IVF and donor egg - right for me?

Hello. I’m new.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Sherilyn. I'm 36 years old from Georgia, USA. We have married with my man 6 months ago. We had gorgeous honey moon and now think about having kids. The problem is that I’m a bearer of broken gene and have inherited muscular myopathy. It’s not life threatening and doesn’t influence the length of life at all. However, it influences its quality. They say that the variety of inheriting it by my children is 50%. Of course, I want my child to be healthy. Running the risk of 50% is like a Russian roulette. My husband knows about this problem. We didn’t use to talk about it before because we were not thinking of kids.

Now when we both decided we’re ready, he says that he is very concerned about the issue. His mother told him that we may use an egg of a healthy woman and proceed via IVF. It excludes the risks of inheriting my disease, but the baby won’t be genetically connected to me at all.

What shall I do?

I’m at a loss.

His mother is a very tempered woman and if she decided, she will make us follow her decision.

Maybe she is right?

I don’t know…

14 Replies

  • 50% is a lot, but remember your chance of having a healthy baby is also 50%. I don't know how severe your conditions is, though.

    Maybe it's worth trying? who know: maybe you'll be blessed for having a healthy child with your own genes?

  • Oh, hun, I'm sorry you're in-between :(

    I know this rollercoaster well myself. I've always been endo sufferer. But seems that was not all in our case. My dh has low sperm count and motility. 10 years married 2 of which TTC with no result. In haste we tried 1 shot IUI, 1 shot ICSI - didn't help. Then dr gave us 5% verdict of conceiving with OE though dh's sperm got much better after treatment. We had to look onto egg donation route and decided to pass it abroad. (We didn't want to pay out of the pocket again. And going abroad is a good way to save). We passed ivf with donor egg in Biotexcom, Ukraine and are now happy parents of a marvelous baby boy.

    I cannot say the decision of using donor egg was one of the simplest/smoothest. I felt heartbroken and just miserable as I failed to give my baby to dh, a woman's main function. But just now I feel so blessed we took this very way. We have a healthy adorable boy and no matter how he appeared to this world. We love him with all our heart!

    I think in your very position I would except going on with egg donation. If not, then have a look at ivf along with PGS, PGD testing. Yet better would be to have a nice consultation with RE and see his point.

    Unfortunately we are not experts here. But my heart goes to you. Nice people desiring kids mustn't suffer. God will definitely bless you one day with a lovely healthy tiny! :) Will be praying for you, hun XX

  • it maybe worth looking into the Ivf route and seeing if they could test your eggs to make sure that your baby hasnt got the condition . I would get as much advice from professionals before jumping with the idea of donor . Xx there are so many different ways of doing it X good luck

  • You could use PGS, pre genetic screening on your embies. It's worth asking a few clinics if they will pick up your condition from this test, if they can they can only choose the ones with out it to transfer.

    Good luck xxx

  • I'm sorry you're in this position. If you grow the baby it will feel like yours regardless of where the egg came from.

    That said, genetic screening is becoming commonplace with IVF for those that carry genetic conditions.

    I personally would look into genetic screening first and speak to a specialist first before jumping straight to a donor.

  • I think it's great you're considering alternatives and I don't think chancing the 50:50 and hoping the baby is healthy is that sensible even if your condition isn't that serious. Definitely look into genetic screening and hopefully they could also freeze some healthy embryos so you don't have to worry in the future of you wanted another child.

    Good luck!

  • Hi! You know you can always use ivf with donor’s egg but why not to try it with yours? You can do pgd testing on your collected embryos and it will show whether your embryos are okay or not. I know that in some clinics they include those in the contracts and also do chromosome screenings on 12 week of pregnancy to see if your baby is doing fine.

    it's up to you of course but I would try if I was you.

    good luck!

  • Hi! I think they can do a test before transferring embryos to check for inherited illness etc. It would be worth making an appointment at a fertility clinic and talking it through with them. Once you have all the information you can make an informed decision whether to try alone or have IVF with or without your eggs!

    Good luck and don't let yourself be bullied into what someone else things is the right decision! x

  • It's your choice with your husband don't let anyone pressure you to do anything you don't want take your time and go with what you're heart tells you xxxx

  • I am sorry you are facing challenges. I completely agree with prevous posters and recommend that you consider undergoing ivf with PGS NGS. I am not sure if all fertility clinics test 24 chromosomes, but I know ladies who have done it at Polish best fertility clinic. If you insurance doesn't cover preimplantation diagnosis, I recommend that you consider doing it at overseas clinics with good reputation.

  • I would talk to your OBG ..discuss genetic screening and quality of life for child affected. You clearly have a good life 😊 Don't let anyone Esp your mother in law call the shots. It's between you and your husband.

  • sorry of I sound to familiar, but maybe you're not in good relations with your MIL so she just doesn't want her grandchild to be genetically connected to you? I know that this is not my business but it seems to me that it's not only about your condition but about your relationships as well. are you officially married with your man? be careful, if she is so IN your relationships, she may tell your son what to do or not to do in many circumstances and situations. just be careful and so what you think is best.

    pds may be the best option for a start but you shall also mind that any preimplantation interference impacts the quality of the embryos. this is also a very important step to take

    I hope our thoughts and advice make it easier for you to decide

    take care of yourself and your family

    your personal relationships are above everything else

    children are happy only if their parents are happy and love each other


  • I’m very thankful for your support and ideas, friends

    Truly speaking, I know very little about ivf and egg donation. It was 100% idea of my mother in law. I knew just ivf is for those who can’t conceive but I think I can. I have a different problem, sadly]

    I had to learn what that pgs and pgd is. I didn’t even know it’s possible. It sounds as a great variant for us: they choose just healthy embryos and put it to my uterus. However, there are some questions I still have:

    How precise is this method? I mean they still can make a mistake

    How safe it is for embryos?

    Also, is hormonal stimulation safe for me ?

    What if they choose healthy embryos and I don’t get pregnant? We just lose the money and have to start everything from the beginning?

    Still confused, but so much new info, thank you friends

  • Hi, SheriWell! I'm sorry you've found yourself with the problem. :(

    My position was almost like yours. I'm 43 now, have 2 yo daughter Pam from previous ivf in Greece. Unexplained infertility and my ripe age didn't play on my side, so we decided to have another baby. This time my eggs turned out to be very bad. So they told there was no point in using them with ivf as it wouldn't bring results. Our doc suggested looking onto egg donation.

    We had read a lot before couples travel abroad with this matter.

    So we began looking for info and soon came across eviternity.org International patient coordinator. They offer free consultations in London with the patient coordinator. So we met with Josephine and she told us everything about the process. Moreover she's passing ivf herself at the moment, so is extremely understanding and supportive. After this we signed the papers with Biotexcom clinic in Ukraine. We booked 5 shots ivf with DE for 9900 euro. All meds and selective reduction included into the package price.

    Comparing with other places we were considering to be in this one is definitely worth looking at in case you choose this very option.

    Wish you all the best with your treatment!! XX

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