Thank you all for being here, trying to help, being supportive š Many times I found comfort here. I knew I was not alone.
Soā¦.this is what was happeningā¦.1st scan was very early - 6th week, no heartbeat, irregular shape of the yolk sac and embryoā¦ the next scan at 7th week, slow heartbeatā¦not optimistic. 8th week scan was three days ago. There was no heartbeatā¦poor embryo stopped growingš„ŗ
Regarding the symptomsā¦.actually, I didnāt have many since the beginning (this is what I didnāt like). However, boobs started to be little bit sore around week 7ā¦also I was bloated, my stomach looked as it was growing. Sometimes I had hot flashes and heartburn in the eveningsā¦I even started believe those are good signs. But, unfortunately it meant nothingā¦
I will just say that HOPE is the most beautiful and the most terrifying thing at the same time. I desperately needed doctors to give some explanation, decision, diagnosis, whateverā¦but instead of that, all I was hearing is - donāt lose hope, there is still hope, letās waitā¦it is so, so hard.I isolated from so many friends, I even hung up phone to my best friend when she told me not to lose hope and not to give up!
At the end I felt relief as they scheduled surgical termination. I didnāt even cry much. Just a little bit, at totally unexpected moments.
I canāt cry. But I feel extremely sad, broken in pieces. Smashed. Hardly breathe.
After this, I know nothingā¦except we will try again. Soon.š„ŗš
Written by
Pigi
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Hi Pigi, there are no words. I am just so sorry to read about your most recent loss. You have been through so much already with your previous losses and failed IVF cycles. My heart truly goes out to you. Hope is an odd one...it keeps us going but at times we do wonder. Please take extra care of yourself over the next few days and weeks. You will be okay and the ladies on this forum will try to support you as best we can. You are not alone. Thinking of you todayšš¼ x
Thank you ClaireB24ā¤ļø Sending Kisses and hugs. We need some time to heal and go on againā¤ļøš All of us at this forum are so braveā¦I donāt know where our limits areā¦
So sorry to read this, sending you big hugs. This happened to me last year, went for scan at 8weeks with heartbeat but growth only measuring 6weeks. Waited 2weeks for hearbeat to stop and then tried medical route but ended up needing surgical measures. One day at a time, take care of yourselfā¤ā¤ā¤
Hi Pigi,firstly i wanna say am so so sorry for your loss.I can totally relate and am with you,I was once there more than once and i don't know how i got through it but i did.I have finally found enough strength to start again after 4 years.You will get through it too.
Oh, thank you dear Bule84. We somehow find strength for another try and I donāt know how we manage through all the sadness and pain. I was thinking, many women finally succeeded, so we will. Not giving up is the only way. Iām wishing you with all my heart to be happy this time and to succeed!!! ššš
I am so so sorry for your loss. Life can be so cruel. I know everyone handles things differently but I went through very similar in November. The tears eventually did come for meā¦and I just let them keep coming. You need to allow yourself to grieve, although maybe you are all cried out!
What I will say is that you will get through this horrific timeā¦cling to your support and take it day by day.
Dear SianieShorts thank you for your kind words. ā¤ļø Iāll try day by day until our next attempt. We have 2 frozen embryos left. One lady wrote stg like this āwith every ivf we jump out of a cliff and with each failure we break all our bones and then we get up, heal and we repeatā¦until we make itā She put it betterā¦I canāt findā¦but you get the point. I feel like th need to heal fastā¦Iām 43, in May will be 44. That is what Iām afraid the most. More than braking my bones againā¦We are all so brave. We deserve to be happy. It will come. Sending you love and hugsā¤ļøš
Dear AMJean, thank you! We are all sooo brave, there are no words!!!š Iām glad youāre doing great! We are similar age, it brings me hope! Sending you love and hugsššš
So sorry tobread this. My heart goes out to you. There are no words and this whole journey can really show its ugly head at the best of times. Yet we hold onto Hope because that's all we have to keep us going. Look after yourself š
So sorry Pigi! I donāt know what to say! Hope is a double edged sword. You donāt want to give into it too much as you know everything can change in a flash and things can be taken away just as quick. I cried my eyes out when I found out I had an ectopic pregnancy but when I was in hospital I had no tears, I went completely numb and just wanted it over, a way of protecting myself.
Wishing you strength during this time to heal and courage if you want to try again xx
Thank you dear BettyBeš. Yes, I think, I was relieved when I went to hospitalā¦I just wanted this to be over. I will go day by day. Sadness will stayā¦but strength will be back soon. We will try again. Sending you love and hugsā¤ļø
Iām so so sorry to read this š¢ the way you have written this is so raw and so true you sound like an incredible person to me, take care of yourself just now and I wish you all the luck in the future xxx
Thank you Twiglet. I was reading lots of storiesā¦it helped me cause I often felt so lonely. I couldnāt go so much into details even with our closest family and friends. This community is the biggest support. Lot of genuine and true stories, similar to oursā¦Iām wishing you all the best and sending you love&kissesš
Hi! I am so sorry you've had to go through thisšMust be so hard, terrifying actually. You just need to give yourself some time and then when you feel ready maybe try again. Life it is so unfair sometimes! Sending hugs xxx
Dear Georgya, thank youš Iām so broken, but I hope I will find strength to start the journey again soon. Iām so afraid of my ageā¦Iāll be 44 soon. Also, Iām so disappointed that even though we made such a tough decision to go with a donor eggs, we still struggle. I remember doctors were saying, āoh youāll see, it is much easier, go for a donor, this is a solution!ā And nowā¦actually they are just saying, āit happensā¦bad luckā¦donāt give upā . Of course, weāre not giving up, but, it is much harder than I ever imagined. I just wasnāt prepared for thisā¦I thought it was the hardest to admit to yourself that you need a donor. But itās not the hardest. We all need so much strength through this. Thanks once again. Sending you hugs and love š wishing you the bestā¤ļø
Dear Pigi, we've had to use a sperm donor from the beginning. So hard to accept, so many thoughts, so many questions unanswered. We've done 2 Ivf with 1 donor with no positive result. Then we decided to change it and it worked just for a little bit and ended in a miscarriagešIvf nr 4 it is our last one because I don't think my body can take anymore. I do feel sometimes that Ivf it is about money and the dr encourage you to keep going. It is a very hard journey. Sending hugs xxx
I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's so hard and no words can bring you the comfort you so desperately need and no-one can tell you what the future holds and it's scary and lonely.
It really brought me back to 6 years ago when I went through something very similar. Worrying about the lack of symptoms, I remember thumping my boobs hoping they'd ache. I felt in my gut that something wasn't right and everyone tried to reassure me but they booked me in for a scan 2 days early when I was 6+5 and there was no heartbeat and the sac was an irregular shape. My husband bless him was still optimistic but I just knew.
Back again at 7+5 and a mmc was confirmed. I hoped I'd miscarry naturally so i wouldn't have to face any decisions but 2 weeks later and nothing was happening so I was booked in for a D&C but I didn't get it til I was 11+1 as they kept scanning me as the sac was continuing to grow. Sometimes I told myself they might be wrong or they wouldn't keep scanning me, I tortured myself continuing to do pregnancy tests and the clearblue was at 3+ weeks and stayed there. Hope. But that Hope almost shattered me. By the end of it I was so glad to have the surgery.
IVF is so painful and gruelling, getting the bfp I thought I'd made it but really my journey had barely started. My next IVF I got no eggs. And I honestly couldn't face anymore after that. I thought I'd never be a mother and that was fucking hard. It's still painful to think back on and reading your post I really felt your pain and it seemed I was right back 6 years ago.
But I found hope again and I did get my miracle after 8 long painful years but I remember the pain like it was yesterday and I just wanted to let you know that I know its painful, and the future is daunting and its lonely but so many of us have been there or are going through the same thing. Just sending you love, strength and a hand hold ā¤
Dear Liberty, Oh how much your story means to me! Thank you for finding time to writeā¦it means a lot! Iām trying to get better. Some days it is so hard. But your success is what brings back the hope. Thank youā¤ļø
Dear Pigi, there are no words to make you feel any better but I will try with Iām am so so sorry that youāve had to go through all of this. I do wonder sometimes how we pick ourselves up after such huge gut wrenching sadness and disappointment but eventually we do each in our own time. Be kind to yourself and just know deep down somewhere in your soul you will be okay. Remain forever hopeful that things will improve. Take care lovely x
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
*Sensitive* 8 week scan updateā¤ā¤
ā ļø warning sensitive post ( 20 week scan update) 
20 week scan update *Sensitive post*
Sad update š¢ 6.4 weeks - empty sac š
**Sensitive post** Update 12 week scan 
