I am feeling really rough. A huge work thing happened the past few weeks and I've barely slept in a few weeks. Like, 2-3 hours per night for many nights. I just feel terrible.
Tomorrow is supposed to be the FET for our last embryo. My lining, when we checked last Monday, was already 9.3 or something. But I feel just the worst.
As people know, my husband is always terrible during periods of IVF stress and he has been awful the past few days, as usual.
Should I cancel tomorrow?
Isnt it only 2 weeks since your got a BFN from last transfer? I’m surprised you are allowed to transfer again so quickly - personally I would take a break and transfer on your next period x
Yes he wanted to do it right away, still in window after MC.
Hi Lux
As you already know the mental part of the tww is worse then the physical so if your going into it already feeling bad then it may not be best for your mental state. I dont think stress has as much impact on the outcome as some people say but it's more about how you feel in yourself.
The outcome is going to be what it is no matter what, it will either stick or it wont but you also have to look after yourself.
I am not sure if there is any reason you went straight into a round after your last, it has only been a couple of weeks even and its such a toll. Perhaps a break would do YOU good and the little embie will be fine there on ice for another month or two.
Thinking of you and wishing you the best
X
Ohhh nooo. The situation is not where you want to be before a transfer. I personally would wait until I was feeling better 👍 it could just be a wait of one month which isn’t a long time and it’s your last embryo.
I know people say it’s down to embryo whether it works or not but I believe being in a good physical, mental and emotional state is just as important.
All the best with whatever you decide to do 💕
I don’t think stress will be the determining factor for it’s success but if you go ahead with it and it isn’t successful will you wish you had waited being your last embryo?
For yourself too, as we know the 2ww is hard enough and I’m sorry the stress shows in your husband, but if you’re already feeling awful I wouldn’t want you to get worse over the next few weeks.
I’m having mine on my next cycle so should be in around 5 weeks the FET and I think it’s been nice to have a little downtime between the two.
Ultimately you have to do what feels right for you and there isn’t a right or wrong answer here lovely. If you’re not working today try to have as relaxed a day as you can!
Good luck either way x
Hi LuxFleur, I would carry on. I was so stressed out before my transfer that I thought I would ruin my chances but I ended up with a positive. I also felt so much better once they did the transfer. You can do this, just make sure you can rest after your transfer. Your lining is good so it would be a shame to stop now. Good luck in whatever you decide but try not to stress. Xx
Thank you. I think we're going to.
I'm sorry you are having a tough time. I think it would be a good idea to delay it a month and have a month off. You've had such an awful time with the loss and the BFN, it's no wonder you are feeling out of sorts. Maybe your body could do with a rest? I took a month off trying after my third pregnancy loss ( I know it's not quite the same) I was emotionally all over the place and my poor body needed a rest! I used the miscarriage appointment as a perfect reason to have a break! We were both exhausted and the break did us the world of good. When we tried again we were in a much happier mental state. If it didn't work ( personally I don't think stress would cause a cycle to fail) you would probably blame yourself and wonder what if..? Give yourself a break you deserve one. Ultimately the decision is yours and I wish you the very best with whatever you decide to do Xx p.s my hubby is also bad at dealing with stress you are definitely not alone! Xx
Only you know what is best for you and your body and everyone is so different I wouldn’t like to say either way. I just want to wish you the very best for this transfer and totally sympathize with how you are feeling. The whole IVF process was so stressful for me as my partner didn’t believe we needed it and truly believed it would just ‘happen’. This was after 4 years of nothing! Transfer day was particularly awful…him saying he was only doing it for me, it didn’t feel right and it’s not meant to be. They nearly didn’t transfer as my obs were so off as I was so upset and stressed. Also know the pain of insomnia very well and it adds to how awful you feel. For me it was situation and it passed.Only saying this to give you hope but I am so relieved to say I am now 26 weeks and after a couple of bumps along the way I am feeling hopeful. I truly wish you all the happiness you deserve, I will be rooting for you xxx
I think you will know what is best. To be honest, as much as we try not to be stressed there will always be some element of stress. Even if everything goes according to plan. I would go for it and then try to relax as much as possible for the few days after your transfer. Good luck x
I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make. xx
I don't know if this will help at all but during my recent cycle I suffered from extreme stress and insomnia. On top of that the day before my transfer I was told I was going to lose my job as it was and get massively reduced hours and responsibility (because I already had so much going with my ivf). The week following I somehow managed to take on my boss and get him to give my job back but because I have social anxiety- this was really really horrible. My colleagues where just trying to make me feel worse (they would love to get rid of me) and my own dad with whom we currently live, did everything to be as unsupportive as possible and to pick fights with me (he has mental health problems so he can't really help it.
It seemed impossible but I had a positive pregnancy test and even though with recurring miscarriages this means absolutely nothing (I honestly feel sick if anyone says congratulations) I do think it shows how resilient we really are. We have to be careful living in a culture where 'wellness' is commercialised and we are made to feel that being happy and stress free is a personal choice and responsibility. Sometimes there really isn't anything we can do and stress (as well as depression) is completely normal. We just get through it because we have to. I wish you all the best and really hope it will work out for you! Hang in there xxx
Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
FET transfer tomorrow 
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Sensitive - 7 Week Scan Tomorrow 
