Is it time for donor eggs?

[Tarasunny]

A little back story. I'm 39 years old single doing IVF for almost 2 years and IUI before that. I've just found out this morning (4am because of course that's when I needed to pee and now I can't back to sleep!) that my latest transfer has failed. Out of my 4 rounds of IVF I've produced 17 eggs and 4 blastocysts. 2 ended in missed miscarriage and the most recent 2 have been BFN. I had considered donor eggs before my last round but ultimately tried another fresh round with my own eggs with a new clinic (3rd cycle with my previous clinic ended with 0 eggs collected).

Now I'm really struggling to decide what to do next. I responded much better with my new clinic getting 9 eggs, 6 mature but only 2 fertilised normally and luckily both made it to blastocyst. Numbers are not brilliant (although better than previous) so my question is do I do another round of own egg IVF or do I go for donor egg. I'm feeling a bit like I'm flogging a dead horse and throwing my money down the drain and not getting anywhere. I could keep going but I'm not sure I have the energy it's physically and emotionally exhausting. Any thoughts or suggestions, I'm really struggling?

[Dinfertilitylady]

Hi Tarasunny, I’m so sorry to hear your latest cycle was not the one 😢 Just to let you know you are not alone, at 40 years old after 6 transfers with no baby, I am starting to feel exactly the same. It’s really difficult to know when to move on & annoyingly it’s different for everyone. You’ve got to consider how much longer you want to keep going emotionally, but also financially because donor is not guaranteed to work 1st time either so you may need money for several attempts at that as well. I’ve heard it can take several months/ a year to come to terms with moving to donor so all I can suggest is starting that process asap & seeing where you end up. If you haven’t already I would join the Donor Conception Network as they have been a great help to me & also start some implications counselling with a fertility counsellor. Wishing you luck in your journey xx

[Tarasunny in reply to Dinfertilitylady]

Thanks I'd considered donor eggs after my 0 eggs collected round but wasn't ready at this point. Because I responded better on short protocol (compared to flare) it threw me a bit of a curveball. I've had a quick look at donor conception network before but probably would be a good idea to join. Are you considering donor eggs too?

[Orangeflowers]

Hello, I've sent you a DM. So sorry this transfer hasn't worked. Just to mention also that there's an option of tandem cycles (which I know of abroad at least) where they collect eggs from you and the donor and take both to blast, then you decide which to transfer on day 5. It might give the option of getting more in the freezer and trying again with your own eggs with a donor too. I know there's also refund packages available and guaranteed egg/blast numbers with some donor egg clinics.

But as I say, there is most likely a really good chance still with your own eggs, especially as you've done better at your new clinic. Maybe see what the consultant says. Time and money is a big factor though and each cycle is a drain.

Hoping your next steps are a success xx

[articsnowfox]

You could try 3 months of dhea-there is really good evidence it improves egg quality and I think it helped me conceive my second son at 43 years of age. My leftover pills also maybe helped my friend have a baby at 43

[EllieHere369 in reply to articsnowfox]

Hi, having similar thoughts and on dhea. Do you mind me asking which brand of dhea you are using. I’m trying Nutricology.

[Tarasunny in reply to articsnowfox]

Thanks I tried DHEA for tounds 1, 2 and 3 and unfortunately it didn't do much for me 😢

[Skittles11]

I'm in a similar position, I've had more cycles than you but across the first four I collected 18 eggs and one of those cycles was a no eggs collected cycle. Its so tough to make these decisions. In your shoes I would want to hear what the new clinic have to say about the cycle and potential suggestions going forward. It does sound like you responded better and two blasts is amazing. I truly know what you mean in terms of when to stop though, I will be having the same dilemma if my frozen embryo is unsuccessful. Xx

[Tarasunny in reply to Skittles11]

Thank you for reply. I have a follow up with my clinic but not till 3rd May, it will definitely be interesting to see what they suggest. I know that statistics wise donor eggs are going to give me the best chance at a baby (or 2 🤣) I don't have endless time, an endless supply of cash or mental health capacity to keep going with my own eggs much longer. Good luck with your upcoming FET 🤞

[honeybeanbee]

I have a friend who tried to conceive with her own eggs using IVF but that didn't work. She went down the donor egg route and now has a beautiful little girl. Their daughter knows she's from a donor egg as they read her an age appropriate story about it every evening before bed, she's very happy and content and so are the family, it was the right choice for them but of course not for everyone. Hope that story helps in some way and best of luck xoxo