BF pregnancy announcement

[Catlover89]

Hi all

hope you are all doing ok.

I am mainly here to just let out some emotion that I am desperately trying to hold in, knowing full well that it isn’t good for me to do that, but I feel terrible for feeling the way I do.

This is really the only place I can go where I know others are likely to just get it, and know how it feels.

Iv just found out my best friend is expecting her 3rd child and it was a complete surprise, to her and also me. I just wasn’t expecting it at all, and I’m currently in the middle of having my 2nd FET so I was feeling quite hopeful this time around trying to say positive in my own little bubble, and I just feel like it’s hit me like a ton of bricks.

I feel awful for feeling this way when she’s my best friend, and of course I congratulated her and tried not to show any other emotion I was feeling at the time. It truly is a blessing that she’s having another child and it is amazing. It’s just that same continuous feeling of frustration for how easy it is for some yet so bloody difficult for others, and that’s really hard to get your head around when in the midst of the struggle, and having been trying for 3yrs at this point, and i know for some it’s been much much longer, it’s just so so hard.

I can imagine she might have found it difficult telling me, as literally a couple of weeks ago I told her my first FET failed. I tried my best to show happiness for her, and I really hope she didn’t see any glimpse of sadness or anything else from my face. Now I’m feeling anxious about it and telling myself I’m a bad friend for not maybe showing more happiness and hoping she’s not disappointed I wasn’t jumping for joy (she wasn’t very enthusiastic to be fair as she’s feeling rough as hell) I’m sure these feelings will pass at some point, I just needed to vent I think and I need a good cry.

Sending everyone some love and a hug for anyone who needs it today xxx

[Slm123-]

I just wanted to say, your feelings are totally valid and it’s completely understandable that you feel this way. Over the years iv had many friends who have announced their pregnancies and had to put on a brave face and fight back the tears. Most recently I went to a friends baby shower who had no idea what I was going through. The whole time we spent talking about pregnancies, babies and all the usual stuff women talk about at babyshowers. I particularly found it hard watching her open up all the beautiful baby gifts. It broke me but I managed to hold it together for the whole time I was there but when I got home I sobbed for hours and felt so upset. Not because she was having a baby but because I so desperately wanted to be in her position and I realised that that’s ok. I decided not to tell her about our failed ivf but I know that If i did, she’d understand my feelings. I think any true friends would so please don’t feel like a bad friend. This journey is extremely tough and I think you should be a little kinder to yourself. You’re not alone in feeling like this. I really hope that your time will come where you get to make tje announcement too. Big hugs xxx

[Catlover89 in reply to Slm123-]

Thank you so much for your reply, I really needed to hear that today xx

I am so sorry to hear that it’s been difficult for you too. That must have been so hard, Putting on a happy face for someone else and suppressing your own feelings is really not easy. That is exactly it, it’s that wanting so badly for so long to be in that same situation and worrying that it’s never going to happen, yet for others it happens without any planning or trying at all. I just need to sit with it for a while and try not to feel guilty about any of it.

It’s so easy to feel isolated going through something like this, this forum and your reply has helped me more than words can say. Thanks again, so much and hope you are doing ok also xx

[Lbb24]

I think everyone has been here . . . I had a colleague at work who announced she was pregnant with her 3rd after literally just coming back from mat leave it was a massive shock and then when she told me that the condom had split and she had even gone to the GP to get plan B i was like and she still ended up pregnant after that!! Yet here we are! This is the thing that always bothers me . . . We're all trying soooo hard but nothing happens

[Catlover89 in reply to Lbb24]

wow…that must have been difficult to listen to. I feel you there! Thank so much for reply x

[Doodlebug23]

Totally 💯 valid how you feel and myself and lots of others on here totally can empathise. I only really had 1 friend who could anywhere near understand how I felt. But we all on this wonderful forum get you.

I am now on the other side of it with 2 at a class I go to on the flip side. 1 still struggling to conceive and another dealing with a loss. So I have felt it from both angles. And I can tell you where you are is much worse, so do not feel guilty for how you feel. Tell us all in here cause we got your back 💯💖

[Catlover89 in reply to Doodlebug23]

That’s amazing that you are now on the other side! Congratulations to you ❤️ thank you so much for reply it was so lovely xx

[Cep92]

My best friend is also pregnant, she found out after my 2nd failed cycle. I never felt so sad but it is starting to get better now. It's normal to feel like this, I felt guilty for awhile. Look after yourself, you are not alone x

[Blahblahblahxxx]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! It's such a conflicting feeling and your feelings are 100% valid and understandable. Infertility is so cruel and it takes so much from us! I remember the feeling well, my best friend fell pregnant within months of starting trying, whilst I was 3 years deep into my infertility journey. When she told me we both burst into tears and the first thing she said to me was 'im so sorry, this should be you!' and those words still haunt me to this day. It should have been one of the happiest days of her life but MY infertility took that away from both of us. It robs you off all those precious moments.

I'm sure she understands how you are feeling but maybe just sit down and have that open conversation with her. It might help with the guilt.

Sending love and heeps of luck for your FET. Hopefully this will be a blessing and a chance for you to be pregnant together 🤞🏼💕

[Catlover89 in reply to Blahblahblahxxx]

Thanks so much for your reply ❤️ I guess I was just hoping (selfishly I know) that it would be me next making that announcement but I’m sure my time will come. I did also think more recently that if it does happen for me soon, it will be lovely to share that experience with her thanks again for sharing your experience it means a lot xx