To all the Christian ladies and those... - Fertility Network UK

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To all the Christian ladies and those who believe in God

Hope823 profile image
9 Replies

Do you believe that life starts at conception? And distroying embryos equals abortion? I am 37, pregnant first time in my life but have 6 more frozen embryos who I think about every day. I believe that God created them and I must try to give them life. I am thinking that after this pregnancy could do 2+2+2 transfers or 3+3 or 1 transfer every for the next 6 years. Does anyone else understand what I mean? How do you deal with this situation? I always wanted a big family but I never wanted to be an old mum. Unfortunately I married late, and then thia fertility struggle stole another 4 years. And now I am 37, 1 embryo on board, 6 still waiting

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Hope823 profile image
Hope823
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9 Replies
Buisquits profile image
Buisquits

It's a quandary. Myslef, believing in God, I think destroying the embryos would be extremely sad that's why I decided to give my up for training staff. Somebody did that before me so that I could have my miracle. I want to help other in my position. It will be hard but it seems to me the best way. It's so difficult to make decisions like that. Saying that, not all of my embryos took so I'm happy I have not win storage.

Hope you find a piece of mind x

JoyfulStar profile image
JoyfulStar

Hi Aliice,

This is a very poignant question for me at the moment because I am currently in my last month of pregnancy and I have 3 left over embryos. I got contacted today by our IVF clinic to make a decision and DH and I have decided to pay a years storage fees although we decided even before we embarked on the IVF journey that we were aiming for one.

I have been doing some soul searching and I don’t know if I am sure that life begins at conception but I do want to pray on it. The reason I am not so sure is that having gone through IVF, I am aware that some embryos fertilise and arrest, also some get transferred and do not stick leading me to mostly believe life begins after implantation.

That being said, I still feel an emotional attachment to my embryos and I may be wrong so I just want to have time to pray on this for a while. I have not been able to so far as the last 9 months have been taken up by my miracle.

When you embark on IVF you are so focused on getting a positive outcome that you rarely think about the pitfalls i.e. what do you do with leftover embryos? I am 44 so really unlikely to use those embryos but I intend to seek guidance from God on this. For now, as I am not sure, I will just buy more time.

I hope you get the outcome you are looking for. It is worth bearing in mind that clinics in the UK do not like transferring multiple embryos unless there is a medical reason. That being said, I would advice that you have those conversations and advocate for what you want.

All the best 🙏🏾

Ivfgotadream profile image
Ivfgotadream

I don’t so much focus on the “god” element of it - He hasn’t exactly helped me out before with multiple losses etc - He didn’t make my embryos I bloody did and I’m taking the credit for them 😂

For me the “life” part starts as soon as there is a heartbeat so around 6 weeks so I wouldn’t Consider destroying embryos as abortion as such.

I have 2 left frozen after having twins last year - I do feel emotionally connected to them. They are the last “babies” DH and I will ever make together (I have no tubes left). I’ve just paid to store them for another year as I don’t feel ready to make a decision yet. I’d like 1 more child but that would still potentially leave 1 left - I’d also be happy to transfer them and it not work - at least I’ve given them a chance. I have a workable number left though - if I had 6 Like you I know I’d have to come to terms with making a decision on them

Emmanev1 profile image
Emmanev1

I'm also a firm believer in god and I have toyed with my conscience over IVF. I got 3 blasts from my 1st cycle but I knew I would put all 3 back. My 1st didn't implant the second resulted in a MC and my last I'm currently 10 weeks and I feel that was God's will and its a clean slate for me with no left over. Its so hard when religion is included but you do what's best for you.

I am not a practicing christian but I do believe there is something out there. I tend to agree with Ivegotadream.. embryos are essentially cells (from a scientific perspective) and my general thought process was life begins with a heartbeat.

However I understand your challenges and all our beliefs are different. Had you thought about embryo donation? There are plenty of couples out there who are looking at embryo adoption. That way you wouldn't have to 'force' yourself to be an older Mum but you are also not having to make a choice about disposing your embryos and you are giving another couple a chance of having a family, so every one is a winner in my book.

JoyfulStar profile image
JoyfulStar in reply to

I think this is great advice Daisy. Unfortunately, it was not an option for hubby and I as we were considered too old 🥲. I think the cut off might be 35 when I researched it on the HFEA website but I might be wrong.

pink_lemon profile image
pink_lemon

I am not a christian or believe in god, but 2 embryos in the freezer and I cannot imagine signing paperwork letting them go one day. I am so curious who they would be if they took after transfer. I think about them often. There is not even a 100% statistical chance we would have another baby from those, we don’t even have the first one yet, but I am hoping circumstances will allow us to come back for them. If you have 6, statistically it is 99% chance to have 1 live birth out of 3 single embryo transfers (my doctor says). The chances go down with multiple transfers. Anyway, my reply does not really tell you much or give advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone having those thoughts.

Ivfgotadream profile image
Ivfgotadream

Just to add based on a thread I’ve seen on another board that some clinics are recommending keeping embryos in storage for several years as there is apparently some new scientific studies which can use them as a source of stem cells if any living children fall unwell and require stem cell treatment. I’ve literally just read the thread so off to do some research on Google

TexasRose210 profile image
TexasRose210

I am a Christian and I feel emotionally attached to my embryos. I feel like I have to go back for my other children. I have one beautiful boy who will be 1 next month. Im currently starting another cycle with the hope of transferring 2 embryos. I will still have 2 left after. I say that this is my last transfer and I hope to let my other two embryos go but I do not know how my heart will feel. I don’t think it’s abortion and without God nothing is possible.

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