New job at same time as ivf (newbie) -- does life need to stop for a bit?

[Minniemouse88]

Hi all,

Just looking for experiences of juggling other life events with first ivf cycle.

We've been given a provisional date to start our first cycle in December. At the same time, I may (pending a successful interview) be looking to start a new job. I don't know if this is taking too much on at once?

I've read that you shouldn't put your life on hold and I am quite stressed and unhappy in my current job, however, starting new job would also be stressful. I'm also toying with whether I should be honest about my IVF at interview or afterwards.

FYI ...I work in the NHS, so you think they'd be understanding but I could understand if they had reservations about employing someone who may then need time off (for treatment or all being well, maternity leave)

Any thoughts or similar experiences to share would be great.

Thank you all xxx

[DG2022]

hi there. Similar situation and nhs worker. After 3 rounds and 3 miscarriages I’m going for a new job. Don’t put your life on hold and definitely don’t tell them at interview. I’ve told my current manager about ivf and feel that is has been a barrier to promotion. Good luck with your first round x

[Purple276]

Hey, I'd go for it! Infertility sucks so why not at least get yourself in a job that you enjoy!

In seriousness I had a similar decision in February and yes its a bit harder doing IVF if managers dont know how amazing you are yet as you have to attend appointments or do injections around work but it is helpful to have a nice new work distraction.

I definitely wouldnt tell them at interview either.

Good luck with the interview and your first round 😊

[Countrychic]

I had just started a new job when I did my first round of IVF and didn’t tell my new boss. I am lucky and have flexible working so was able to take time off for appointments. I did two rounds and only told my boss after my third transfer which was in March 2020 when Covid and lockdown was approaching fast. The guidance was for pregnant women to stay at home. I told her and she agreed to me working from home until I found out one way or the other. Definitely don’t put your life on hold. Although the IVF journey is incredibly tough, it is manageable even when starting a new job. I personally found having a positive change in my life refreshing after being in the same job for years and struggling to get pregnant/going through all the tests etc xxx

[Missl73]

I started a new job at the same time as IVF and although it’s manageable it is stressful especially if it’s difficult to balance time off needed for appointments, scans, blood tests etc when you’ve only jus started. I worked for a big “nasty” corporate though and they just so happened to make me redundant when I got pregnant from that cycle…

If it’s NHS and you already work within the NHS I’d try and find out what the policy is around IVF and appointments so you’re prepared. I found the emotional toil of IVF very draining x

[Tamaa]

Hi. I work in the NHS as well and sadly there's no policy in place as of yet for IVF. When I had to do my transfer I told my line manager. She was supportive but at the same time indicated how this could not work in the long time and suggested options like part time work.

I hope you find your way around. 💐

[Twiglet2]

I would defo say go for the new job this can be a long and impatient process and it only makes it more frustrating when we put other things on hold for it 🤗 obviously be kind to yourself and don’t put too much pressure on you but I’ve had 2 new jobs during the process and not went for others I would defo say regret was worse than the busy times, if anything it kept my mind occupied on other things than IVF! Xx

[Sososoxx]

I can’t recommend going ahead with both enough. I was unhappy in my job and changed after 2 egg collections and 4 failed transfers. I’m now in a new job and one month in, I’m going through my latest round. I hope that being in a happier place will make the difference and ultimately, this is my priority as I’m sure it’s yours so do what you can to make yourself happy in the process xx

[Minniemouse88]

Thank you so much all you lovely experienced ladies. You've definitely helped my confidence going forward. I have taken some time to plot out possible egg collection and transfer dates so I can plan in a bit of leave and think about negotiating a start date.

As you've all said, it is a long journey and it's important to focus on making positive steps in other areas of your life.

I was really surprised that my NHS organisation doesn't have an IVF policy. I appreciate it's not always possible to accommodate time off but it's not as though any of us choose to have these extra hurdles!

Anyway, onwards and upwards. Thank you again for sharing your wisdom. I wish you all happy futures