Did you take a break after a failed transfer? Feeling lost after 1st transfer

[Minniemouse88]

Hi, I'm at the end of my first tww and had bright red blood last night. I've know instinctively that it didn't work for a couple of days but have to wait until Monday for the official test.😢

I have another four embryos frozen and my clinic asked if I wanted to start another cycle straight away.

I feel really lost and not in a great place for making decisions but also feel the horrible march of time.

Has anyone done back to back FET or waited? Did you feel any benefit with either option?

I'm NHS funded and my clinic only offers medicated hrt cycles. I really feel my body has been through hell with the hormones and keep wondering if that's the reason it didn't work. I think I would prefer natural but can't afford to go private.

Sorry for the barrage of posts recently. This process is so draining. I really do have so much admiration for you all.

Take care and thank you in advance x❤️

[Helto200]

Hiya. Sorry to hear about how you are feeling. You obviously still have your test day, so keeping everything crossed for you. I think for my first natural transfer, which was a bfn, I went straight to the frozen. That was a success and we have a wonderful 6 year old girly. We were nhs funded as well. Since then we had 4 or 5 more frozen transfers, I think I have lost count, 🤣 but had a bit of a break in between..slightly different situation for us, because we weren't sure if we were going to continue at all. Good luck anyway and do what feels right for your body and mind. It's an emotional roller coaster and can take its toll on you. Xx

[Minniemouse88 in reply to Helto200]

Thank you for sharing and lovely to hear of your little girl xx

[Fruitandflowers]

I'm really sorry if this one hasn't worked for you. Best wait until Monday and maybe call your clinic in the meantime (if they're open), but if it's not good news I think it's great your clinic is giving you the option to go again straight away even if ultimately you decide to take a bit of a break - not all clinics and in particular NHS ones will let you do that and sometimes their scheduling means there's quite a big break. Personally after each of my two early losses on fresh transfers I wanted to go straight back in as I needed something to work towards and the hope. I went into another round on my next period after one then a FET on the period after that. I didn't have any complications and my clinic was happy with it. Maybe it meant that I didn't really process the losses and it was probably hard for my body but that was right for me. However, I'm not sure a couple or even a few months would make a difference in terms of outcome, I think it's more delays of a year or more, and even then I think age and time is more of a factor with collections than FETs. You are young in IVF terms so do whatever feels right for you.

[Minniemouse88 in reply to Fruitandflowers]

Thank you for taking the time to respond and for your thoughtful advice. I called the clinic and they said there would be a break before next FET so glad the decision has been taken out of our hands. Just got to ride out the aches and pains until Monday. Thank you ❤️ x

[HedgehogMad]

I think it's a personal decision as everyone is different. We had to wait a month in between our first three transfers which I found really hard as I just wanted to keep going. Then persuaded the clinic to let me do two back to back. I felt better with that as felt that we were doing something and it minimised the waiting, but after the last one failed I did feel really broken. I did natural cycles for all my FETs so it wasn't so much messing around with hormones. In the grand scheme of things one month isn't a long time and if you feel that physically and mentally you need a short break then I would go for it - spend time doing things you love and look after yourself as this process can be brutal xxx

[Minniemouse88 in reply to HedgehogMad]

Thank you HedgehogMad. Sorry to hear you've had such a hard time but all credit to you for getting through it. Phoned the clinic and looks as though there will be a break anyway, so decision out of our hands, which is one less stress. Thank you for sharing and wishing you lots of luck xxx

[Eloquentia]

I am really sorry the first round didn't work! Mine didn't either and I remember well how soul crushing it was. We took a break, just a couple of months to give ourselves time to heal and it really helped. We went on holiday in Italy, met up with friends, resumed normal life for a bit, it did us a lot of good! I also did a few reflexology sessions that made me feel really relaxed and much better in my own body. Still early days but our second round worked. Good luck! xx

[Minniemouse88 in reply to Eloquentia]

Thank you, it sounds like you handled it beautifully. We're not technically out just yet as test day is tomorrow but if it is negative as I expect, I will definitely be taking some time for reclaiming a bit of life before the next try. Congratulations on your success and hope you keep well and happy xxx