Probable chemical

[Emilye92x]

Hi lovelies,

Today is my OTD (11dp5dt) and as pictured I’m 99% sure this round has ended in a chemical and I’m absolutely devastated 😢

I called my clinic this morning and told them about the change in line strength, they’ve told me that a positive is a positive and not to retest and have booked my in for my viability scan

They’ve also said that they won’t do my beta HCG

I physically can’t walk around for the next three weeks not knowing what is going on so will definitely be retesting

To add to that I’ve done another test this afternoon that is completely negative

I just feel absolutely rubbish, have had some cramping today and just don’t know what to do with myself

Has anyone else who has had a chemical pregnancy had any other symptoms whilst still on progesterone?

I saw a lady pushing a pram today and burst into tears I feel like such an idiot

I don’t really know the point of this post?! Just wanted to get it out I guess

Hope you’re all doing well and best of luck to everyone 💕💕💕

[Redsequin]

Uff, I'm sorry you're going through this, lovely. So stressful and confusing. Could you book a private HCG test? I know it's a bit pricey but otherwise, you will be so worried, and at least this way you'll have some idea what's going on. I think you can actually get those home test kits that are a bit cheaper and then you send them off to the lab? Sending hugs xxxx

[Emilye92x in reply to Redsequin]

Thank you 💕💕 I’m going to test again in the morning and if it’s still light/negative ask them if I can pay to have one done there as it’s an NHS/private clinicJust need some closure I think and would rather know early so I can get my head around it and get back on with things as normal

Thanks again for your lovely reply ❤️ xxxx

[Redsequin in reply to Emilye92x]

That sounds like a sensible plan. Wishing you so much luck. Hopefully it's just a blip in the testing as I know they can read differently depending on a number of factors, but if not, you should have the opportunity to know asap so you can move forward. Thinking of you xxx

[Emilye92x in reply to Redsequin]

❤️❤️❤️

[Purpledoggy]

You can do home HCG tests with Medichecks using a finger prick as an alternative to a private clinic if your GP won't do it. Ideally, do 2 two days apart to look for the increase (should double every 2-3 days). Good luck! xx

[Emilye92x in reply to Purpledoggy]

Thank you lovely if my clinic won’t do it I’ll certainly be ordering two of those xxx

[Ranchu90]

I am so sorry Emilye that you are experiencing a chemical pregnancy. I been there 3 times, seeing the line fading away made me so angry. It something like ...I am showing you but not giving you... There is a good bit though about chemicals, first of all your uterus is receptive and second thing, is considered that you are more likely to be successful with your next cycle. This is what motivated me to not give up ...also PGS testing was our solution+steroids.

Stay strong.

Much love 💖🤗

[Emilye92x in reply to Ranchu90]

So awful isn’t it especially when you’ve gotten so excited and it’s snatched away from you 😢I’m so sorry you’ve been through so many, and thank you for the positive spin 💕

So glad you managed a successful cycle congratulations!! Xx

[Ranchu90 in reply to Emilye92x]

Thank you my dear ❣️

[Leigh2244]

So sorry to hear this had a chemical before and it’s heartbreaking seeing the line disappear. X

[Emilye92x in reply to Leigh2244]

Thank you 💕Truly heart breaking, definitely won’t be testing early next time such a cruel rollercoaster this isn’t it xx

[Gempuddleduck]

I just wanted to say I’m so sorry you’re feeling so rubbish. Ivf can be so so horrible sometimes. I hope you’re okay xxxx

[Emilye92x in reply to Gempuddleduck]

Thank you so much, really feel lucky to have this community you’ve all been so lovely and supportive it means the world 💕💕💕 xxxx

[Rol81]

I’m so sorry Emily, that fading line image has me traumatised, it’s such a horrible thing you are going through. I would try get a private test, dont blame you not wanting to go through the next 3 weeks not knowing. Big hug and best of luck xxx

[Emilye92x in reply to Rol81]

Thank you so much 💕 oh my gosh I’m so sorry I should’ve added sensitive to the post 😭Yeah I couldn’t believe it when my clinic asked me to wait, absolutely bloody not my head is a mess! Would just like a bit of closure so I can get back to work, I work with children so will need a bit of time to process xxx

[Rol81 in reply to Emilye92x]

Oh nooo, not at all, I just meant , the fading line is horrible and so many of us understand how heartbreaking it is for you ❤️ Been in limbo is torture xxx

[McQueeny]

I’m so so sorry if this turns out to be a chemical, I had one two months ago and had a complete meltdown. It’s just so unfair. But don’t give up quite yet, agree with you that waiting is just impossible, I second paying for a blood test if you can, I’ve done that before and they’re not that pricey (at least not compared to the stupid amounts of money we all spend on treatments and drugs…..). Keeping fingers crossed for you 🤞💫

[Emilye92x in reply to McQueeny]

Thank you so much it’s more the unexpectedness of it aswell isn’t it especially as things were going so well!! I’m so sorry you’ve had one too it’s just awful 😢 hoping for a miracle tomorrow but totally expecting to see the same as today if not totally negativeI know I was quite cross at how dismissive they were when I told them about the lines I commend anyone that could get these results and hold out until a scan!

If you’re going for another round I wish you all the best with it and hope you’re okay now ❤️ Xxxx

[McQueeny in reply to Emilye92x]

Absolutely. When you finally get those lines you expect to keep them….!!! They say chemicals are super common, and women who get pregnant naturally probably have them without ever knowing as they just get their ‘period’….

I always find the refusal to test really mean. I know HPT are reasonably reliable, but after everything we go through and how expensive it all is it doesn’t feel unreasonable for the clinic to do a simple blood test?? My clinic did agree to do a test when I told them my line disappeared , but I did have to push a bit….

Thank you, going for another transfer tomorrow 🤞🍀💫xx

[Emilye92x in reply to McQueeny]

So so true!! Yeah so horrendous my other half said I should never have tested early but I’d rather know now than in 6 weeks time at the scan Yes I completely agree and was surprised that the gp wouldn’t do them either it’s only a 5 minute appointment and not that expensive!

That’s good that they agreed I’ll do the same tomorrow for sure

Oh my goooooosh that’s so exciting!!! All the luck in the world for you really hope you get a sticky bean!!! Please please keep us all updated 🤞🤞🤞 🍀 xxx

[McQueeny in reply to Emilye92x]

Ah that’s good, and fingers crossed, let us know!! 🤞🤞 Thanks so much ☺️💫🤞 xxx

[minnesota_girl]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have been there and it's not easy and you will still be super hormone riddled and that makes everything so much harder.

Thinking of you 💕💕💕💕💕

[Emilye92x in reply to minnesota_girl]

Thank you lovely I’ve retested this morning and it’s basically negative I’m so sorry you’ve been in the same situation it feels so cruel 😢 hope you are doing okay xxx

[XxMrsBXx in reply to Emilye92x]

I’m so sorry … it’s heartbreaking 💔 I had a chemical in December . Seeing the line makes you feel on top of the world and to then see it fade day after day is just horrible .

After my review I felt better and we did another transfer in March which again was positive but sadly ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks ….

Stay strong and don’t give up . Sending lots of love xx

[Emilye92x in reply to XxMrsBXx]

It’s actually horrific how many of us go through this isn’t it 😭I’m taking solace in that we’re all in it together as awful as it sounds it’s good that we’re able to sympathise and share the pain 😢

Thank you honey you too absolute best of luck for your next try xxxx

[Klndmr]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I myself been there 6 times for the past 4 years and it's the worst thing ever! You clinic must agree to do a blood test you are paying for it anyway, what does it mean they won't do it? Nobody can make you wait for three weeks! Sending you big hugs and best of luck XXX ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Emilye92x in reply to Klndmr]

Thank you so much 💕 so sorry you’ve had one too it’s emotional torture isn’t it! This cycle is NHS funded and I’m not sure that it’s included but I’ve emailed them this morning and requested to pay for one as they also manage privately funded patientsMy test this morning is basically negative so hopefully they’ll get back to me ASAP 🤞

Xxxx

[Positivechangeplease]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this Emily. Although I wouldn’t think from the picture it does mean a chemical pregnancy and it could have been a dud test you used but I understand how worried you are. Could you go to your GP citing your mental health and ask them to do a blood test? It’s clearly going to affect your mental health and I think they might take you seriously ❤️

[Emilye92x in reply to Positivechangeplease]

I’ve done another two tests this morning of different brands and both are basically negative, I was hoping the same yesterday but unfortunately not 😢My clinic should do one if I pay for it I’ve emailed them this morning and been a lot more blunt so they can’t say no really xx

[Sarascottxox]

Hi EmilyI had a chemical on our first round in March. A loss is a loss at any stage, so your feelings are perfectly valid. I had a super dark line till test day (day 14) called the clinic and had just told pur parents, then two days later started spotting. My clinic told me not to worry and I had a viability scan booked 3 weeks later, but I knew they'd gone. My symptons stopped so I begged them for a HCG and they did one in the end and confirmed the drop in HCG. I was a mess for about 2 weeks, I think part of it is all the IVF meds leaving your body.

My consultant said that there are positives to be taken from this negative and it shows the uterus is receptive to implantation. Do you have any frozen embryos? I'm also on my only NHS round and about to have a frozen transfer. Ironically, my period is a day late as of today which is so irritating as I need it to come to start my meds for the frozen cycle! 🙄

Sending love

I understand completely how devastating this is! Xx

[Emilye92x in reply to Sarascottxox]

Oh honey I’m so sorry that sounds absolutely devastating 😭I definitely agree the progesterone isn’t helping me process this any better!!

Well done you for fighting your corner it seems so awful that they expect you to wait when you know in your mind the outcome

Yeah I guess the fact it was positive for a while is a silver lining 💕

Oh my gosh that’s exciting 🤞 she makes an appearance today!! Yes we’ve got 4 frosties and will probably ask for a double transfer next time as it’ll be our last one on the NHS too xx

[Sarascottxox in reply to Emilye92x]

That's great you have three frosties!! We have 3 more so feel very grateful as someone I know only had one embryo that resulted in a BFN so had to go straight to private and self funding.Will your clinic do double transfers? Mine won't unless you're over 42 or if embryo quality is poor. It's very frustrating as I would love them to do a double transfer. The clinic have a one at a time policy as them deem twin pregnancies too high risk 😔 xx

[Emilye92x in reply to Sarascottxox]

Awh that’s brilliant!! We obvs haven’t spoken to them about it yet but would definitely try to push for it, I find it so bizarre that they can refuse to do it surely if you’re informed of the risks then you should be able to make your own decision?! Did you ask or was it a straight no when you started? Xx

[Sarascottxox in reply to Emilye92x]

I'm sure all clinics do things differently. We're in Leeds and they're pretty strict on it. They told us at the start and its in all their literature. I know clinics abroad still do them, but it's fairly common for them to refuse if you're young and seemingly healthy xx

[Emilye92x in reply to Sarascottxox]

Oh wow!! I guess they’re looking at their statistics tooBest of luck for your next transfer all fingers crossed for you! Xx

[Sarascottxox in reply to Emilye92x]

Thank you lovely.Hope you get your HCG test and your frozen comes round soon! Ours has been pretty quick so hope yours is too! Xx

[LoveToGive]

I am sorry this is happening. I was retaking my pregnancy tests and the line was quickly fading. It was awful to go from overjoyed to complete devastation within 3 days. I totally understand the rollercoaster you’re going through and still praying for a miracle at the same time . Sending you love and support and know that we are here for you.

[Emilye92x in reply to LoveToGive]

You’ve perfectly explained the feeling it’s horrendous isn’t it 😢 today was basically negative the clinic has advised to do one more test tomorrow morning and if it’s negative then to stop progesterone. So hard to know how to even feel?! Thank you so much it really is appreciated ❤️❤️❤️

[LoveToGive]

It’s amazing to think that when you want a baby so bad, as soon as you see the positive line it’s like you’re able to feel again. I couldn’t help but think of the future, I practically wanted to run out and buy a car seat, then the next day my symptoms started to fade and then I delved deep into Google searching for posts about wrong pregnancy tests and miracles of people who somehow was pregnant, although those stories were minimal. Give your self time to heal and process, there is no right or wrong way to feel. I felt pathetic and stupid for having hope and even feeling that joy. Now, I’m in the process of prepping for EMA/ERA/ALICE to help figure out why I have had 2 chemicals. It’s our last embryo so everything is riding on this last round. It’s heart wrenching what we are all going through, the choices we have to make all while smiling to the world and acting as if we are all ok. The day of my chemical pregnancy I was at work like I was a ghost but no one knew the pain I was feeling inside. It’s an awful, painful road we have to go down but lean on the strength of others when you need it. Xoxox

[Emilye92x in reply to LoveToGive]

Google is the devil I swear to god I think I just need to put my phone in the bin for the next few days it sends your head into a complete spin!!I’m sorry you’ve had two I can’t even imagine what going through this a second time would feel like 😭

Don’t ever feel pathetic for feeling hopeful that hope it why we put ourselves through all this and we’re all in it together ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I really really hope you get to the bottom of it and have the beautiful baby you so very much deserve xxxxx

[Renk]

Chemical pregnancy is very painful experience. I have been through the infertility struggle for last 15 years. I can totally feel your pain. Just two days ago i got the news that my last FET failed. My beta went from 62 to 84 and didn’t rise in the repeat blood test. So clinic stopped all my meds and m waiting for my bleed now. Life tests our patience so much. All I can say is only time can heal our wounds. Nothing helps at this stage . We just cry it out and let time heal us. Thinking of all the ladies who are going through the same situation as us.

[Emilye92x in reply to Renk]

Oh my gosh 15 years you poor thing 😢 we’re on year 6 and never thought it would get to this point!! Although most of that was spent in denial to be fair My gosh I’m so sorry we’re both in the same position I hope you have a good support system to help you through it

I’m taking 3 bottles of wine to my best friends tonight probably not the most sensible plan but I feel like a need a bloody drink after all of this!!!!

[Renk in reply to Emilye92x]

My husband is very supportive. Doesn’t matter how much support you have it still hurts so much. Whatever therapy you need to help you tackle this pain, go for it. After all , we are exhausted mentally and physically. Have a good evening sweet. Thinking of you