TW: Disposal of embryos

[Purpledoggy]

This question is for those who are stopping/have stopped their journey. This will be very sensitive for those still trying to conceive so please skip.

We are currently at the end of our journey and cannot believe we made it this far. We are exceptionally lucky to still have frozen blastocysts. The pickle I am in is we do not want to use any more of them so they will need to be either destroyed or used for training or research (I am not able to donate them due to my age when they were made). I'm sure this is a very common feeling but I just feel rather sad about these blastocysts that could be people. Statistically most of them would not be but I just feel weird giving up on them. The clinic have offered counselling but TBH I am not sure what they can say to make it any better. I had counselling after my first failed round and it was as much use as a chocolate teapot!

Anyone else who is going through/has gone through this - how did you make peace with it?

xx

[Millbanks]

Hey lovely,

Hope you're doing well

We're just about to have our last ever transfer - 3rd since our LB was born - and we've decided that even if this is a BFN we'll not be doing any more. We are emotionally, physically and financially spent.

But we will also have 2 in the freezer and I think we will donate them to science. I love the idea that these little clusters of cells might one day be able to help other people desperate to become parents. I don't think of the embryos as people as such - they still need that little spark of magic to come to life and having lost 11 embryos so far I feel at peace with it.

I also think of those that never made it to blasto stage - they weren't people yet either - just a possibility.

Its a really hard decision but for me it feels the right one. Good luck with whatever you choose xx

[Purpledoggy in reply to Millbanks]

I would (will) absolutely donate them to science - totally agree re helping someone else get their miracle. I think I maybe just need to focus on that part of it, that it's helping someone else. I never expected to feel quite so attached to them. I guess we have been so lucky with our transfers I feel like at least one of them would be likely to work but obviously no one knows that and it could be nonsense!

Wishing you all the best with this last crack of the whip xx

[Millbanks in reply to Purpledoggy]

I know what you mean - the possibility is always there - but knowing how many BFNs I've had I'm not hopeful!!

Thank you - it will be nice to close this chapter either way xx

[SianieShorts]

I can totally relate to this post.

We had our second child in December after 6 rounds of IVF. Eternally grateful ☺️

We have 2 embryos left in the freezer but we are not going to use them. I have just paid another year to keep them frozen as I can’t bear to get rid of them just yet!!

I think we will eventually donate to science as if it weren’t for the wonders of science, we wouldn’t have our miracles 🥰