Depression and IVF

[WaitingforGabriel]

(Sensitive)

I find my mental health hard to manage. We have been struggling too much in TTC and only disappointment after disappointment. I try hard but find it hard to have hope. I am already having therapy, but so far I don't feel much different. I am thinking of asking medications to doctor to help me reduce my extreme stress, though I am worried whether the psychological medications interact with IVF medications or whether they create extra challenges to implantation or not.

If anyone encountered similar experiences, I appreciate hearing how you dealt with depression and extreme stress.

[C-a-t-m-u-m]

Hi lovely,

I can relate having gone through ivf for my little boy my miracle and in the last year had 1mc and 2 negatives. I have had private counselling for the last 6-8 weeks as it was all too much for me. IVF and infertility has consumed my life for 6 years! It’s so bloody hard and so bloody unfair that we have to go through it all. You are stronger than you think and you can do this! I’ve decided to stop and put ivf in a box. Potentially opening the box again in a year or two. Please look after yourself and do things you enjoy be kind to yourself. I have found the councillor really Hel. Sending hugs. X

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to C-a-t-m-u-m]

I really don't enjoy anything anymore. Thanks for your response and congratulations with your good result.

[Always_hope_andpray]

Hi, I'm so sorry you feel that way, you are not alone, I got really low mood when IVF failed, I got so fed up feeling low, I needed to do something about it, I stopped searching why it went wrong and how I could improve it next time. I thought for now I just need to "forget" about it and focus on my mental health. I booked myself for a massage, I'm awaiting an acupuncture appointment, I went cinema/ out for a meal/ went for walks in the park. Trying mindfulness/meditation using the headspace app. My mood depression hasn't vanished but I feel in a better place.

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Always_hope_andpray]

It is nice that you can handle it yourself. Thank you for your empathy.

[Always_hope_andpray in reply to WaitingforGabriel]

It's really difficult, not sure if I'm handling it, or just trying to find something else to do to occupy my mind. But, when I'm alone, night or first thing in the morning the anxiety and low mood is the hardest to deal with. Or when I hear someone's "good news"😞. So I can totally relate to your feelings. Hope you find a way to deal/manage what you're going through.x

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Always_hope_andpray]

I didn't feel upset with someone's good news so far, but I feel so much pissed off seeing people having multiple children and they don't care about them. They leave them in the middle of the street, or let them roll on hospital floors. I saw babies at the church putting coins into their mouths. I really cannot swallow seeing people who literally don't deserve having kids, who end up having 3 or 4 of them, while we can't have any.

[Cridog]

I am so, so sorry that you're having such a hard time. I, too, have struggled hugely with stress, anxiety and depression. I went through some cousenlling through my employer, but it didn't help at all. I am trying very hard to enjoy the things I once did, and I miss the happy, easy-going person I used to be. I find myself most of the days thinking non-stop of not having a baby and struggling all the time to try to conceive. We went through IVF last year and the fresh transfer failed, which ended up in a huge drop in my already low mental health, and now I think I am burnt out from a combination of work, PhD, family and fertility issues.

I don't have any advice on how to overcome this, as I'm struggling too with depression. But I just wanted to let you know that there are some of us who feel exactly the same and that you really aren't alone in feeling like this. Sending you big hugs, lots of love and massive hopes to achieve what it's the best for you xxx

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Cridog]

God bless 🙏🏻

[TheWarren]

Hi. Just wanted to say I can relate, and also feel hopeless and can't enjoy anything anymore. This is just all consuming and I feel so stressed. I have had 5 miscarriages from natural conceptions over the past 2 years. We have now moved to ivf. First fresh transfer failed. I am now 5 weeks pregnant with fet. But I have had a little bit of bleeding, so I am super stressed and don't know how to get through each day. I am so scared this will fail as our time is running out due to age.I too have tried counselling but it doesn't help as I think all these feelings are completely normal and to be expected.

I am not sure anything I can say will make you feel better, but if you want a chat let me know xx

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to TheWarren]

Thank you dear. I hope your baby grows healthy and your struggles end soon.

[Rhihopeful24]

hi lovely,

My first fet has just failed and I have struggled with my mental health and anxiety due to my pcos too but I completely relate to how you feel.

I spoke to my gp about this as I was worried too but needed some help and have been prescribed sertraline and they reassured me no medications should interfere with ivf drugs and that the health of the mother is a priority.

[Twiglet2]

Your GP should be able to advise which meds are suitable but there are absolutely antidepressants that can be taken with IVF (and some that can’t) but definitely worth speaking with your GP about it and how you are feeling xx

[Wellington22]

Hi WaitingforGabriel,

I am so sorry that you have to feel like this. There are certainly medications for anxiety and depression that are safe to take while trying to conceive; I would contact your GP to get some advice.

What I would suggest is that you contact your local mental health services. You can often self-refer and it can be really beneficial to talk to somebody about your feelings.

Just know that you are not alone. This journey feels so isolating but you do not have to go through it without help. There are so many people who absolutely understand everything you are going through. Xx

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Wellington22]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Thank you for the ideas to reach to local support. I will try so more.

[Myshh]

Hi I'm on citalopram over 8 years due general anxiety disorder. I did my IVF back in February the outcome is 10 weeks pregnant. If you don't feel well already and therapy is not working for you by this point . I would strongly suggest to solve your mental health before you go through IVF . It's a lot to take mentally and I'm glad that I was pretty stable. There safe medication to take during the pregnancy so don't worry about that.

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Myshh]

Thank you. It is good to hear that your medication didn't interact with IVF.

We have been trying IVF for 2 years already. I am 40 and waiting for a baby to come, before I will go to another 3 big surgeries for other health issue I have. Leaving IVF and taking time off is not an option. We don't have time.

[Myshh in reply to WaitingforGabriel]

Oh I see. Fingers cross it will work out for you as well. I'm 41 and it did happened.

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Myshh]

Oh, I am sorry. I hope you can achieve the results you wish very soon. 🙏🏻

[Mexicosunnydays]

I feel 110% the same however my situation is complex as I believe anti depressants are the reason I did nothing re trying to have a family sooner and I’m now 42.5 I feel like they stole my ability to think deeply about having children and I just went into auto pilot like a robot working all the time. I was on floroxitine for my ocd… I came off at 41 then desperately wanted a baby medical delays have meant I’m 42.5 now frightened to go back on them but also cannot cope I’m not sleeping I'm shivery i struggle to work frustratingly my ocd seems cured but my mental health is now worse than ever with a deep depression. It’s the anxiety of if own egg doesn’t work and then donor egg doesn’t work what will I do. Then on top of this I worry if this would put off adoption agencies / local authority if adoption was the only option left…

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Mexicosunnydays]

I keep watching success stories on YouTube. I see 46, 48 women getting pregnant, even one 70 year old in Uganda! That gives some hope. We humans can't make it without hope. I pray for you and thank you for praying for me too! 🙏🏻