4 weeks +6 anxiety!

[ThreeSixEight]

I'm currently 4 weeks +6 pregnant. The level of anxiety I've had this past week since finding out has been unreal. This is the first time we have ever seen a positive test after 6x iui and 2 rounds of IVF with fresh transfers over the past 2 years. This embryo was our first natural FET cycle with a top grade embryo, and we have one of the lower end of average left on ice. We were so happy when we got that first positive test but I can't stop worrying about miscarrying and have been testing every day since finding out at 3 weeks +4 - my lines are dark and there has been no indication that it could be a CP but I'm still SO anxious. I have been cramping in my left side pretty much daily since the transfer (and maybe a few days before) and the pain just hasn't gone away. I've had some occasional minor cramping in the other side and have a pin prick sensation a few times, similar to the ones I had when implantation occurred. I've also had some small waves of nausea but on days I haven't I've panicked more.

Problem is, I have no idea what is normal or what isn't. I'm so scared we will have a chemical/early miscarriage,especially since I'm overweight and am on a lot of medication for Bipolar which I've previously been told would also make it a high risk pregnacy. What should I be looking out for? I know all of this anxiety isn't going to be good for me or my sticky baby, but I just can't stop worrying and testing every day and nothing is reassuring me. Our 6 week scan is in 9 days and it feels impossible holding on until then to see if there's a heartbeat. Any tips? 🙃

[JA-fnuk Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

This is a stressful time but there is support for you - take a look at our Healthunlocked Pregnancy Forum that is available On our website fertilitynetworkuk.org there is a UK-Wide Support Group - next zoom meeting Wednesday 24th Jan 8pm On main page select menu then Access Support- Fertility groups then select UK-Wide Groups and then scroll to Pregnancy & Beyond Groups and follow the prompts to register

Look after yourself

Janet-Partner

[jinis]

Congratulations on your BFP! I recently had the first ever positive on medicated FET (currently 10+3) so I can relate to your anxiety.

Not sure of the feasibility (it depends on where you are based) but between the positive test and the first scan at 6+4, I had a few beta blood tests done at a private clinic to monitor its rise. This definitely put me at ease as I was worried about ectopic as well due to having pain in the left lower abdomen. I'm aware some companies do home test kits but I haven't used them so I can't comment on their reliability.

Keeping myself busy with work, exercises and seeing friends also helped! Although the wait was agonising over Xmas 😅 Keeping all the fingers/toes for you x

[ThreeSixEight in reply to jinis]

Thankyou - congratulations to you as well!! I live relitively rurally so the services around us aren't great and we make a 5hr round trip to our clinic. My GP won't test my bloods but I know if I had bloods done it'd probably ease a lot of my anxiety (before my brain moved onto the next thing!). I'll definitely try to explore it a bit in the next few days and see if there's anywhere privately that we can seem some reassurance from. Thankyou!

[Kate-92]

it’s such an anxious nerve wracking time - but congratulations ! I had a chemical in august so after our transfer in November I tested every single day multiple times - when we got our positive I ramped up the testing even more ! It’s only at 11+5 I have relaxed a tiny bit. We have paid for 3 private scans already and have our 12 wk on Monday. There will always be something to worry about, keep yourself busy & stay off google !! I found using flo to track my symptoms really helpful & don’t be alarmed if they come and go, mine have ! I can completely understand why after what you have been through to get to this point you feel how you do - but remember no 2 pregnancy’s are the same try not to compare x

[ThreeSixEight in reply to Kate-92]

Gosh, I'm glad it's settling for you as that sounds awful, though I feel like I might end up in a similar position with all this worrying! I'm glad everything is progressing nicely for you 😊

I definitely need to stay off Google!! It's so hard though 🙈 x

[GranolaLover2000]

Hey, congratulations on your positive result if you're really anxious and you feel it's affecting your well-being you could ask your clinic if they could do a blood test to check your beta level is rising. I am in a similar situation, I'm at 5 weeks but have to wait another 2 weeks for my scan. After years of IVF it's scary when you've never got so far into a pregnancy so I totally understand your anxiety! Personally I'm just trying to stay happy and positive (it involves tricking myself into it at times!) Just imagine holding your little one in 9 months time you've earned this happiness! X

[ThreeSixEight in reply to GranolaLover2000]

We must be really similar with our dates!

Thankfully I have an appointment with the early pregnancy unit tomorrow and they're going to do bloods and scan to make sure it's not eptopic due to the pain worsening today. Hoping it's just pcos related though as I've had cramping on the other side as well 🤞🏼

The wait is awful isn't it! I'm thankful my EPU will scan tomorrow but they have pre warned me that they might not be able to pick up anything just yet (I'll be 5 weeks 1 day) and they might not be able to make a 'diagnosis'. Hopefully it gives me some reassurance though and our 7 week scan will be positive xx

[Cutecolliedog]

congrats on your pregnancy 😃 I can totally understand feeling this anxious as I was similar. The wait for viability scan is almost worse than the 2ww for me. I find doing the headspace meditation anxiety course really good at helping when you are feeling overwhelmed.

in terms of testing for lines I would say just to step away from it if you can (I did it too though so understand). When I’ve miscarried I still got very positive tests unfortunately 😢

Also in terms of bloods medichecks do a finger prick test which is super easy to do. If you tick no doctors comments I’ve previously got these results within 48 hrs of doing them. I would recommend if you want piece of mind that everything going in right direction.

Does your clinic offer counselling? I found out counsellor really helpful to chat with as well. And of course this forum is great as so many of us are in similar positions xxx

[ThreeSixEight in reply to Cutecolliedog]

Thankyou 😊 I've got an appointment with the early pregnancy unit tomorrow for some bloods to make sure they seem okay due to the pain being in one side and it getting a bit worse today. I've had cramping elsewhere as well though so hopefully it's just pcos related. I really wasn't expecting this period of time to be so much worse than the TWW!!

My clinic do offer counselling but I'm reluctant to access it - we've had to use donor sperm and my mother in law has helped fund most of our treatment which I feel incredibly guilty for, especially whenever we've had a negative test. The counsellor said that my husbands family should be paying for the treatment as the main issue we've had is with his fertility.. I really didn't like when she said that and thought it was quite an unfair comment so I'm very hesitant to speak to her again 🙁 xx

[Meeandembryos]

Congratulations on your pregnancy try to have faith that it will be all OK and try your best to focus on the present moment rather than thinking about all the what ifs because really the what ifs are out of your hands. What can you do to keep your mind busy?

[ThreeSixEight in reply to Meeandembryos]

Thankyou 😊 I'll spend some time this evening thinking of things that will help at different points of the day rather than obsessing. Maybe a list of things to choose from will help rather than me feeling stuck and worried 🤞🏼

[Meeandembryos in reply to ThreeSixEight]

That sounds like such a great idea. A little go to list and the things don't even need to be big they could take 5 mins but that 5 mins may be enough to district you for a little while longer.

[Leef86]

Congratulations on your BFP and so sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time with it. All the symptoms you describe sound really encouraging. I'm 9+3 with my second (both IVF) and I can say the symptoms have been really quite different, to the point where I was really worried at the 7 wk scan, but there was the heartbeat on the screen. I was also having twinges and cramps moving from side to side, more so the weeks around my test date and it's been easing off recently. I also had little twinges of nausea at about your stage, but the nausea didn't really kick off until 6ish weeks, both times. (And even now I have the odd day where I don't feel nauseous and start to panic, it's natural after everything we've been through to get here). You deserve this and please don't berate yourself for worrying, do what you can to distract yourself but you can't stop all your feelings and it won't harm baby.

I have experienced pregnancy loss as well and I've obsessed over and read enough to have come to now accept that pregnancy symptoms are really personal and do not mean the same thing in different people. I think the things you've mentioned sound promising, they were for me, and I hope that's reassuring. But they also change so frequently as well, so if these ones fade or new ones start that can be perfectly normal too as the baby grows and burrows in. Wishing you the best for a healthy pregnancy.

[ThreeSixEight in reply to Leef86]

Thankyou so so much, that was really reassuring to read. Congrats on baby number 2, I hope everything works out for you 😊