Pls help me to make a decision for the next FET!

[Seyedeh]

Good afternoon to u all ,strong woman and my beautiful muma to be.

Like most of you,Im in difficult situation.I had my first frozen transfer on July and was positive for few days and then early miscarriage end of July on my week 4 .

It was a quite shock as I thought it definitely works.my little embryo was 4AA and our reason to do a treatment was sperm issue which led us do Icsi freeze all. I trusted my body and my embryo alot to the point I planed my baby shower (silly me)Now after two weeks I wake up from the shock of being 1st time pregnant /miscarrag .

I Dont know what to do ?!I have few more embryos mixed qualities but afraid of having them transfered .keep thinking what if I also have issue like “immune” or something and if I transfer them cause another failure and risk to my presiouse embryos .I like to do immune and investigation on myself. However my clinic is saying dont do immune test based on one failure it could happen to anyone,can just be a bad luck or chromosomal issue also they don’t believe much on immune anyway.

I like to know your opinions my friends.Im quite independent and spiritual but this time i cant even trust my gut and signs as apparently last time I misread every signs ! I was sure Ill be mum of rainbow but last only few days!Cant lie I really enjoyed my days with my Dimond embryo worth having it even for 5 days .Im greatful for that.

[Cinderella5]

I'm so sorry for your loss, what a dreadful time it is to get a positive test then have it taken away....I understand as I've had this too. I actually agree with your clinic, I wouldn't look into testing too early on ad sometime it's just rubbish luck (hate that word when it comes to such an important time) but it can be a numbers game. I cycled with 2 girls and 1 got a negative then had twins. The other had an early loss then had a baby girl. I guess my message is it can work even if 1st time didn't.xxx

[Seyedeh in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you for your kind reply.Yes, perhaps I should be more optimistic and try again without overthinking it but seems to be out of my control.Aw blesss!!Thank God it worked for you .

Glad to hearyour positive story♥️♥️♥️

[Twiglet2]

I’m so sorry for your loss 😢 it’s harder than getting a negative test having an early loss I feel! Your hopes are raised so high!

If I were you, I wouldn’t do any tests just yet your clinic are probably right in that it was maybe just an issue with that particular embryo. The good news is it did implant so that rules out a lot of issues and is half the battle won!

For a success story if it helps you, the FET after my chemical pregnancy/early loss at 5-6 weeks was my successful one so fingers crossed it’s the same for you 💜 xx

[Seyedeh in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank youu !Yesss, Super hard ,Even my husband and I had a small celebration at home and felt like a short dream.You are right ,Im glad implanted at least and Felt being mum for few days.

So glad it worked for you .

I try to overcome my fears and carry on with it for another round to see what happens.

[sj482]

Hey, so sorry to hear this. I too had a early miscarriage / chemical. I am now just about to do my next embryo transfer after another egg collection. For me this is scary as it’s our last embryo left (doing ivf with pgd due to a genetic issue I have). I am therefore worried and have asked the clinic repeatedly is there anything I should do have tests for. The only thing I tested for was my tsh and to be honest it has been all over the place but my clinic are happy with it. I also a progesterone test before transfer but that was because I had a fair bit of spotting throughout the weeks I was pregnant. I also was having lower than what some other people where and my clinic didn’t measure it before transfer.

[Seyedeh in reply to sj482]

Aww Im sorry to hear that. I know exactly how you feel. For TSH my clinic like it to be between 0.70 to 3 I think, If not they prescribe Thyroxine.Vitamin D is important as it play good role in you immune balance and is good to be at least 70.

For Progesterone, Always test on morning of transfer and if it blow 50 is advisable to increase dose and they believe high progesterone wont have disadvantage .My progesterone was 47 and I added extra pessary and reached 53 which was ok!

But bear in mind different clinic have different approach .

[Seyedeh]

Ladies can you pls also advise how to cope 2ww specially after one trauma .Do you stay at home and bed rest being extra careful and go crazy like me and just wait and wait and have mixed emotions? I was super focused and stressed on pregnancy, I can say I almost didn’t live on that 2weeks .

Or you go back to work and normally activities and ignore that you are potentially pregnant.

How do you control this hell ish weeks .

[Wishing-and-hoping in reply to Seyedeh]

Hi lovely.

Firstly, I’m so sorry for your recent loss xx

In response to your question about how to navigate the TWW (I’m currently 1 week in to my TWW & this is my 3rd IVF attempt) I think the answer is MODERATION!!

No need for bed rest at all, in fact, my clinic said it’s good to keep moving. But, take it easy. So potter about, go for works, do what you usually would do! Just don’t do anything strenuous like go to the gym, running, heavy lifting etc. Be gentle with yourself.

Also, fine to go to work if your work is not physical. So if it is a desk/computer job, then carry on - the distraction will do you good! I can’t work because I’m a paramedic so lots of lifting patients off the floor. I have been keeping busy though with days out with my niece & nephew, long walks, and pottering about the garden.

I think the positives of keeping yourself occupied and therefore looking after your mental health, are far more beneficial than sitting indoors & turning yourself mad with worry!

But as I said - nothing strenuous & listen to your body! If you feel too hot, or too tired, or anything like that, then stop & give your body what it is asking for.

At least this is my approach to this time round.

Best of luck for some good news soon darling xx

[Seyedeh in reply to Wishing-and-hoping]

Thank you very much for the reply.Yes Moderation was exactly what I missed in my cycle.

I became vulnerable and almost sick with waiting and emotional imbalances.

Next time Im going to plan my days and listen to your advice.

Good luck with your cycle pls don’t forget to share ur good news x

[Wishing-and-hoping in reply to Seyedeh]

Just remember to live - IVF is so important but you are more so!

Only 3 more days 😅 x x

[Hidden]

I am sorry for your loss. In recent 2ww I have tried to stay as 'normal' as possible. I have worked and commuted as normal. I have maybe gone to bed a bit earlier and napped if I was at home and felt tired (the progesterone always does that to me). I have a really healthy diet anyway but ramped up my vitamin c with a few more portions of fruit and veg a day. The one thing I did cut was my exercise (I am very active normally) and instead walked for an hour a day before work listening to podcasts to try and clear my head. Keeping busy is key for me and I swore I wouldn't test early but then found myself buying 6 FRERs on day 4 lols.

Regarding whether to test for things or not, I personally wouldn't. Its actually reasonably rare to get a BFP the first cycle and I am so sorry it resulted in a MC but that doesn't mean the next one will - every pregnancy is different. I know some people who got their BFP on their first transfers, others on their 9th.. its sometimes just luck like Cinderella says. I would try a few more before you decide you need more testing

Good luck xx

[Seyedeh in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the advice Daisy.I try to be cool and keep calm next time

I was scared to do normal activities and walking much.This time hopoIll overcome my fears and go back to my normal routine.

You were fine!O my God!From my day 5, I tested every day with 4 different brands and obsessively compare with past tests . Spent £100 on stupid tests!

This time Im not gonna drive myself mad and just do one test on day 11 and if positive a blood test!

I Hope your cycle worked after all Xxx