It’s been a while since I’ve posted... I’ve no news... I’m not starting another cycle or anything! But! The one thing I promised myself when I was going through IVF treatment was that if it ever I was lucky enough to fall pregnant, or at the time we hung our IVF hats up and called it a day I would always give back. I would always write or share my stories... and that was always encouraged by you lovely lot!
And it begins! I’m going to write a blog for a company who fights for fairness in the workplace when it comes to maternity and pregnancy but I’m going to raise awareness about IVF and the workplace. I had amazing support at work and know loads of women who do. But I know some people who have struggled. I wonder whether you would mind sharing your stories with me? I’ll keep you anonymous of course. You could share in comments or share on direct message to me. I don’t need to know the company and it can be positive as well as frustrating examples!
Or perhaps you have a thought about what would make, or would have made, life easier for you at work during IVF?
I’m not sure where I’ll head with the blog. I can hardly write about injecting on trains, inserting pessaries during a flight or Mr Emu’s Yorkshire money saving tactics! But I’m going to be honest and write from the heart as ever.
Hope you’re all well. As ever thanks for your support.
Mrs Emu x
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Impressive! I didn’t tell my own manager until half way through last cycle. He called me sneaky but had a sneaky suspicion he said. Can you message me? x
Great idea. Best of luck! Likewise, I’ve been through 2 rounds of IVF without telling my manager. It has been a very isolating journey for me. There is very little support but I did ask to consolidate my hours and now work my contracted full time hours over 4 days instead of 5. This was mainly to empower me to be more efficient & handle my work loaf more effectively. I find it incredibly helpful to have a day to myself, to focus on the emotional me. I now use some of these days for counselling. Xx
Another hiding of treatment! Do you think your manager would have been more helpful if they’d known? Great use of time, really glad you condensed hours - wish I’d done that now!
I think my manager would have been but I was too scared to bring it up as I would have got emotional..... I know he wouldn’t have handled the tears! I still find it nearly impossible to speak about this journey without breaking down in tears. It’s why focusing on the emotional me is important. Xx
Hi Mrs Emu hope you are well! I think that there is discrepancies in work places as some have policies and others don't. I worked in Local Government and even they didn't have a policy, IVF wasn't covered in sickness nor was it covered under pregnancy. Although policy did cover adoption leave. When I left their employment, I did notify them of my IVF journey, I managed to not have to tell them and they genuinely seemed shocked that I had managed to work and keep it from them. Infertility should be taken more seriously by employers, it has a huge impact on mental health and other aspects of an individual's life. Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system as described by the WHO and any other longterm illnesses/disease would be covered under sickness policy. As infertility affects 1 in 7 people in the UK, it's not like it's an uncommon thing! I look forward to hearing about you blog, please keep us updated xx
I wish I’d read this a year ago Annie. So true. My employer doesn’t have an IVF policy & like you I checked the pregnancy one, no luck there either. We are a non departmental public body and I some how expected more. If you’ve moved to new employment, I hope they have a policy thats fit for the 21st century! Xx
I also expected more from them and feel that they have let people down (including myself). In the end I gave up work, and it felt good telling them about my IVF and their lack of policy. Doubt it changed much but I felt better. I worked in an office consisting of mainly woman, some 150 people. 1 in 7 of them is a lot of people xx
I couldn’t have said that better apart from my job is a yearly temp contract and as there isn’t a policy with local government then it’s very much blind leading the blind on how many times is acceptable to be off with “hospital appts”. My boss was helpful the twice I’ve tried but I’m unsure how he will cope when I mention a third try all be it a different year. As if we don’t get stressed with it all anyway... 😞
I work for a big bank, they actually have a documented IVF policy.
I’m allowed 2 weeks paid additional leave to allow me to have IVF. This is renewed every 12 months.
After that its up to me, I can take holidays, make back the time I’ve taken, do unpaid leave or take sick leave.
All very supportive and all very clear that I’m considered Pregnant from the day of the Egg transfer until the day of testing. Any sickness during that period won’t count towards any absence review points...so all in all pretty comprehensive.
But we have male infertility and so although my manager knows, no one else does really and so we’re both just inventing reasons as to why I’m late because of tests and scans. I do wonder how long I can keep up the lies when I start the injection for IVF soon!
I know how lucky I am to work there, the men aren’t left out either and they have recently increased paternity leave from 2 paid weeks to 4...and of course, use my story if you need to x
Wow this is brilliant. We need more companies like this. Wish I worked for a bank. I might try pluck up the courage to raise it with my company. Something needs to change. Xx
Hiya I hid my IVF treatment to my employer and my work mates (only girl knew) main reason for this is cause I really didn’t want anyone knowing it felt to personal and didn’t want like sympathy vote or everyone thinking every time I needed the time off for apps they would be wondering what app and was etc I also felt it would judged and also discriminated against. I even hid 2 of the 3 ectopic pregnancy we sadly had previous to treatment again same thing as ivf feeling wise didn’t want anyone knowing my business. No idea looking back how I managed to do this would go to hospital apps using holiday and tbh plan out lying 🤥 I hope your blog helps other it’s a wonderful you are doing abs I hope you ha e your miracle baby 👶 xx
I didn’t want the sympathy vote either on my first round! Oooo thanks for reminding me! Would you mind if I used your story if needed? Ava is gorgeous! x
My work place allowed me time off to go to a my appointments and allowed me 5 days leave not out of my annual leave but compassionate leave to rest after my transfer. I used this on all 3 of my IVF goes. I work for the public sector. They were amazing. My line manager was really good and supportive. In fact I even took time away to attend accupuntre appointments. X
I have a positive story too. I work for a large manufacturing organisation and I have to say I've been supported a lot with time off for scans and appointments, been allowed to work from home. Working in HR I made sure that I knew what I was entitled to and legally your classed as being pregnant once the embryo transfer is done so none of your absences should go against you. I was supported loads by occupational health which prob annoyed my manager having to reduce my working days and allowing me to work from home later on in my pregnancy.
This cycle I've luckily been able to plan scans ony days off. The first week after ET I was allowed to work from home but they expected me in the second week.
Oooo a HR person! Do you have a policy on IVF or is it wrapped in your maternity policy? Thanks for sharing! Would you mind if I used your story if needed? x
Good luck and I am sure there will lots of people willing to share their experiences. As you already know I've only just started my first cycle but happy to share my experiences after.
No I haven't as I just started a new role and report to the HR Director who isn't best known for her compassion and flexibility. Have just told them I have a minor procedure coming up and will need a couple of pre-op tests. Trying my best to make sure scans are around lunchtime etc to avoid too much disruption. Have also taken a few half days holiday as this relieved some of the anxiety of having to say I was going for another appointment. Bit of give and take seems fair 😉 it takes about 40 mins (sometimes more) to get to my clinic as well which isn't ideal 🙈
Hope that helps x x x
I work in a GP surgery and my practice manager was lovely about it and said I would be paid for any time off and I could have as much time as I wanted. She has unfortunately left now so I don’t think I would have the same treatment if I was going through it now for the first time unfortunately. I was very relieved about it all as I was dreading telling them x
I for one cannot wait to read your blog, you always have an amazing way with words! I will message you with my experience once little one is fed and in bed (who knows what time that might be 🤣) xxx
Having gone through IVF while working for 2 different employers my experiences have been varied. Neither had a policy in place (one local government and one private sector). Local government was generally more relaxed regarding absence for any reason and was managed differently depending on your line manager. Mine was a lovely bloke who was terrified of “women’s issues” and never questioned anything.
My most recent job, from which I am now on maternity leave following a successful donor egg cycle, was a completely different story. I felt like I couldn’t discuss the IVF with my line manager at all as the first thing that would come to her mind was questioning my commitment to my job. I took holiday for all my appointments and scheduled anything I could out of working hours. One of my colleagues actually thought I was interviewing elsewhere as I was in and out of the office on half days so often. Many of my friends and family have found my predicament odd given that I work in HR. I think everyone assumes HR departments will be better equipped to deal with people’s circumstances, but it’s simply not the case.
Absolutely. Let me know if you need anymore details. x
Hi, we started our IVF journey about a year ago. My manager knew from the start after I cried in her office and told her we needed IVF. We already have a daughter so I think it came as a big surprise to her. She told me I was a valued employee and I could have whatever time I needed and she has been great. She allowed me to move shifts about, avoid nights and take annual leave at short notice. When I was off sick for 6 weeks last year after my mmc she passed it all as pregnancy related so I have no official sickness on my record. Most of my colleagues now know we are having IVF after the time off following my mmc but I don’t tell them any dates etc. X
I have gone through 2 IVF cycles and no one knows at work. I couldn't bring myself to share with my former manager, I always thought he was too young and immature to handle it plus the whole company will know my story as soon as he knows. Also at my current place of work, it is clearly written in the company policy/handbook that time off was not allowed for infertility treatments. Although I am now going through my 3rd IVF cycle and I have a new manager who is more mature and I think will handle the news okay, I still can't bring myself to tell him.
I am however changing jobs in the middle of this cycle and I already feel like I'll be comfortable to share with my new colleagues (they seemed like the type that could handle such) or maybe I won't, time will tell.
Hey! She’s good. Having a little snore on me as I reply. It’s unbelievable how many people don’t tell! But an absolute disgrace the policy says time off isn’t allowed! Grrr! Would you mind if I used your story if needed? x
Hi emu2016. I've had 2 fresh cycles of ivf, one last march/April and one this April. I was so scared to go to tell my manager- I work in a SEN school, but I thought honesty was the best policy so went with my letter and appointments to her and explained I didn't want to be talk of the staff room and that I only want the people in my class to know. I explained there would be a lot of appointments and I would take unpaid leave for them all, and she shut me down straight away and said under no circumstances will I take them unpaid, as people who can get pregnant naturally get time off for all their appointments and get paid for it, so why on earth should I not get paid for my appointments just because I need a little help (this is when I burst out crying and she cried). I never thought of her as an approachable person, but she was so understanding about it all, even told me if it got too much to go to my drs and get signed off sick.
Unfortunately both ended up negative, and my manager has now left and we have a new one, I'm unsure how this one will be if we have a frozen cycle.
Please feel free to use my story. There was a policy in place, ahe did check it, I'm not sure if it was specifically for ivf or appointments, but it said to the descresion of management, and she said, well that's it you will be paid for all appointments. Xx
Over the past 5 years I've hid 4 miscarriages, 3 fresh ivf cycles and 2 FETs from my employers and now, finding myself in early pregnancy, am facing the prospect of hiding this from my current employer for as long as possible.
My ivf clinic appointments were by far the easiest to hide as most of them could be scheduled early in the morning before work and I had some transfers on a Saturday morning. The miscarriages were much harder, due to the need for repeat scans and wanting to have management ASAP after they were confirmed. My first miscarriage started when I was working in a city 40 miles from home, I had absolutely no idea what I was in for, so continued to go to work even with heavy bleeding. After that I deliberately made the decision to work as close as possible to home and this has helped with ivf and hospital appointments..
All my employers have been men, small companies with less than 10 employees, no policies in place, no maternity benefits other than the minimum, so it's not something I have ever considered discussing with them. To be honest there's no way I want to tell anyone (including family) until as late as possible, probably because I'm anxious that this will end in miscarriage too and there's no way I can face people at work if that happens.
Because of my past history of losses it's looking like I'll need more appointments than usual over the next few months, if everything carries on successfully. I'm rapidly running out of excuses for coming into work a bit late or suddenly having to take half a days leave. I'm sure with all the furtive phone calls too that they are already suspicious.
Oh goodness. This made me so sad to read. I’m crossing everything that this is your time and everything again that when you do tell your employer they are incredibly supportive! Thank you so much for sharing. x
This is defiantly a subject that a lot of employers need a bit of education on! 🙄
Our first cycle, my then employer was awful and really stressed me out. The manager wouldn’t allow me time off as i ‘was choosing to do it’ - really?? Believe me if their was a choice its not one many would choose😂. When i finally got leave agreed, she hounded me throughout it with emails and calls to my personal phone, my husband took it off me in the end. She added a lot of stress and the best of it was she had been through it herself.
Thankfully, once we got to our second round the company had been bought by a larger group who had a policy on fertility treatment, they allowed you to have up to a week off when you needed it and my current boss is awesome! There is nothing i cant tel him about it although I spare him the gory details. Can honestly say that taking the worry away about work makes a huge difference to your mindset when going through a cycle.
I hope your blog helps raise awareness around this, can you post a link so we can read your article when youce done it x
Thanks for sharing your story. And for choosing to have IVF. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 it’s just ridiculous that there isn’t a common practice or high level of awareness and sensitivity on this subject!
I work for a large corporate, and luckily for me because the business needed to cut costs, allowed most of its employees to work from home.
I only had to go into the office 2-3 days a week, and because nobody monitored me closely I could fit in doctor's appointments. On occassions I would say - dentist appointment.
Now I have a new manager who likes everybody to be present in the office. Not sure what I will do, especially I am thinking of doing DE in Alicante Spain.
Emu's blog is long overdue, nobody speaks about the issues. We have a woman PM, and lots of women in Parlament. However we do not put enough pressure on anybody to change the legal status quo. We are miles away from where we should be in 21st century.
Maybe we should all start writing to our local MP? We agree on the forum what could go into the letter and organise a campain? And we make a list of all those MPs who came back with positive answers and take the battle to the next legislative level to give more rights and support to those with fertility issues, women and men?
Are there any female lawers on the forum to guide us on the way to change the UK laws?
And another battle worth taking to change the status quo is with insurance companies, whose policies don't include fertility at all.
Any experience or suggestions?
Hi! It is great what you are doing many thanks!!!
I have a positive story. I work for a small biotech company (start Up from a university) so they don't have any policy, but I have just always felt like dealing with people, not with a business. When I was offered the job I was suppossed to start at the same time my first IVF cycle. I didn't know what to do and just decided to be honest: replied to HR saying I wanted to take the job but that I had the IVF, asking for discretion and to please just tell the CEO. She replied thanking me for a honesty and reassuring me. Then she spoke to the CEO and came back to me: the offer was still there, I could take days off if needed and, considering this, they were going to improve the maternity policy in the company. I felt that was the way of really telling me they wanted me and that the IVF was not a handicap. It was my S
signal to accept the job and am so glad I did!
I never spoke with them about this again...and didn't get pregnant. But when months later I decided to do a second cycle, I spoke to my line manager directly: she said that if I wanted to be a mother, that was more important that anything. Shared with me her experience (no fertility treatments but first pregnancy miscarried and then 7 years to get pregnant of her daughter). I got all the support and discretion from her. And know, with a threatened miscarriage, I told her and our boss by email: they said take It as easy as you need It, stay at home when you need to, we just hope It goes fine.
As I said, I always felt like I was dealing with understanding and supportive people, It never felt like a corporative thing, and I am really greatful to them.
What a brilliant idea. I work for a large corporate. The benefits they offer for mat leave and shared parental leave are fantastic - men can take the same as women - (up to 6 months paid leave). Unfortunately they fall down slightly when it comes to IVF. They don't have a policy but there is mention of absence for fertility treatment in our absence policy. Can't remember what it says exactly but I remember thinking it was a bit rubbish lol. Think it basically says it's all manager discretion and no paid time off is stipulated.
However,luckily my manager (and the other colleague in the team) are fantastic. They've been so supportive and I swear that my boss has consciously made work less stressful for me ever since I told her,e.g. additional weekly catch ups,always checking how I am,always being conscious of not giving me too much/too much stress whilst not taking everything off me/still pushing my outside my comfort zone. I was slightly stressed recently trying to fit in various meetings plus get to the hosp for a CD2-5 blood test and she was very firm that work does not matter-i must get to the hosp.
We are hopefully starting IVF in the next couple of months. I told my boss and team mate about it all roughly July last year. We were going through a hard time and the pressure of keeping it in and acting like all was normal got too much. To date I've had 1.5 days off to help with the mental side of dealing with it all,which was around August last year.
In the dept I work in we all work "smartly" and are encouraged to do so so I am lucky that I can work from home whenever needed and do about 1 day a week.
Wishing so much luck to us all whenever we are in our journeys
Hi emu2016. Hope you and your little family are well. I kept quite through investigations, 3 oui and 1st round of off, but came clean after miscarriage as I was finding it too much. They were really supportive, but my boss has had mental health issues so that helped them understand to a degree.
I would be really interested to follow the blog as I am due back from maternity leave and am tasked with doing the policies as we don't have one for ivf and definitely want to rectify this! X
I work for a large professional services firm. I chose to tell them about my IVF during my fresh cycle but kept it quiet during my frozen cycles. The main reason I chose to tell them is that I work on projects and some are based away from home so I knew that when I needed loads of scans during my fresh cycle I would need them to be flexible with me to allow me to work from my home office on those days. Plus the not knowing when egg collection was until a couple of days before made it too difficult to sort my diary out. I have to say that they were amazing and really supportive. I tried to schedule my appointments for first thing on a morning and then worked flexibly around the appointments. I was on a project where the client was based at the other side of the country to me but we made it so that the 2 weeks of injections/egg collection I could work from the office and didn’t need to visit client site. They were also really good about me changing the 2 weeks I had booked off as holiday for the 2ww at the last minute (my period messed my cycle up and I had to delay a week from the planned cycle). There is a section in our special leave policy about IVF treatment and it says I can work flexibly around appointments and would have been allowed to take up to 2 weeks off had I needed, but decided to use annual leave instead as that seemed fairer to me.
I didn’t tell them about my 3 FET cycles, but that’s because I only had a couple of appointments for them and I knew in advance when they were so I was able to plan my diary around them without the extra support from work.
Fantastic idea about the blog. I do think you should include injecting on trains as that is a part of how you juggled your work commitments with your IVF and I think it’s important for ladies to see that it can be done. You were an inspiration to many on here whilst you went through your treatment and I hope your blog continues that for those ladies who are newer to this and weren’t around at the time you went through it all.
oh wow I can't wait to read your blog! Hope your little family is doing well.
For me, I am very fortunate to work in a big corporate company with good sickness and leave policies, and they offer the flexibility to work from home when needed. For me, I want to keep the journey quiet as I am not sure I could cope with people gossiping about me and being asked for updates from well meaning colleagues.
My boss is currently piling on the work, and I have such a busy few months ahead, just at a time we're considering clinics and the donor egg route. In a way it is great to have the distraction of work, but I know I will not be performing at 100%, so I feel guilty for that. It is not my bosses fault that I have a high workload, she doesn't know. I am thinking I may eventually need to explain to her, just so that if she see's I am struggling to keep up, she knows it is not because I am not good at my job, it is just I have a lot going on in my head.
The company have a very high awareness of mental health, so the other week when I was told about my low AMH and low change of successful IVF with my own eggs, I was devastated, and took a few days off to basically cry on the sofa, and then worked from home a couple of days. No questions were asked at work and my team picked up the urgent tasks in my absence.
I know I am very lucky. For me it is wanting to keep the balance between keeping my personal life private and remaining professional and productive at work. xx
I think it's fantastic that you are starting a blog and speaking out about this.
I'm a DC in the police and have given 17 years of my life to the job. I've worked shifts all these years often doing 15 hour shifts and working with a few hours sleep inbetween. Ive given them my all since I was 20 years old and have missed out on so much time with family and friends. At the age of 36 and newly married I have found myself in the hell of ivf, i truly didn't expect this. I have worked through 2 failed iui's , one cancelled ivf , which was worse and now on my second ivf which again is looking like another failure.
The police force I am in have no ivf policy. I have known police women who have had to resign in order to continue treatment. I simply can not do my job and deal with ivf at the same time. If it wasn't for my supportive line manager and one supportive person in occupational health I would also have had to resign. We are self funding so I really need my job plus it's all I've ever known.
I have been told by hr that they have no plans for an ivf policy and if I'm not sick then I shouldn't be going sick. I cant even take AL as we have a one person off at a time rule per team. They said I could take an hour for tests ect, it takes me 2 hours door to door to get to the hospital in London.
The lack of support in the police for individuals struggling to conceive has been truly devastating.
I've had a variety from my work, I've been told I'm not covered under pregnancy policies or adoption policies so is open to interpretation as to what I'm entitled to. Some personnel tell me I have to take leave for my hospital appts and some say I'm allowed to go to them. Some bosses are very supportive and others think I'm ruining my career by wanting to have kids. Basically I'm now leaving so dont care anymore about their opinions 😂
I know 😫. Not just for that - I was signed off for 3 weeks after my first cycle failed because I was really struggling. Then taking those 2 days off in my next 2ww triggered the disciplinary procedure.
Prior to starting ivf I hadn’t taken a day off sick in well over 12 months, so I’ve got to admit I’m pretty irked about it.
Bloody hell. Do you want me to come to your mtg?! If you’d not have taken those two days off as sick but as ivf days or something it would have triggered probably. Just support people going through ivf. It isn’t a choice! As if we need this stress on top! x
I work for NHS and my trusts policy for treatment is half special leave and half annual leave although my manager just told me to put in a sick line which is what I did for 2ww. I would have probably not have told anyone but I work in a psych unit and there is a risk of aggression and violence. Pregnant employees are put on a restricted duties and are allocated low risk patients. There is no waiting until the 12 week point for pregnant people in my job! Rather than tell the entire team about my IVF I told my manager who took me out of numbers,let me work flexi to update care plans so I didn’t have to worry about appointments clashing with shifts. She sent me home one day too following an appointment where they were querying severe OHSS and put it down as ‘special leave’ as I was sobbing. I know I’ve been very lucky. xx
I work for the nhs and it’s manager’s discretion so I’m not allowed to use special leave for ivf. I’m allowed to use sick leave for medical procedures only - so egg collection and embryo transfer - but appointments, scans, the 2ww, etc etc has to come out of my annual leave. X
I'm NHS too and I'm exactly the same as Scarlett. When I phoned HR they told me I could switch shifts so I therefore wasn't allowed to take it as special leave. Unfortunately, I can't switch shifts the department I work in is only open 9-5 mon-fri. When I told them that I was told then I had to take annual leave , my manager managed to intervene on my behalf and has told me she would give me egg collection and transfer off but scan and bloods I have to use time.
Have you got a title for the blog yet?? Its such a worthwhile area to raise awareness of!
Same here. The managers discretion part really bugs me. I was chatting to a lady in my department (but with a different line manager) and we were both given completely different arrangements in terms of time off for appointments. I guess a lot of it depends on the managers knowledge or experience of fertility treatment which doesn’t seem fair x
Managers discretion is so hit and miss! I recently posted a request on my Facebook and quite a few ladies have come forward. How on Earth there isn’t a standard way of supporting those going through IVF when it effects so many is beyond me! No title yet. But I’ll post it here don’t worry!
Best of luck with the blog ! people certainly need to speak out more about this
I didnt tell my employers about any of my treatments (had about 10 rounds of embryo batching due to low ovarian reserve). I'm on an annual contract and I considered that it may not get renewed if I disclosed my IVF treatments so I did not tell my boss. I don't work full time (only 3-4 days a week) which has helped a lot in terms of daily blood tests and I just took leave when I had to wait around at my clinic for twice daily blood tests.
I'd say it's been really hard not being open with work especially as I do a lot of fieldwork and being late in due to travelling into London for blood tests doesn't make it very easy and there's only so many times I can say I've got a Doctors appointment.
But I prefer it in a way as going into work for me is very separate to the ivf then and I can feel normal again when I get into work.
If I had a permanent job I would rather be open and tell my boss.
I’ve had cycles when I’ve not disclosed anything too until a certain point. Sometimes it’s just easier! x
Hi emu2016 I didn't have a good experience. I work in health care and I had got a medical letter to say I couldn't work extra hours or work nights due to medical investigations. My line manager kinda pressed me to tell her what was going on with me. I reluctantly felt I had to tell her we were getting ivf. She then blabbed to another staff member who questioned me about ivf and came out with comments" like don't you think your a bit over it" it's not normal" i'm 38 and not over it.... I got stressed and paranoid thinking who else knows and felt uncomfortable, frustrated. Felt more sensitive to pregnancy related chats which I felt where more emphasised. I just felt villated by a nasty cow of a manager who then told me she couldn't support me. She clearly doesn't take confidentiality seriously and obviously doesn't care for mental health or impact of her breaching my personal information. Horrible feeling and I have now left this position and hope the next place is better.
What a great thing to be able to blog about the highs and lows, I worked for a large UK business they had an IVF policy which allowed 5 days leave, which I had allocated to the days post transfer. Unfortunately my line manager did not have the respect to allow me to use them and called me in on the first day - maybe a lack of education / understanding on the emotional and physical toll on you and your body doesn’t allow business / Line Mangers to make informed had those days been treated like any other pre booked absence it would have made a big difference, on the positive side I never once worried about attending any medical appointments i was always made to feel it was okay to attend any appointment I had inline with the businesses policy regarding all medical appointments they where never segregated due to IVF,
Thanks lala... the five days leave thing for appointments has really start to wind me up. I don’t think it should be phrased like this. Because it should say explicitly what it is for when educating line managers. 1. You shouldn’t have to use them for appointments and 2. Technically when PUPO you are just that. So are protected by being pregnant.
If 5 days are for 2ww then just say that to help everyone! Then not as many difficult conversations! x
Great news about the blog. I was a teacher during my first cycle. This was extremely stressful as teachers are not expected to take time off during term time. They must survive and try and cope with any illness or health problem and stock pile any concerns for their GP until half term (although this is not written anywhere it is all part of the work culture in a lot of schools).
At first I tried to get all the appointments during half terms like a good teacher, however this would have drawn out the process significantly longer. I therefore decided to bite the bullet and tell my headteacher about our situation. She was surprisingly more supportive than I thought about taking time off.
I was then able to take appointments during term time. Whilst this sounds ideal it was not without difficulties. I worked in a challenging school with poor funding. I was alone in a room with 28 children all day. 3 children have diagnosis of ASD and 5 having behavioural issues. It was very stressful and upsetting if there was conflict as some of these children would get very physical with each other, the furniture and me! The transfer was the worst part as some children would even throw chairs and flip tables. I would frequently have to step in to stop children who were having a ‘difficult moment’ from hurting others which meant I became the target instead. I had such high stress levels (in addition to bruises!) during this time which I’m sure contributed to it not working. I know this says a lot more about the school funding crisis but I believe this really effected our chances.
I handed in my notice and am completing my second and probably final cycle if IVF and ICSI whilst I’m free to relax. I felt unable to continue the process whilst in that work environment without additional adult support. We are currently living off hard earned life savings and will need to start new employment soon but currently I am very happy and more relaxed with being off work so fingers crossed it is our time. It’s a shame I have had to sacrifice my career (at least for now) but at the moment this is my priority and this is now our best chance.
Trigger shot done last night and egg collection is tomorrow! Good luck with the blog you will be fab! Xx
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