When is it enough?

[PinkCat22]

hi everyone.

I’m struggling. I saw our consultant this week following our most recent EC. We have 3 PGTA normal embryos from it which we did not expect (for context, we got 9 embryos from our first two rounds and only one was PGTA normal. Transfer of that one failed in July).

I was so happy with getting three. I’ve just turned 43 last week, and felt like a warrior for not giving up after those first two rounds (the second was a horrible experience). I felt so lucky and grateful for the results.

But at the consultation, our doctor didn’t seem to share my hope. He said he had to raise the question of whether we wanted to do another EC before transferring given I’ve just turned 43 and the grading of the three we have which are:

Day 5 - 4BB, Day 6 - 5BC, Day 7 - 4AA (this was a surprise to us - apparently it looks lovely but has less chance due to being a day 7).

Our consultant explained that these grades along with my conditions (endo and adenomyosis) meant he had to ask if we wanted to try and bank some more before getting into transfers.

My whole body just crumbled and I burst into tears even thinking about it. This year has been so hard and each EC has left me in more and more pain from endo. I’m also struggling with the emotional impact of the hormones (reader, I am a tearful wreck) and had OHSS twice so am just a little done with egg collections. Not to mention the financial impact which has been really rough.

But I still feel guilty for saying I wanted to just take our chances with what we have. By the time we get to the other side of those transfers, I may be too old to do further egg collections and I can’t stop wondering if I’ll regret my decision to draw a line here.

I realise we have three chances, and I am so grateful for them. But the loss in July has made me feel less than hopeful perhaps, so I’m scared to make a wrong choice.

I see women on here who have gone through YEARS of IVF and many more egg collections than me, so part of me feels I’m being weak or that I should find a way to somehow muster the money or strength or patience for another dose of OHSS…

how do you know when to draw a line and not feel… guilty for doing so?

love to you all xxx

[Hidden]

just read this 🫶🏻 I completely understand how you feel about another egg collection. I have done 3 this year and each one my endo was so so painful. Embryo banking sounds like a good idea, but I can imagine it’s absolutely exhausting and will really take its toll.

To have 3 pgta normal embryos is really amazing, maybe you could consider transferring your day 5 and then doing another round as a back up if it doesn’t work. Hope you’re ok and you manage to work out a plan, I always feel calmer with a plan.

Sending lots of luck x

[PinkCat22 in reply to Hidden]

❤️ you are so right! I need the plan to land from the clinic. I’m about a month post EC and still a hormonal lunatic, so when the next steps are a bit unknown it feels tricky.

I can’t believe the similarities in your journey. I’ve spent a year feeling so very alone and finding this forum the last few days has helped so much.

Your suggestion about the day 5 embryo is brilliant. I’m going to have a really good think about that ❤️🙏

[Twiglet2]

3 PGTA tested is amazing! I would defo at least try one transfer! 1 in the hand is worth 3 in the bush as they say, it’s not a bunch of embryos you want it’s a baby and you do need to start transferring to get that. I get why they might have raised it with your age but if they were discussing it in a way that made you feel less hopeful for the 3 you have, kinda pushy, I would also be wary if they were after a bit more money from you with another fresh cycle and testing!

If it were me I would planning to do a frozen transfer ASAP of at least the day 5 if not both the day 5 and 6 (perhaps double transfer?) delaying a potential new egg collection for a few months is defo worth it for the sake of trying those really good embryos you already have in my opinion! Good luck whatever you decide and don’t feel guilty there is absolutely no right or wrong answer it’s got to be the one that feels right for you 💜 xx

[PinkCat22 in reply to Twiglet2]

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