Scared and feel defeated already re IVF

[Rhea87]

Hi all, I know this sounds bad but I’m currently going through a IVF and I’m just so worried it’s not going to work for me. I am trying to remain positive but my mind is in a dark place and it’s taken over. I don’t know what I’m going to do if it fails or I have a miscarriage I just feel so drained. I am 34 with a low amh and husband has low sperm morphology been on stims for 4 days.

[Skittles11]

Hiya, it's a really hard head space to be in without a doubt. My best advice I can give (I also have low AMH by the way) is to manage personal expectations. This may not be reassuring in the way you would like but IVF often will not work first time however this does not mean it will not work ever! Naturally we want it to work first attempt in a straight forward way but I believe we need to plan for the worst and hope for the best. I have seen it work for many people. I think the most imoortant thing is the realisation that you will be okay no matter the outcome. Try not to compare too much to others. Their experiences will be different to yours. Make sure you have some little distractions during this period, catch up with a friend, spend some time in nature, go for some walks. Anything to give your mind a break from its woes. Counselling can be a good idea to enable you to talk to someone impartial. Good luck xx

[-noodles-]

Great advice here from Skittles11 ❤️

Have you ever tried meditation? It takes a little effort, but can be really effective in managing pervasive negative thoughts. I recommend Headspace but there are loads of YouTube guided meditations.

For me, IVF is a lottery. My sister has an autoimmune condition & was told she may never have a baby. She got pregnant first ICSI round & was naturally pregnant again within 10 months.

We have unexplained infertility - it’s taken 8 years, 4 rounds of IVF, countless alternative therapies to see first ever positive result a couple of weeks. It’s super early days, but I count myself so fortunate when I read some of the gruelling experiences from fellow warriors on this forum.

I’ll never understand why some face these cruel, painful & often lonely fertility journeys.

Please be gentle with yourself. It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious, frightened, resentful, sad - the list goes on!

Reach out to family / friends if you feel you can, or use this site for support.

Sending love & light ✨💕✨

[Habibi87]

I had many moments of darkness when I felt it would never work for us and really really struggled. My husband insisted I did some counselling to help me in the journey and attended the first few sessions with me for support. In my case it really helped me dealing with the grief, sadness and uncertainty that fertility issues cause. You are not alone and your feelings are totally understandable. Be kind to yourself. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes ❤️

[Minniemouse88]

Right here with you - also in the middle of my first cycle (day 10) and struggling with some bad headaches, wondering if all this will lead to anything and what I will do if it doesn't. I keep telling myself it could also be the massive hormonal changes going on too. I'm on the highest dose of FSH too, also 34 and with severe Male Factor as well as lower side AMH.

I'm trying to be kind to myself and work on the basics as hard as that feels.

Take good care and keep us updated xx

[Bunny29]

Hello,

I can totally relate to this, I struggled with my emotions through the process and currently going for a frozen cycle again.

I currently try to keep busy, then I have less of the dark alone moments where you play every scenario through your head. I took up yoga when in turn helped take/ relieve some of the stress built up. Help me clear my mind.

Meditation, which I thought when it was mentioned to me at the start, what a load of rubbish. I take this back whole heartedly. I used meditation and sleep app everyday during my first IVF. Breathing out all the negativity. Give it a try it is free and nothing to loose.

Also I drank Raspberry tea, cut out coffee, ate dates, pineapple and lots of nuts.

Listening to IVF pod casts helped too, as they speak honestly, frankly about all the different experiences and how they coped/ reacted. Both positive and negative so I had the full picture of all outcomes.

Honestly wishing you all the luck in the world and just keep talking and explaining how you’re feeling. 🥰

[Sanah7860]

hi, you need to stay positive and allow yourself to complete the treatment and take away all the negative thoughts. talk to your partner and tell him how your feeling, it will definitely help as he will also be going through similar emotions. Please don’t be too hard on yourself and take each day as it comes xx

[Rainbowretrieval]

good luck with everything Rhea. Age is on your side if nothing else. I’m 39 and fear it’s my fault I’ve left it too late. At least you can’t blame yourself. Feeling low as my first FET has failed. Try to see the positive they’ve identified some areas they can help you with, for us ‘unexplained’ infertility folk the not knowing why is so difficult to come to terms with.