To take a break or not…?

[Daisy-Delilah]

Hello!

Just after some advice/thoughts based on your experiences please…

In the last 16 months on our journey for a sibling, we’ve had…

1 FET BFP -ended in MMC, had 2 x medical management and resulted in surgical management

1 x natural BFP - turned out to be a chemical

1 x FET faint BFP - turned out to be a chemical

1 x FET BFN

Hysteroscopy awake, couldn’t se anything

1 x FET BFN

Hysteroscopy under GA, found significant scarring caused by D&C 😢

Another hysteroscopy awake to confirm scarring hadn’t returned

1 x double FET BFN

We are now preparing for our follow up consultation. Before this transfer the nurse said to me, that she thought I should take a break from it all for a couple of months because it had been non stop. I don’t feel like it has been as there so much waiting around between each activity. I’m not sure if she meant mentally or physically, as for me taking a break would be the worst thing mentally for me. I have discussed with with hubby and thought we could take a little holiday or something. But the thought of waiting till July really upsets me.

im really struggling with all the pregnancy announcements and newborns turning up and I don’t want to keep waiting!

Just wondered if anyone knew if there were proven clinical benefits to taking a break or if you’ve done it and wished you hadn’t or pleased you had.

Thank you xxx

[Xmishell37]

Hey, that's a rough road, sorry to hear 💔 I'm very much like you...the waiting drives me insane and I just want to get on with it, I haven't had the same physical challenges but have had an early MC (6 weeks) and chemical, so mentally it's been tough, but I've found that by the time the next appointment comes around I'm ok to keep going, the last thing I want to do is delay....I also feel like you in that a holiday would be much appreciated, I've not went abroad since I started but decided I'm doing it this summer and no longer putting my life on hold!! I think you will know yourself if you need to take a scheduled break, or whether the time between appointments is enough for you to pick yourself up and go again ❤️ xx

[Hopewhite]

hi Daisy , I’m really sorry to read about the result , I send you a big hug , I was really hoping this would be the lucky one for you . our clinic always advised to leave a couple of months in between, although I think it has more to do with their big waiting times than actual benefits. Hopefully your doctor can explain better if there are any benefits, I’ve left a bigger gap this time as I’ll need egg collection, hopefully it’s just a numbers game and you’re now very close , sending love and strength your way xx

[Jmcgregor1987]

hi there - I’ve had a similar journey to you and what you’ve described is very similar to my 2023. My other half and I decided not to take any proper breaks as we felt mentally we needed to feel like we were doing something to move things forward even if the whole experience was pretty crushing from time to time.

I had significant scarring after my D&C (TFMR at 14 weeks) like you and needed that removed. What my clinic didn’t do was suggest a vaginal probiotic or antibiotics after the treatment. In the end I did the Emma / Alice to check for endometritis because I was paranoid but thankfully all was ok, but I did go on a course of probiotics (Canesflor) before going on a regular dose of Optibac for vaginal microflora and our next transfer (number 5) worked. Of course you never know, but my consultant did say she suspected I had no good bacteria left after a series of invasive procedures.

Whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for you. Xx

[Doodlebug23]

I’m so gutted you didn’t get your BFP 😪 But you know my thoughts. Crack on! The only time I wish I’d waited was when I used the bleed after transfer as my period and didn’t wait for next proper period.

Hakuna Matata 👶🏼🩵

[Twiglet2]

you’ve been through so much 💜 the only breaks I’ve ever taken are forced ones (bad smear, covid closures, clinic full etc) so I know how you feel when you mention the psychological aspect of it, I do t think I could do it. Saying that though my only successful one was after the clinic shut for 4 months during covid (the day before I was due to start again after a miscarriage earlier that year) so maybe there is some benefit in giving your body a wee rest (although it was certainly hard to do mentally) I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer you need to do what’s best for you both xx

[Daisy-Delilah]

Thank you everyone who took the time to reply to me. I met with my consultant today who confirmed there is no clinical reason that I need to take a break, it would only be for mental health and tbh, I think taking a break would have a negative impact on my mental health. Will have a chat with the hubby tonight and decide whether to take the break to get a holiday in, or whether to just carry on.

We’ve also had some bad news about our embryos in storage that he thinks some of them should not have been frozen, so feels like we’ve lost them now 😢

Thanks again everyone- it means so much that you took the time to reply ❤️ xxx