Grief over what should have been

[Citizenerased83]

Hi all

I hope you're all as well as you can be.

I've been hit by a tidal wave of grief today over what should have been my due date on 6 Sept if my 2nd pregnancy had gone to plan. I already went though this in June with what should have been my first due date.

Feels like these milestones never end - October is when I miscarried first time around too and I have so much trauma relating to that too.

I'm hoping my thyroid levels are in a good range when I have another blood test next week so we can do another FET cycle but this also fills me with anxiety as I'm so sure it'll end in tears again. Feel so alone today with this all. X

[McQueeny]

I’m so sorry you are in this situation. I have been there too, hitting the due date of what should have been were it not for an early loss. It’s heart breaking. Sending you strength x

[Citizenerased83 in reply to McQueeny]

Thank you so much McQueeny. I really appreciate it. I'm so sorry that you've also been in this position. Wishing you well on your journey to have a baby x

[PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK]

Hello I am sorry to hear you are feeling like this, not sure if you are uk based but there is a charity called Petals which I have only found out about myself today, and they offer help with people that have had a lost and I believe also help when you become pregnant again and you are feeling anxious, they can help and also have people that can attend appointments with you x

[Citizenerased83 in reply to PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK]

Thank you so much. I am UK based - I hadn't heard of this charity and will look them up. I'm sorry you've also had a tough time. I hope the charity helps and sending you lots of luck for your fertility treatment x

[Koala365]

I am so sorry to hear this. I too am coming up to the anniversary of my due date. It will be 3 years but it doesn't get any easier especially since my fertility journey has now ended and I will never have a rainbow baby. I am currently working out what I want to do with the day. I know I want to find a church and light a candle there with my husband but I don't think I will be able to work on that day as I will be too upset and I might make a mistake. It doesn't seem right that I will have to take a day's holiday when holiday should be used to do something fun. I hope you got through the day okay. Sending my best wishes, thoughts and prayers xx

[Citizenerased83 in reply to Koala365]

Thank you Koala365. I'm so sorry for your loss and that you're at the end of your fertility journey. That must be exceptionally difficult. Finding a way to mark the day sounds like a good idea and I hope it brings you both some comfort. I know what you mean about having to take holiday for days like these. It's not right is it.

Sending you lots of love and strength. Thank you so much for your kind wishes xx

[Ms_here]

Hi Citizenerased83

I really feel for you my dear. It’s my birthday today and I should be halfway through my pregnancy. I woke up very sad this morning about the what ifs…

But alas, it doesn’t change anything, I think like you as I approach the due date, the sadness will be overwhelming again. I don’t think what you’re feeling is unnatural, it’s totally understandable and we’ve been through so much.

I hope you have lots of family and friends to support you during this time, just because the pregnancy is no more, doesn’t mean those dates have no significance, it’s even more upsetting. Please don’t lose hope…

I wish you well in this process and hope that moving forward you will have good news soon x

[Citizenerased83 in reply to Ms_here]

Thanks so much Ms_here. I'm so sorry for your loss too and that you can't enjoy your birthday because of your grief. It's so overwhelming isn't it and I think people who have fallen pregnant easily and had an easy pregnancy really take it for granted.

Thank you for your kind words. I have good friends and family but I think most of them really just don't understand how tough it is as they've not been through it.

I wish you lots of luck and baby dust on your journey too. I hope it's your turn soon x

[Pocahontas2023]

Sometimes i wish we could do a group hug.

Sending you all my love. It is such a dark and lonely journey sometimes.

I had miscarriages, chemicals, bfn but i always consider my 7 embryos that didnt make it as my angel children. It really helps me to know they are mine and no1 can take them. The world might not see a baby but we have them in our thoughts.

I like to believe and hope your angels are playing with my angels and all the other angels that would have been loved o so dearly.

❤️

[Citizenerased83 in reply to Pocahontas2023]

Thank you so much Pocahontas2023. I'm so sorry for your loss too. Your reply has made me teary - such a lovely thougjt to think all our angel babies are playing together. You're right, no one can take the babies away from our thoughts.

Sending you lots of love too and wishing you lots of baby dust. I really hope your dream comes true soon. Xxx