surrogacy at ukraine but will cost about 50k which if course we don't have money for but could take out loan. I just don't know if I should keep going doing another ivf so I have more embryos as the time is running out and I have a low amh already. Should I keep doing transfers or should I not waste any more time and money and go straight to surrogacy. Or should I just gave up and buy a dog and forget the whole ivf nightmare which just seems to consume my life. Sorry about the negative post but feeling really tired and emotionally drained 😪
Don't know what to do next please help - Fertility Network UK
Don't know what to do next please help
Hi lovely,
So sorry you're in this situation - its such a rough ride.
Have you had any other testing done? ERA / ALICE / EMMA or NK cells? Have you had a hysteroscopy to check your uterine cavity? There are a lot of things you can try before heading to the Ukraine and spending £50k.
Have you spoken to your consultant - what do they suggest? I'm amazed that they aren't giving you any further testing options.
The fact that you have 6 embryos is great - I definitely wouldn't give up yet. We had 5 failed transfers (all negative tests) before we had success and that was down to steroids - I had high natural killer cells which were fighting off the embryos each time. The steroids lowered my immune system and allowed the embryo to implant.
We also had a high number of embryos so we opted for PGT-A testing, as I didn't want to keep transferring embryos that didn't stand a chance.
I definitely think it's worth some other investigations.
xx
Hello lovely thank you so much for your reply. I have done nk cells test all fine I have done hysterectopy again no problems. We have also done genetic testing as a couple to see if we are compatible and that was fine too. I haven't done the Emma era alice test and want to push for that now but if that comes back all fine I am just getting really frustrated with the whole implantation failing. When they were doing the nk test I was actually hoping for positive results as it would give me answer for all the years of failing. Maybe I am just stressed and it comes down to that's but I cannot not stress if you know what I mean.
It's impossible not to stress about it lovely - it's just so frustrating.
The ERA test also showed for me that my window of implantation was out by 24 hours, so it might be something to think about checking. If you've done all the other stuff then maybe PGT-A is your next step. We had 9 embryos and 6 came back normal - so there is definitely a chance that this could be the issue.
You can also go to Recurrent Implantation Specialists who will look in to things a bit more for you.
One thing that I did too was to do a course of antibiotics before my last transfer - I did 7 days from day 1 of my period, then did another 7 days of vaginal probiotics. I think this helped too and I've heard from others that it have been helpful.
xx
That is a good tip about recurrent implantation failure specialist I will look into it for sure thank you 😊
I would recommend Dr Brosens, working out of Coventry hospital, with Warwick University, there is a recurrent implantation clinic run with the charity Tommy's, I self-referred there about 3.5 years ago. After seeing them I was successful on my 6th transfer (8th embryo). It can still happen after a lot of failure. Just my thoughts but in your situation I would do another IVF round now, to bank more good embryos, consider PGTA testing them (although I didn't actually do that myself), and then do all remaining possible tests in relation to implantation failure, including the ERA etc, before doing more FETs. Wishing you all the absolute best of luck on this terribly difficult infertility journey.
Stories like these give me so much hope wow 8th embryo transfer it takes so much to keep going but you haven't given up and I needed ti hear this. I was also thinking of doing another round to have more embryos thank you for recommending that. Even though my husband is more on using the ones we have and if they don't work then do the ivf. Which I think logically I get that but I feel like I am running out of time especially given the low amh and the panic sets in and just want to do another egg collection. Thank you for your recommendation woth the clinic too😊
Hello
I don't have any advice to add here, but I just wanted to give you a big hug. Reading your message reminds me of how I have felt off and on through this journey (3 rounds, only 2 embryos, both failed. About to start the 4th round). It's heart breaking, all consuming and pushes you to the max.
It's so hard to remain positive and keep going, but it's important to let out all of these emotions. Hopefully you will come through the other side fighting once again. I wouldn't give up on those embryos in the freezer. Sending loads of love x
If you want to speak to someone I am always here good luck on starting another round I will keep everything crossed. It is so hard to stay positive and if you would know me I am one of the most positive people but this just really gets me down and I feel emotionally tired.
But these forums are so helpful. I don't ever wish for anyone to go through infertility but seeing that I am not alone is somehow helping me to cope and not give up like so many women here. You guys give me so much strength so thank you 🥰 and thank you for replying it means a lot to me
hello there, I know how you feel... i am same age as you, 2 failed transfers but 4 embryos left of medium to low quality....
apologies if you've done this already but have you asked for consultation from other doctors and clinics? 6 embryos are so many, I really believe you will make it! just stay strong and wait for your luck to change💪💪💪
Even 4 embryos is still so many and look I had perfect 5aa transfers amd they didn't work you see so many lower qualities that do work so don't even think that they are not great quality. To me it's either good quality to freeze or not. I have switched the clinic already and we have done many tests before the actual embryos transfers but still haven't found anything 😔 just feeling there must be a reason why it's not worked
Please don’t panic! You’ve got 6 remaining embryos which is fantastic! Like it has already been suggested by others, I would consider PGT testing these so you only transfer those that are euploid ☺️
Wishing you all the best with whatever you decide to do!
I think everyone can see that I am panicking 😁 my clinic said they can't test them now so I didn't realise you can test them once you froze them? I will ask again why not if that's possible
Thank you for your kind words I wish you all the best too ❤️
You absolutely can test them once frozen. Ours were all frozen, thawed, biopsied and refrozen x
Sorry to hear you’re feeling like this, I know the feeling so well. I was in the same position not so long ago. I’ve had 5 back to back no implantation and 2 chemicals. The 8th transfer stuck currently 16 weeks. No further test was done at all. Just kept going by adding steroids (although I’ve had a chemical without the steroids). Wishing you the best, I know it can be really exhausting. It’s great you have 6 embryos. Try to stay strong xxx
I sometimes don't know where you get the strength to keep going. I am on my 4th and feeling exhausted and you have done 8th transfers and it finally worked. Just can't give up too early
Thank you for sharing and encouraging 😊 I can do this. I am very happy that it finally worked for you anyone going through this ivf hell deserve a happy ending.
I know how you feel. After my 7th failed transfer I felt like there was no hope for me
I had one embryo left to try.
I didn’t do any further testing but I did add in oral probiotics specific for the womb as I read somewhere it increases implantation significantly.
It worked and I was 44 at the time with an egg taken out at 43.5
Please don’t lose hope. You have six embryos left and there are some further tests you could have done that might help before you go and spend 50k on a surrogate.
It’s a tough journey but it will all be worth it 💫
congratulations! May I ask what kind of probiotics these were and if I can find them online? Thank you so much!
I used a brand called black mores for women. I’m in Australia so I’m not sure you have the same there
I know optibac for women is exactly the same
I took them for 3 months before the transfer
Best of luck 🩷
oh nice! I bought optibac yesterday 
I thought a few weeks would be enough though, good that you told me about the 3 months… thanks again, wishing you the best <3
A few weeks might be enough 👍
I just took a little break so just kept taking them longer as they are affordable
Already googling probiotics and infertility 😁 can I ask which ones have you used? I have tried some before but maybe not the right ones. Someone else mentioned that 8th transfer worked so maybe I am just half way and just need to keep going😊 thank you so much you have no idea how much your reply helps me
I used specifically one called Blackmores Women’s Flora Balance but I know the optibac for women is exactly the same 😀
Sorry to read of your distress. It’s a tough journey and I understand. Everyone has said helpful points to you. Definitely push for Emma and Alice! And also check for EndometrITIS where they take a biopsy.
We are now having to go for the donor route but via Spain. It is WAY cheaper than £50K - so do look at clinics there, they are really ahead of their came too on genetic testing. So even if you simply had some investigation with them.
They found out I have a gene called Kir AA which means I basically reject my embryos sadly and more at risk of pre eclampsia using my own eggs (it’s pretty complex!) … worth testing!! But my point is no consult. in London ever tested me for this despite having IVF.
Good luck happy to share name of my clinic in Spain if you PM me x
Hi Sarslouise,
Thanks for sharing. Would you mind DM me the name of the clinic in Spain please? After 4 failed attempts in the UK we are now looking at going to Spain or Greece.
Thank you and all the best x
hi there - iVF is very stressful, but 4 failed transfers with non tested embryos does not sound crazy or desperate at all. If I were you, I would go for another round of egg retrieval to make sure you have everything you need in the bank and then I would send all these guys to PGD testing in order to make sure to no longer transfer non viable embryos. You will increase your chances of positive transfers dramatically. Stay calm, 4 transfers is not that many.
Hi I felt like it was a lot of transfers already but so many women have done so much more so thank you for all the advice. I will do another egg retrieval for sure this year. I appreciate your reply and your time to read through my rant thank you 🥰
It took me 7 transfers with 10 untested embryos to get my BFP with unexplained RIF. So I’d say keep going and transfer the embryos you have. I used double donor but only as I’m older and single.
Thank you so much I need to keep going. Just feels like its never going to happen but hearing you had 10 untested and finally worked...it's a miracle congratulations 😊
I think I found transfer 4 the hardest. I started at that point to think it was never going to work. What worked for me was oral probiotics, prednisolone and clexane and a modified natural transfer.
Hi, I was in a similar position last year, 4 failed transfers (all high quality but not tested) and the 4th one nearly made me stop. I was out of embryos at this point so it's amazing you still have 6. I then changed clinic and started again and got 6 more embryos, did PGTA on these and 4 were normal so didn't really explain my recurrent failure. I asked for extra tests but my clinic didn't recommend them so I tried again expecting it to fail and it finally worked and I'm currently 10 weeks! All I changed before transfer was taking probiotics so not sure if it was that or my new clinic was just better but the PGTA was very reassuring so I would consider that before surrogacy.
I know the 4th hit me.so hard too I just feel like I lost hope and don't know how to stay positive. But hearing all these stories is how I need to stay positive. Like yours massive congratulations. I need to keep going and maybe change the clinic. Which probiotics did you take please? I should have done the pgta I wanted to but then I changed my mind.
I felt like that after my 4th and took 4 months off all fertility stuff to recover. Probiotics wise, I just got some off Amazon called free soul - intimate flora for women. No idea how they compare to others but they were cheap and had good reviews so I just tried them. The main thing Alice and Emma test for is your bacteria levels so I did an at home microbiome test with DAYE which showed I was slightly low on good bacteria so I tried these. Seemed easier and cheaper than doing the tests. No idea if this made the difference. Good luck!
if I had 6 quality embryos frozen there is no way in the world I would even be considering surrogacy 🤗 you have lots and lots of hope! The additional testing the other ladies have mentioned is defo a great next step but sometimes you do just have to keep going to find that embryo! There are many many many steps before surrogacy you are a million miles away from even considering that lovely 🥰 but I know how it feels after a failed transfer so I can see why you feel so deflated. For my son it took is 6xIUIs and then 4 embryos on our first round of IVF before I got pregnant. For my current pregnancy (now 32 weeks) it took 5 egg collections and at least 10 transfers of ~15 embryos (I didn’t PGTA) before we got one that finally stuck so please please don’t give up hope! Sending you love and positivity 💜
I think I paniced that it's never going to work. In my head it's not just 4 transfers but it's also 6 years of nothing. Every month that period comes and it's 6 years of trying naturally. So when this 4th transfer did not work I thought to myself I need to change something and surrogacy came to mind. I just don't want to waste another 2 years of egg retrievals and failed transfers and hoping I would have just gone through surrogacy whilst still having embryos to transfers. What if my future egg retrieval are not successful woth low amh and I will waste good embryos on me now and it will not work and should have just gone to surrogacy. It's just the fear in me I know just don't know what the right next step is. 😞
I can completely understand but you are defo still young and the hard part of making embryos is done for you so you are a massive step forward from trying naturally with so much hope! Defo checking further into your embryos with testing (even surrogacy wouldn’t work if it’s an embryo issue so whilst i didn’t test I think if my mind were thinking of that rather than donor eggs I would defo try that first) and also have a check of your environment for implantation with the other tests mentioned would be other positive steps you can take. Have they also checked all your tubes etc? I would also echo the mention of probiotics I took oral and vaginal before the last few transfers and I dont know if they made the difference or not but absolutely no harm in them so defo worth a try 🤗 xx
Hey xxx
Your situation is pretty similar to ours although we’ve had implantations just no live birth yet.
I personally wouldn’t jump into surrogacy yet especially because your embryos are not pgta tested. We’ve had AB and BB blasts fail. Grading is irrelevant.. just because it’s an AA doesn’t mean it’s genetically “normal”
Have you had your NK cells tested?? Hysteroscopy? My consultant doesn’t believe in ERA.. he says it’s outdated and the implantation window changes every month. But you could ask about this anyway.
Maybe it’s worth paying to see an immunologist?
Some clinics will pgta test your current frozen embryos. I personally wouldn’t as it puts the embryo under a lot of stress but you could ask. There’s a lot to think of before you start rushing to the Ukraine and spending £50k especially when you don’t even know the genetic make up of any of your embryos x
What to do next..
3rd FET failed
***Sensitive post. Surrogate pregnant. 
Newbie... Endo, high NK cells, IVF, chemical pregnancies...
