Time to stop?

[Snoopy982]

It’s hard to reconcile that this may be the end. The facts, I’m 42 with low amh (3.0 when tested over a year ago). Partner had cancer so sperm was frozen 20+ years ago meaning fertility help was our only route. Tried 3x IUI and 2x IVF. Due to age this is all self funded. First round I got only 1 egg which fertilized and made it to a decent blastocyst. And second round got 2 eggs, one giving us a day 5 morula.

Both times were not successful. In hindsight perhaps I should have done more research as information supplied at the time was minimal. I took a standard multi vitamin as suggested and that was it apart from managing to keep stress low. Doing ‘post failure’ reading of all other ‘stuff’ I could have tried like other vitamins, supplements etc, I’m not sure if any of these could have helped or if the margins are so small that it all comes down to luck.

My partner is done and we agreed to stop at 2 rounds due to finances and the fact odds are massively against us. The consultant pretty much said our likelihood of an another round ending with a negative is very high. But the ‘what if’ question remains. Has anyone else experienced similar? Wondered if we get a second opinion before we stop?

[Endofitall]

I’m sorry you’re facing this. Has your partner’s treatment meant only the use of the frozen sperm is possible now? It doesn’t seem very many goes if all you’ve ever been able to have is 3xIUI and 2xIVF and not even the chance to try naturally in between - the chances of finding that euploid egg is less as we get older so your body hasn’t had the chance. It sounds to me like you’re not ready to give up on the hopes of being a biological mum. I think a second opinion is perfectly reasonable and considering maybe further IUI packages to keep costs down? I have low AMH from the age of 34 when first tested and I’ve only had a low number eggs in our IVF rounds. That doesn’t stop people conceiving naturally though. IVF is more limited by how many eggs you can churn out but it really only takes one. If finances are very limiting then doing something more akin to natural conception and just encouraging your body to make one or two eggs per month is probably going to be more fruitful. I really hope you get some answers and hope.

[WanderingWonder]

hey, so sorry you are going through this and not being on the same page as your partner must be making it even harder to figure out how you feel.

This may be a major overstep, but this is a safe space…have you considered trying with donor sperm?

Life is full of regrets, if you feel you can make your peace with stopping now, thats completely fine, but if you feel you’ll forever wonder and agonise over not trying this or that, it might be worth asking some more questions, getting a second opinion, figuring out how, if you do decide on going for another round, you mighr maximise your chances. Whether that’s boosting your natural cycle with supplements and diet and trying donor sperm, different or higher dose stims or whatever it might look like for you xxx

[Rcs11]

hey, sounds like a really hard place to be, especially if your partner is ‘done’. If you go for the second opinion it may be worth exploring clinics abroad, cheaper & their stats look good.

I agree with others to consider (if it’s ok to say so) donor aspects of your conception to boost chances. Have you listened to any fertility podcasts- these things come up all the time so may be worth a listen.

I also worked with a nutritionist who did loads for me with diet, supplements & lifestyle to help boost my fertility. May be something to consider if you’re not ‘done done’.

Sending love & peace xx

[BM000]

I'm sorry your going through this. We did 5 rounds of egg collection without success and then moved on to donor eggs. It was a hard decision because 'the next round could be the one' but realistically I knew it was unlikely to happen for us. My husband took a while to come round to the idea but he's ok with it now

Sadly IVF is a numbers game and over 40 only about 1 in 4 blastocysts are going to be genetically normal so you potentially have to do a lot of cycles to find one that works. With an AMH that low its also likely you would have cycles where you have nothing to transfer as the drop off from egg collection to blast is so high. Are donor eggs an option for you? I'm not sure if you have sperm frozen still that you could use.