BFP to BFN 15DP5DT (4 + 5 weeks)

[BabyDust23]

Hi everyone, just wanted to post an update for anyone who has seen my previous posts, as I know people often search and it’s nice to know the outcome. Firstly thank you for all the reassurance, it certainly helped during a worrying time. I know some people say not to test often as it can cause anxiety, but for me after bleeding at 6dp5dt testing was the only thing that was keeping me sane and giving me reassurance to see the two lines. However as the lines didn’t progress I knew in my heart it hadn’t continued but was obviously hoping for the best outcome.. again for me I’m glad I did as I would’ve been more shocked at getting a BFP on OTD for then a BFN a few days later, I feel it gave me the warning.

So, yesterday at 15dp5dt my lines were lighter with 1st morning urine, and the clear blue digital then said not pregnant. I contacted the clinic who provided no reassurance at all, the nurse wouldn’t even speak to me and advised the receptionist to tell me to retest in 1 week and update them. I was understandably upset and felt let down especially at this time of year being expected to continue my meds and worry all over the Christmas period.

I called my GP and explained my situation and they were so understanding and agreed to check my blood HCG, which unfortunately confirmed my concerns, it was negative with a level of 8. So I am now taking it upon myself to stop all meds, have a nice bath, and probably a couple of alcoholic beverages over the Christmas period.

Thank you all again for your support and reassurance and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and have you all in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏼🎄

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry to read this update, it’s truly heartbreaking. Sending you a big hug and hope you’ve got lots of support. Xx

[BabyDust23 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xx

[Fruitandflowers]

I'm so sorry - I've been there twice early after transfers (5 and 6 weeks), and one where it kept going up but sporadically and wasn't viable, ending in surgery. It's really, really hard to have that taken away, when all you've wanted is the two lines. And I'm sorry about how the clinic reacted - in my experience they aren't good at all with these situations and seem to offer no help or advice, so you're either curtly told to stop the meds and it's all over, or they just leave you taking the meds and endlessly testing and in limbo. I was even told on my first loss by a nurse at my clinic that I'd had what was known as a biochemical, which meant I was 'never really pregnant' - this wasn't correct for a start, but the insensitivity floored me. I'm glad your GP has been responsive and helpful - I had the same thankfully, and it really helped to have some support and definitive answers at such a difficult time. Enjoy Christmas and when you're feeling stronger and may want to try again, (and appreciate it's hard to think like this right now) try and focus on the fact that you got pregnant and it developed for a while, which means you were already past a load of hurdles and are probably in a good position for it to work, maybe the next time, or maybe the one after that, but just because it didn't work this time doesn't mean anything for the future.

[BabyDust23 in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Thank you for your reply and I’m so sorry to hear you have been there too, it really is heartbreaking. It’s the only time I have ever had two lines in my life, so it’s so hard having it taken away from you. I am honestly shocked with the clinic, I was made to feel like I’m just another number, not like an actual human with feelings and dealing with loss! That’s terrible what the nurse said to you!.. where is the compassion?!

I’m still feeling quite angry and upset about the whole situation and the minute. Hopefully over the next few days come to terms with and try to enjoy Christmas as much as we can.

That is true, I think it’s definitely a positive that we have managed to get pregnant we got our first BFP. We are going to take a little break for a few months after a full on year, being a shell of ourselves, no social lives, hardly any intercourse and managing all our future plans around conceiving, we’re absolutely drained and my body needs a break. We’ve booked a holiday so we have something to look forward to too.

Hope all is well with you 🙏🏼 have a lovely Christmas 🎄

[Fruitandflowers in reply to BabyDust23]

Yes, sadly had a very similar experience- never had two lines and I just assumed we'd been lucky and was devastated when they faded after OTD. The second time I was more ready for it, even though it started to make me worry something was very wrong and it would never work, but the next one/first FET, worked. I moved clinics after the first awful experience and like you say, being treated like a number - it took them 6mnths to even follow-up with a letter, by which point I was pregnant from the FET at the new clinic, and just angry with them. It's terrible that there's no support at some clinics, especially after everything you've been through but I think if you asked on here you'd get masses of similar experiences, so it's not just a one-off. Look after yourself and yes try and enjoy what you can and the break x

[WillowPark]

So sorry 😞 I saw your previous posts and was keeping everything crossed for you for a better outcome. It is so difficult especially at this time of year. Definitely enjoy those alcoholic beverages and treat yourself! x

[Eloquentia]

I am really sorry to read this. Big hugs, stay strong!

[Booda21]

so sorry to read this, sending you lots of love 💫

[Twiglet2]

I’m so so sorry the exact same thing happened to me at this time last year and it really really sucked!!! Sending you a hug massive hug 💖and I do hope you get to enjoy some of the Christmas and new year! Lean on friends and family as much as you can xxx

[BabyDust23 in reply to Twiglet2]

It really does suck! I’m so sorry that you went through this too 🩷xxx

[Keepingfaith85]

oh I’m so sorry. Absolutely gutted for you and I’m so annoyed that your clinic weren’t more helpful.

I bet you are feeling all over the place. I think at least Christmas gives us something to stop for, take a break and can put off plans until the new year. Take extra good care of yourself and yes bath, wine etc all the luxuries until it’s time to go again xxxx

[BabyDust23 in reply to Keepingfaith85]

Thank you and the same to you, hope you have a lovely Christmas xxx 🎄

[HoneyB11]

so sorry to read this. Definitely time for lots of self care over the Christmas period and do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better! Sending love and strength xxx