Sad days

[Blueberry211]

Hello everyone

Is it just me? This christmas was very sad ; I am trying to be positive and move forward however social media has not helped; all I see are photos of pregnancy reveals, baby photos and pregnancy announcements.

I had my first FET in november and it resulted in a chemical. I have one embryo left frozen; am terrified to go through what I already went through in november.

This week three of my colleagues announced they are pregnant. I am happy for them but every news I hear is making me more depressed.

[RubyVet]

I’m sorry for your last transfer not working, a chemical is awful thing to go through. You aren’t alone with your feelings. I’ve found this Christmas really hard. I’ve admitted defeat today and let myself feel sad instead of acting like I’m enjoying Christmas. Literally sat on the sofa all day watching films eating rubbish. I’m just telling myself that it’s a new year in a couple of days and I can start again.

Also, I know the fear of going in for another transfer after a failed one. My husband and I were talking about it last night and he advised me to take it all one day at a time and whatever happens he knows that I am strong enough to deal with it because I have already come this far. It’s the same for you, you are so strong and when you are ready to try again we will be here for you xxx

[Blueberry211 in reply to RubyVet]

Thank you so much for your advice. I did just that, I sat on the sofa and let it all out. My husband is very supportive albeit more positive ❤️Let s move one day at a time. Wishing you the best for your future

[MammaMia86]

I totally get what you are saying about social media....it's like if all the stars align and it is the only thing that I see.

Don't stress about the frozen embryo, I am sure soon you will get a BFP🤞🤞

[Blueberry211 in reply to MammaMia86]

I hope so! It s just I was so positive prior to the first and I am not so much now.

[Aurora20]

Hi social media is honestly the worse thing 😭 I literally had a friend literally go through when she was planning on getting pregnant, going into detail about how it will be after her wedding on one of their holidays. I thought are you being for real when you know my situation. I’m feel how you are it’s not nice, I would advise getting off social media if you can it has helped me a lot x

[Blueberry211 in reply to Aurora20]

Omg! She did that in front of you? I am sorry you had to go through that!

I will follow your advice and try my best to stay off social media.

Sending you lots of hugs

[Aurora20 in reply to Blueberry211]

Yeah she was messaging me this over Christmas as her wedding is next year, always telling me how she can’t wait to have a baby. I have just accepted some people just have no brains! I hope things go well for you and you get the miracle you deserve x

[Blueberry211 in reply to Aurora20]

That is super rude! I dont understand why people can be so insensitive.Try to switch off social media for a while and take some time for yourself

[minnesota_girl]

I hear you, I'm the same I had a great transfer in Dec that felt so promising and I ended up with a chemical right before Christmas and totally agree that as people post wishes online they're taking their turn to announce things. I think it's more than normal as people still aren't seeing people like they used to so they use a Christmas message and so it feels like it's everywhere xx

I'm terrified of doing my next one, and to top it all off I got norovirus yesterday and so it's a bit like what more for Christmas, eh?!?!

[Blueberry211 in reply to minnesota_girl]

I feel your pain dear. Please get well soon!Yes, all I see are announcements. Unfortunately, I see everyone moving forward and I feel I am stuck in the same vicious cycle.

I wish you all the best for the future transfer xx

[Maisie234]

I completely understand how you feel. In the end I had to unfollow everyone on Facebook with children. It sounds so stupid but you have to be kind to yourself and protect your mental health. Don't feel bad for doing it, it's just torture on a daily basis! I felt a huge pressure off when I done it. Work is a bit more difficult but do what you can in other areas. Hope you are ok xx

[Blueberry211 in reply to Maisie234]

I will definitely take your advice. I had four pregnancy announcements in one week at work and it got me so down.

[FrancyItaly]

It is not just you, it’s all of us! Pregnancy announcement are always so hard to digest, we are sorry for what we want so much and don’t have. It is especially hard around Christmas as it is meant to be a magical time for families, so that certainly doesn’t help. Just wanted to say that you are not alone and that you will get there at the perfect time! x

[Blueberry211 in reply to FrancyItaly]

Thank you! I appreciate your advice xxx wishing you all that your heart desires

[Queenr]

I have really struggled this Christmas as well. I think when you look at your social media and see how everyone has made pregnancy announcements or are celebrating with their babies/children who are your age..it’s difficult. I’ve had to take myself of social media, watch crap and cry it out. I wouldn’t wish infertility on anyone. The worst thing ever.

[Blueberry211 in reply to Queenr]

It is definitely the worst pain ever. Sometimes, it feels my heart is being ripped apart and people don't understand

[MakingbabyN]

Hi Blueberry211 sorry to read that you are having a sad time. I’m also having the saddest Christmas after our late loss in October. We don’t even have any trees or decorations up.

I keep telling myself that next Christmas will be different, I hope so anyway. 🙏🏻

I de-activated social media almost a year ago on the day of my first egg collection. I found it too difficult to see all the announcements on there. It gave me an instant sense of calm. I always said I’d go back when I fell pregnant but never did and now I’m back to where I started 😔

Just wanted to say that you aren’t alone xx

Do you have a plan in place for your FET? Xx

[Blueberry211 in reply to MakingbabyN]

Thank you for your message. I would liek to send you so much love!

It is in February, but honestly I am scared.

[HappyGreenBean]

I'm so sorry to read this. It's very hard going to watch with happiness and sadness, loss. It's a difficult balance. I wish there was something I could say or do to take the pain away but just know that you're not alone.

I live next to a family of 4, two children under 6 yo. It's been hard listening to the laughter, arguments, screams of joy and tears of pain over the holidays. But, of course I'm happy for them! It doesn't make it any easier though. Many, if not all of my gfs have children. They didn't struggle to have kids either. It's hard, I understand.

May I suggest that you limit your social media engagements? I tend to put my timer on and set it for 20-30mins and then no matter what I log out. I found it's helped me through the long lockdowns and have decided to keep going with it as friends are posting pics of their families or pregnancy announcements. Instead, I've decided to send txts or make calls to those I care about most and let them know I'm thinking about them. It's made the pain of being an observer easier.

None of what I'm suggesting fixes anything though. For now, offering internet hugs and the hope the new year brings you what you need most.

[Blueberry211 in reply to HappyGreenBean]

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!I wish the same to you I will limit social media as much as possible, it is definitely not helping!

[HappyGreenBean in reply to Blueberry211]

It breaks my heart to read of your struggles. I fully empathise. Lots of hugs, you will get through this. x

[Blueberry211]

Thank you!! Will do