44yrs about to hit donor fet cycle but needing to vent with possible triggers (don’t read if sensitive)

[Anglo-Italia]

I was brought up rather religiously so being told I’d marry and have kids was my “goal”

At 16 alone in a hospital 2 hours drive from my parents I was told by a trainee doctor exactly like this….

Hello I’m Dr xxx I’m a trainee as the specialist is out to an emergency. I see from your tests you can’t have kids. (Leaves the room)

That day I was so dazed by the information that I caught the train back to my town and on the way home a man tried to be funny by saying “smile it may never happen”. That same man followed me to my home and proceeded to rape me. What a day!

I still suffer all these years later from the trauma of what happened there. I often blame myself.

I met a ‘good’ man some time later who I trusted with the information who threw away the comment that I probably deserved it. I was stupid and vulnerable and spent 20 years with him. I had a tandem cycle with him that resulted in an ectopic. It completely broke the relationship but after leaving I could see that the relationship was toxic. I then went on to a relationship with a guy very abusive mentally and physically.

I am pleased to say I’ve healed and obviously escaped.

I’ve met and married the man I was destined to be with. He is so sensitive loving and nurtures me rather than chipping away my character.

We were married in November and we are off for our first donor egg fet First week of March. He has some fertility issues his side too and when we first met we both said that we had resigned ourselves that we would likely not have children. We quickly realised that the right person is vital to being mentally able to face this journey and that we wanted it together.

All fingers and toes are crossed as at 44 this is all very hopeful.

Sorry for the long post just needed to get it out my brain. Been so unlucky that meeting my person felt too good to be true and I truly hope it’s our turn.

🤞

[minnesota_girl]

I just wanted to say best of luck to you on this cycle. I wish you nothing but the best and hope it all goes well for you both x

[Anglo-Italia in reply to minnesota_girl]

Thank you x

[katiehopeful81]

good luck to you. I hope this cycle will be successful for the both of you x

[Midsummer_daydream]

hope it will be your turn and this round is a success

[Muppetgirl]

Sending you all the love and growing energy for your body to accept those eggs. You've got this. IVF worked for me a week before my 45th bday. It can be done. Proud to k ow that you're trying

[Social-Butterfly]

Wishing you all the baby dust of this world!

[xIVFWarriorx]

So sorry for the traumas you’ve gone through. I wish you and your husband the very best for your donor transfer 🤞🏼x

[Anonymou5]

Good luck to you both, wishing you all the best in your journey xx

[PagingMom]

Thank you for sharing your story - wow that is really a lot of courage to take to keep on going! I'm glad you found the right man in the end. Good luck to both of you in having children.

[Sweethear]

wow I just want to say you are a warrior and has conquered a lot to be right where you are now am so proud of you and very happy for you praying you that the universe grant you all your heart desire wishing you all the very best