Advice after failed FET please :(

[Impatientivfwarrior]

Hi all, A little background info first... so we started our ivf journey due to unexplained male factor infertility (my partner has a child from a previous relationship), we collected 15 eggs 11 fertilised, only 2 made is to 5 day blastocysts one 5bb and a 5bc which we were over the moon about, all of my tests were perfect and on my first lining check we were at 8.3mm, we still went with estrogen patches and tablets, 3 cyclogest pessaries a day, lubion injections each evening aswell as blood thinning injection each day due to increase risk of blood clots off patches and everything was going so well, my protocol was perfect and my actual transfer of our 5bb embaby was perfect, i felt great my consultant was positive and told me to inform him when i had a positive test....however i woke up day 9pt and i knew in the pit of my stomach it hadnt worked, so i tested and it was negative day 14 arrived official test day and it was negative I informed my doctor and basically he said sorry and to contact him when i feel upto it for a review. So now i dont know what to expect, ive never been told about what to expect if the transfer failed, whats normal and what isnt, my head is a mess as he was so positive that this would work, so now my heads a mess mentally and im struggling, one 5bc embryo left which i am beyond grateful to have, but the thought of going through this pain again at the minute is so overwhelming. Sorry for the long post but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[SCHNOW]

I am sorry for this but it is absolutely normal to have some failures. That’s why there are so many ivf warriors here. I had my son only on my 8th transfers, after 5 cycles. There are many parameters to consider and the pregnancy can be difficult like rocket science for some women. I would suggest to tidy up your mood, and read a bit more about the possibility factors to influence the ivf results and have a review with your consultation for the next step, such as PGS tested or more investigation on your husband. Good luck and be strong !

[Eloquentia]

I am really sorry your first transfer didn't work. IVF can be so soul crushing! After our failed first transfer, I had a great sense of loss and thought the following transfers would have very little chance to work given that the one with our top quality embie failed. I was wrong, thankfully and am blessed with a healthy baby girl from our second transfer. What worked for us in the difficult time was giving ourselves the time and space to grieve before embarking on the emotional rollercoaster again. We also booked an impromptu holiday abroad and ran away from it all for a week, recharging our batteries. In terms of the follow up appointment, ask what lessons have been learned from this transfer and how can your protocol be modified to improve your chances for the next one. Very best of luck! I hope you get your rainbow baby soon!

[Doodlebug23]

Unfortunately often there is no explanation for implantation failure when everything looks great. It took me 7 transfers of 10 embryos to get to where I am. Top grade embryos, perfect lining every time.

Hopefully you will have success soon.

[Twiglet2]

the first negative is quite a shock they don’t prepare you for it at all but it is very very VERY common for it not to work first time and in no way means next time won’t work 🤗 totally normal how you are feeling let yourself feel like this for a few days and then on to the next with hope and strength is all we can do ! Amazing you have one frozen as means you don’t need another egg collection for your next try 💜 xx

[Impatientivfwarrior]

Thankyou all so much for your replies it has really helped me, its true they dont prepare you for a failed FET or for what to expect soon after in terms of periods, cramps, mood changes, hormonal changes, the only information i was given was all to do with early prenancy and nothing to do with it not working, so ive just had to figure it out on my own, working full time to help fund the cycles, its just all been a bit too much and confusing especially as a first timer, i do feel alot more confident hearing your replies and knowing that how i am feeling is normal and valid, hopefully once AF makes and appearance and my hormones settle i will start to feel alot better, i think a couple of months break and we will try again. Thankyou all xx