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New to ivf edinburgh + work related advice please!

WishingandHoping profile image
8 Replies

Hi everyone

Im new here and looking for some advice. Im 30 and ttc for 4 years there is nothing wrong with my other half but i've got stage IV endo and missing a tube with the other one probably given up the ghost by now! I just moved and got started with getting referred for ivf to discover (luckily) there is little or no wait. I wasnt expecting it to be so fast and im unsure of the process especially how to approach the subject with work. Would I have to tell them after transfer as technically I would be pregnant? I work with chemicals but ive only been in the job 3months... Im starting my cycle or should be in feb 2016. Any advice and anyone else I can share my cycle experience with would be amazing i dont feel like I can talk to people at work and I don't have any friends up where I live yet

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Tlove profile image
Tlove

Hi, do you have an occupational health nurse at work who you can talk to? Or health and safety? They should be able to do a risk assessment on your work, particularly if you work with chemicals. If I were you I'd go to them sooner in your cycle (around et) rather than later as the first trimester is so critical for the development of a baby. I have just been for a risk assessment myself at work and was told to avoid chemicals, working at height and eventually not to work in noisy environments. Even if you could check the msds for the chemicals in advance, you would be somewhat prepared. Occ health will do all this in confidence anyway. You can wait until Feb to tell them. By then you will probably know your colleagues a little better anyway. I was really open with my manager about it all and I found that this helped a lot as he has been very supportive. Perhaps you could also take some time off for the ec and et?

Lynnr54 profile image
Lynnr54

I found it helped being up front with my manager as it was easier to manage scans and you won't know until a couple of days in advance when EC will be (you should have an idea of the week once you start treatment). You will need to take the day off for EC and some ladies find they aren't up to going back to work for a couple of days after. I also booked the 2 weeks off after ET to give my little embryo the best chance of implantation (my job can be stressful at times). My treatment ended up being delayed by a week so I had to move my 2 week hol at the last minute. Work were great about it but I had been honest with them. I appreciate that being in a new job it could be more difficult for you as you won't know what your colleagues are like yet so maybe leave it until nearer the time and then decide. I do agree with Tlove that you should speak to occ health. Not sure what impact working with chemicals could have and at what stage of treatment you need to avoid it. Maybe ask your consultant at your next appointment? Good luck with the journey. The ladies on this forum are always happy to answer questions no matter how silly they seem and to share our own experiences. We've all been at the start of the journey at some point and know how confusing and scary it can be x

Tlove profile image
Tlove

Hi, just wanted to add that I agree with Lynn about taking time off. You'll be in and out for scans prior to ec and will definitely need ec and next day off at a minimum. I was lucky my ec was on the Friday of a bank holiday so didn't need to take time off. I felt well again after 3 days but I definitely needed the 3 days. You will also need a driver on ec day as you will be sedated. I was really out of it all day afterwards!

But even after ec, you won't know if the et will be at 3 days or 5 days until the clinic rings you with the results at 3 days. So you will need to be flexible between ec and et. I ended up taking 2 days off after et and then had a weekend, so 4 days off. For me, it was enough as I was glad to get back into a routine again. They say you can go about your normal activity after et, so it's personal choice but as Lynn says, you want to feel you have given yourself the best chance possible. Work has to take a back seat during this time. I suppose once you've got through your probationary period, you'll feel more at ease talking to your manager about it but it is a relief to tell someone at work because you will need to go to a lot of scans.

Also, you probably won't want to talk to too many people (be it friends or even family) about the IVF initially anyway. People don't get it, they don't understand what is involved. Hey, I didn't have a clue until the reality hit with the injections! I told a handful of people that I knew would be supportive but I was surprised that my own mum seemed more interested in her new iPhone than how my IVF was going! They just don't know what to say and they're not sure how much they should be asking or how often, I think. Choose wisely who you decide to tell.

WishingandHoping profile image
WishingandHoping

Thanks so much! Its just alot to consider and i was expecting a year wait but it's been alot quicker. My probabtion is 9 months so ill be doing all this during that time. Ive got flexi working hours so hopefully i can work around it. As to speaking with occ health i can do and there are other pregnant ladies around the buildimg so i guess they have stuff in place. My manager is really lovely and is really keen on staff having a work life balance so maybe i can wait a little and just speak to hkm about it. If im being a human pin cushion and going through all the steps i want to make sure i do it properly!

Hello there, this all sounds so postive. I am starting my ivf treatment on my next cycle. Saw my consultant on the 24th and I was already on my period. Been given all my injections to start on day 2 of my next cycle. Need all the luck in this world.

Parentsofangels profile image
Parentsofangels

Hi.

I would ask your clinic about the chemicals, I'm a hairdresser and beauty therapist, and their immediate answer was right, well you need to avoid colouring of all types immediately! But they weren't fussed with the nails I do at all which surprised me. If you're able to tell them about the job and the chemicals used they should be able to advise you. I'd certainly take their advice over occ health if I'm being completely honest. Not one person in my work place had been advised to avoid colour at all and they all have several children, even my midwife said it's fine as long as you're not colouring your own hair, my consultant disagreed.

Work wise, well that's individual choice, I was upfront with my boss but no one else knew, my boss was and still knowing treatment is needed in Jan, being amazing about it. Legally, you weren't trying or pregnant at the time of taking the job so there is no issue there, so don't worry ourself about that. If you have occ health, I'm assuming it's a relatively large company, meaning they'll have plenty of experience of dealing with pregnant women. I basically tried to live as if I was pregnant, so no caffeine, no heavy lifting, no crazy hours etc etc. The lifting issue at work, we came up with a "bad back" episode. My colleagues knew I'd suffered a bad back yrs ago so wasn't a hard lie.

Huge huge good luck for Feb, take care xxx

Tlove profile image
Tlove in reply to Parentsofangels

The hair colouring is something I was wondering about. I have terrible grey roots that are starting to appear and I don't know if it's safe for me to get it coloured or not! My own hairdresser would say it's fine but I don't know now after reading your post. Are any of the hair dyes safe?

Parentsofangels profile image
Parentsofangels in reply to Tlove

Being a hairdresser the industry was always led to believe it's fine and that you'd need to bathe in the stuff to make a difference, but honest to god, both specialists and two midwives said big fat no til given birth. I've not coloured my hair since star of the year, longest time in well over a decade lol. I know it's frustrating and g billion women will tell you "well I did and my kids were fine" but my response to those people is lots of our parents no doubt smoked during pregnancy, doesn't mean we would even dream of it now we know the risks. To be honest the drugs and hormones can change your hair and give you differing results anyway lol. My understanding is that if you're not using it during or after treatment/pregnancy it's ok but please check with your clinic!

Fyi coloured dry shampoo is a life saver! Lol xx

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