Moving forward with life childless

[Lady39]

We’ve just been to our 7 week scan and it wasn’t good news. Another missed miscarriage. That’s it for us. Was our final embryo tested.

Obviously, we are devastated. How has anyone else coped in this situation?

[Hidden]

So sorry to read this

I am not quite there yet as we are not embarking on DE but before that decision I thought I was there. I can’t recommend enough the book ‘Living a life unexpected’ it really helped me get a lot of things into perspective. It’s a cliche but I’ve also found time really helps, time living life that’s not all consuming TTC, just ‘normal life’ again.

We have one more try and then we will be in the position you are in and believe it or not after a year or so that’s not as scary a proposition as it sounds. I’ve learnt there are positives to life without children and I really hope you do too

Sending heaps of love xx

[Lady39 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you I’ll defo get this book x

[FrancyItaly]

Just want to say I am so sorry for your loss. I had 3 missed miscarriages too. I understand this was your final shot, is it your final decision? I wish I could something to help, I’ll pray you get your rainbow xxx

[Lady39 in reply to FrancyItaly]

It is our final decision. It was a pgt tested embryo and last shot x

[Cinderella5]

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I was on the brink and was trying to adjust....I think I was getting there but obviously can't say for sure how things would have been if we hadn't eventually have gotten lucky. Massive hugs.xxx

[Purple276]

I'm so sorry about your MMC. That's so heartbreaking and sending you hugs and time to heal. I also have a huge amount of respect for your decision and knowing this is the time for you to close this chapter.Like Daisy says where possible do things that you couldn't do if your journey had gone another way. I'm planning to buy a campervan, take a chunk of time off to travel. This summer it's bliss to pretend to ignore infertility and focus on weddings, a festival, an outdoor swim knowing that I won't have that feeling of 'but we could be pregnant by then'.

I'm not quite ready and so have 2 final DE in the freezer for the end of summer, but know if these don't lead to anything that's it and I will finishing knowing I genuinely tried everything.

It will always stay with you and you will have tough sad days and that is totally okay, but I do believe you'll find a way to live a new version of your life which can be equally fulfilling, living and fun.

Wish you all the best xx

[Koala365]

I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm not quite at the stage where I am going to move forward with life childless. I thought I was around Christmas after my fourth IVF stimulation cycle having had a total of 6 embryos transferred through those and none of them having implanted. I was so devastated and I sought some counselling from a fertility counsellor which really helped and I would definitely recommend to anyone in that position. I thought I could do it all alone but just talking to someone who understands really helps. When I started feeling better and noticed that my work's new health insurance policy now covered fertility treatment, I decided to push for the tests that would be offered to a younger woman who was experiencing recurrent miscarriage and/or implantation failure. While I do accept that a lot of why I haven't been successful is likely to be to do with my age and potential chromosomal abnormalities, I can't help thinking that it is odd that nothing ever implanted at all. Anyway I had the Emma/Alice test (came back normal) I had the thrombotic risk profile test (came back with MTFHR gene mutation implicated in recurrent miscarriage) and the Natural Killer Cells test (came back with high levels of NK Cells and inflammation as implicated for recurrent miscarriage and implantation failure) I am now pressing ahead with another IVF but this time they will treat me with low dose heparin at embryo transfer and intralipid infusions and steroids during stimulation and at certain points afterwards. There's still a chance that it won't work as no guarantee I will get any blastocysts to transfer or that they won't be abnormal but still much more of a chance of success due to these treatments in my view. I just wish I had known that I had these issues before I started doing IVF and/or trying for a baby. If you can possibly afford to have the tests for recurrent miscarriage privately I would ask for them in your situation and then take it from there. All the best at this difficult time xx

[SCHNOW in reply to Koala365]

I just want to let you know the Intralipid and steroids treatment for NK cells worked on me. My son was born this March. I had 5 cycles, 8 transfers and he is the 12th embryos transferred. I had 2 miscarriages and 2 chemical pregnancies, probably mainly due to high NK cells because the PGS test shows the quality of embryos are not bad. I am at the rate of 3 out of 5 are normal in my 5th cycle. Lots of luck!

[Koala365 in reply to SCHNOW]

Thank you. So please for you and that is really encouraging!

[Hidden in reply to Koala365]

Hi Koala, just as a side note! As you've tested positive for the MTHFR gene, you might be interested in have a look at Dr Carolyn Ledowsky who does a lot of interesting webinars around this and recurrent miscarriage. I find them really good. Sounds like you've got all the bases covered anyway though!

[Lady39 in reply to Koala365]

Good luck to you x

[HollyLI]

So sorry

[SCHNOW]

Sorry to hear your are devastated and I was in the same boat as you! Had depression but didn’t give up. Finally my son was born this March, he is my 8th transfer, 5th cycle and 12th embryos transferred. Before him, I had 2 miscarriages and 2 chemical pregnancies. If you are experiencing the same as me, I suggest you go for a detailed miscarriage investigation.

[Lady39 in reply to SCHNOW]

Thank you I’m due to speak with my Consultant. He always said it’s just a numbers game with me as all tests were normal and we also did era. X

[AuroraXen]

I don't have any advice lovely. Not really. I'm more and more fearing this is going to be our path too, and all I can suggest is trying to remember that life can still be filled with good things and joy and meaning without a child. Never forget how special you are. I'm so sorry for your awful outcome, sending lots of love xx