Need Hugs!
My second fet on friday - I just feel numb , not excited , scared about having to face a negative outcome. I just dont feel like its going to workđ . This whole process has been so horrible .
I can only expect the worst always . Anyone else feel like this .. i guess its me preparing for thr worst like always in this process and guarding my heart when it doesnt work.
For context 27 , pcos , one loss and one failed fet . Second ivf first fet with these embryos
Hey,
I know it's easier said than done, but stress and worry really will not help. The body knows when you are feeling this. It's not good.
The start of this year i was put on Clomid for 3 months, and the anxiety and stress I had each month really got me down, seeing my period arrive. So I understand when you go through crap, it gives you a negative outlook when it comes to doing it again.
I have just had my first round of IVF (test day is this Monday) - and I have surprised myself at how laid back and chilled I've been. I can't even explain how, it's just come naturally. I read the book BIG FAT NEGATIVE and I feel this really helped me, along with taking time out for yourself, like enjoy a soak in the bath, treat yourself to some new clothes, eat out with friends, just keep busy, but doing stuff you enjoy. Instead of saying 'its not going to happen' say to yourself 'it will happen' 'its going to happen' ! The little dream you have in your head about becoming a mum, IS GOING TO HAPPEN! It might not of happened yet, but you have to keep on trying, what have you got to lose?
All of these obstacles you have gone through, are making you stronger for the day it finally happens! Don't ask me why, but for some people it happens naturally, first time, but for others like us, we just have to put a bit more effort in.....but will be worth it in the end! Keeping everything crossed for you xxx
Thankyou , you are right it can actually also work , have to train my mind to think that it could also turn out for the better x goodluck to you too!
I know how you feel đ Focus on your age, youâre 27 - you have lots and lots of time for this to work and it will work, one way or another, thatâs my philosophy. Iâm 43 and have had a difficult few years full of loss and failed transfers but Iâm still going and have faith that Iâm gonna be a mama and Iâm sure you will too xxx
We will make it one day or anotherâ¤ď¸ Thankyou
Wishing you all the luck in the world for Friday. I can relate to how you feel, I had 6 transfers (only one was a BFP which ended in a miscarriage) so I pretty much entered each transfer thinking it wasnât going to work and had lost all hope. At 40 years old and on my 7th transfer I finally got my BFP and am now 21 weeks pregnant. I know itâs hard to think positive but youâve already shown such strength going through this, keep focussing on that strength and try to believe this can happen for you. All the best. X
So so happy for you! I got my happy end on my 5th transfer in my 40s.đđ
Thank you so much . And thatâs amazing news on your happy ending too. Xx
Thankyou â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
I felt exactly the same before my FET. Like, I even had a list in my phone of things to focus on after, plans I had and how to get past it when it didn't work. I was strategising. I kept calling it my 'test run' FET because I was so convinced it wasn't going to work.
I felt quite numb too - and definitely not excited. It just felt like a box-ticking exercise. But then I read a fab post on here about going into an FET and choosing not to be scared or worried, but choosing to be curious. Going into it thinking hey, this is going to be interesting etc. Curiosity is a much better mindset.
That helped me a lot, and while I still wasn't sure it was going to work, being more curious about the whole process helped rather than being totally despondent.
And it worked. Like, I would have placed money on it failing. A lot, ha. But it bloody worked!
Our fears and worries are not the truth. Guard your heart if you must, I get that (and do it myself) but also allow for some space to be massively surprised!
Thankyou! Its hard to accept but i guess it can go either way
hey, I know the feeling. Iâm in round 10 2WW at the mo (had our daughter round 4). Iâve been really neg the last few cycles & decided this one give it all Iâve got. Iâve read Marisa peer âtrying to get pregnant (& succeeding)â book - a hypnotherapy book which has SO helped me change outlook. Also paid for âmindful ivfâ app for daily mediations which Iâm really enjoying. I think frame of mind is half the battle.
Good luck xx
Thankyou â¤ď¸
This journey is so hard, trying to be positive is really difficult so just wanted to send you virtual hugs!
I had my FET yesterday with our last embryo, so am in the same boat of trying my best to be positive. My theory is I'm going to devastated if this doesn't work either way so why torture myself with negativity now when I don't know. I could be worrying about something that I never have to worry about because it will work!!
Ive been listening to the Magic Mindset: Fertilitea podcast and also recommended the mindful IVF app. I have also been having counselling and accupuncture, both really help.
Xx
Thankyou â¤ď¸
Totally know this feeling but there must be a glimmer of hope to even try. Hope you can focus on that. Youâve done everything you can do thatâs within your power. Your lining must be looking good and youâve got an embryo thatâs good enough to reach transfer stage - They are two big positives in your favour. The rest is just down to luck/ nature.
May try doing a couple of the things you wouldnât do when pregnant before your fet - lovely hot bubble bath etc.
I do think itâs good to have a positive mindset but you canât wish yourself pregnant (Iâm sure none of us would be here if you could!) so donât beat yourself up if youâre finding things hard. It IS hard. Big luck for Friday đ¤
Thankyouâ¤ď¸
Struggling after failed FET
FET cancelled due to follicles on ovary
Am I wrong to go to fet feeling this way?
FET transfer looming- feeling clueless 
