Follow up consultation after failed 3rd attempt

So ... I have poor quality eggs and hubby has poor quality sperm. The chances of it working are about 2% After 3 failed attempts with embryos not getting past day 3 and grading of embryos c/d they are saying we have a few options..... donor egg and donor sperm... donor embryo.... try my eggs and donor sperm (15-20%chance) try hubby sperm and donor eggs (15-20% chance) wish a blooming fairy would just make the decision for us 😢😢😢😢 anyone in the same position? Any advice please xxx

[Cinderella5]

I am not in your situation but I had issues with my eggs (had embryos arresting) at day 3) but although my hubby has sperm problems, very low count we got decent fertilisation and the problem was thought to be my eggs...very hard to hear and they werent entirely sure it wasnt his sperm too( just an educated guess as I was 38). I know what you mean about not knowing where to go from here, making a decision to move forward is hard....giving up on your own eggs or sperm or both is so hard. We decided to move to DE to give ourselves a much better success rate (ours being 5% with OE) and our embryos did considerably better (6 good quality blastocysts) and was over the moon with this, however we did have a chat about doing double donor. Hubby was struggling with that so we decided to go for this option first. Like I say its hard knowing what to do but all you can do is discuss your options, fears etc together and see what conclusion you come to. Does your clinic have a counsellor? Might be worth chatting it through with them. Good luck & hugs.xx

[Tugsgirl]

Not in a similar position and I can’t imagine where you’re even going to start on making decisions but good luck whatever you decide xx

[missbrightside]

Hello, I'm really sorry you are having to go through this. I can empathise with your position, having recently had our third fresh ICSI failure four weeks ago, with no embryos to freeze, so you certainly aren't alone. We too have been asked to consider donation but are struggling with the idea, so planning to take a break for a little while before deciding on our next steps. Personally I feel like I still need to come to terms with the idea of not having our own biological children, before we spend more money on treatments with a very low chance of success. It is a horrible grieving process, and everyone says it takes time, but you have to listen to your gut and make the right decision for you as a couple. No easy answers I'm afraid. I wish you all the best of luck and am here for you if you ever need a friendly ear who understands x

[Peony83]

Hi Boo7, I’m so sorry to hear of the decision that you need to make. Whilst my husbands sperm is ok, my eggs unfortunately matured faster than I have so we had to make the tough decision to go with donor eggs - seeing a counsellor recommended by the clinic certainly helped to talk through the pros and cons. I think the big thing for me was to get my head around the fact that (if successful) our baby would only ever have 1 mummy and that would be me, I’d have fed and grown it and it’s my blood going into the placenta - once I had appreciated that, our decision became a little easier. I don’t know if that helps - good luck and enjoy Christmas before making any decisions x

[fhiosat]

I'm due in 5 weeks with a donor egg and hubby's sperm after 3 failed IVF treatments. It's an emotional journey but I'm so glad we get to meet little babs soon. Take your time getting your head around it, talk to a counsellor, it took me a while to take everything in but so glad we decided to go for it.

[Hidden]

Hi. I’m in a slightly similar situation with two failed cycles. We’ve been advised to move on to double donor/ embryo domination for our best chance and to complicate things we are a mixed race couple so matching will be difficult. We have had some counselling which has been really helpful. We are going to have one last round by ourselves after making some major changes so we know we've tried everything before we move on. The average donor age isn’t getting older so we have some time to come to terms with things and have one last try.

[jengi]

Yes, I hear you loud and clear! It’s such a tough decision and I’ve spent the last 12 months navigating the conundrum in my head. If my current long protocol fails we are moving to donor eggs. If you want to private message me I’m happy to chat to you. It’s such a tough decision but I’m ready for this next stage! Xx

[Boo718]

I am in exactly the same position. Losing the will to live 🤦‍♀️

We are in the process of donor egg half hubbys sperm half donor sperm.

We have done donor eggs and hubbys sperm they were all gone or poor quality by day 5.

Hubby is now suggesting if his doesn’t work do we do my eggs and donor sperm. 🤷‍♀️ Wish someone would just make the decision for me. How are u getting on xxx