Apparently i should introduce myself so here's my story......... So I'm a nearly 37 year old lady who followed her gut feeling about getting my fertility checked. It proved to be a good idea as unfortunately i returned an AMH level of 2.8. a week ago. Hopefully i haven't left it too late as i would still love to be a mum. Then the icing on the cake was 2 days later my relationship of a year broke down so now I'm on my own. This is a scary thought with so many important choices/decisions to make.
I'm self sufficient in all ways so that side is ok, however even with an amazing support network around me, am I strong enough to do IVF on my own?............... Hopefully i can talk to people on here who are in a similar situation to me
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MsLuna
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Hey 👋🏼 I am jo 41. All I can say is if I had a daughter I would be willing her to do it if that’s what she wanted. Am also glad you got checked! If this is your path then take it. Nobody knows how strong they are till you actually go though a cycle. So many ups & downs,what ifs and uncertainty. The bravest women I know. There is always support just reach out which I should of done along time ago to maybe save my mental health. It’s not easy but it would be so worth it! Good luck I think you have started the process already 😉xx
Hi hun, there are quite a few of us on here doing this journey as singles. I started at 40, not easy, but for me I'm really glad I'm giving it my best shot before the end of my fertility (rather than perhaps always wondering 'what if'). No happy ending just yet, but still quite a few embryos to transfer so keeping hopeful.
This is one of the things going around in my head. Would i regret it if i didn't at least try?? Ive got a lot to think about. Hoping you reach your happy ending 😊
I am going through IVF on my own. Low AMH of 1.6 back in Apr. Had one round so far. Due to start second next week. Really tough decision to make but at the same time an easy one to make as well.
Can i please ask, did you manage to collect any viable eggs in your first round? Have you frozen them or created embryos? There is just so much to think about, do i freeze eggs, do i go straight for a donor to freeze embryos, do I just go for it and go straight for the pregnancy. Its just blowing my mind a bit...
Yeah it’s tricky eh? There is always the option to freeze your eggs and use later but you need to be viable to carry them and then you’re delaying the process. Also embryos freeze better than eggs- higher chance of success… and if you had your donor lined up you could try a fresh transfer and freeze the others. Take your time in working out what you want to do.
I had 5 follicles in the end, collected 2 eggs, only one was transferred and I did that on day 2. Unfortunately ended in BFN. There is a lot to think about, and can be overwhelming. All I can advise is make sure the clinic give you the answers to any questions you have. I had to get them to tell me in simple terms so I could make a decision I was happy with.
Best advice is go one day at a time. Try not to think too far ahead or it can be overwhelming. One injection/ appointment /week at a time. Thats what I've had to do to stop myself freaking out. When the big box of medication arrived i thought ahhhhh. But day by day got through it all. Waiting to hear if egg transfer tomorrow then will go from there. We are stronger than we think. Whats your next step? Miriam 39.
I’m sorry you are in this position, I’m going on my single fertility journey too and I asked myself the same question. And the answer is yeah for me, for you, for anyone. We women are strong and we should believe in ourselves more. You’ve took the first step by reaching out and that took guts. It’ll be an emotional journey, but this network is here for you. Good luck 🤞
If I had my time again I would freeze my eggs xx
Hi MsLuna, fantastic that you followed your instinct, it's really important in this fertility world. I'm single and started this journey when I was 40 and got pregnant when I was 41 and 43. For a while I couldn't get my head around using donor sperm, creating a child with someone I'd never met but then I looked at all the information on their profiles and in some cases I knew more about them then I did men I had been in a relationship with! Once you've made a decision it's easier. As positivechangeplease says, eggs don't freeze brilliantly so you run the risk of about 20% not being viable when you thaw them. In saying that, they seem to be trying to improve the process the whole time so that might hopefully change. Embryos freeze much better so that's more of an insurance policy. My fertility specialist says that the womb doesn't age the same way the eggs do so your womb is capable of carrying a healthy pregnancy up until 50 which is why they will transfer donor eggs/embryos up until that age or your own frozen embryos. I guess you have to have a think about what it is that's important to you, having a 2 parent family and having support and are you willing to wait for the right one to come along. In that case, freezing your eggs might be the best option. If having a child is more of an urgent need then look at donor sperm options and have a look at that option. Don't get me wrong, in an ideal world I would have liked to do this with a partner and there is a bit of grieving that comes with the idea that things didn't go the way you might have pictured it but I wanted a child more! Also don't get too hung up on AMH levels, that just really looks at the quantity of eggs and not the quality so you mightn't have as many eggs as others your age but you just need that quality one or two. Wishing you all the best in your decision and next steps.
Hi MsLuna, I am in a different position. I started IVF with my beloved husband and then we fell pregnant naturally while waiting to start our second cycle. Such a miracle! When I was 23 weeks pregnant with our miracle my husband died (according to the coroner) most likely from his prescription meds mixing with cold and flu tablets to aggravate an undiagnosed heart condition 💔 I am now deeply grieving the loss of my soulmate and I am (as of tomorrow) 31 weeks pregnant with our first and now only child who is due at Christmas. We wanted two little ones and planned to start trying again half way through next year. I am 39 in a few weeks so not only will our daughter not have her daddy, she is unlikely to have a sibling and certainly not one created by me and my husband.
I am telling you this because the heartbreaking truth I learnt is that there are no guarantees in life. You can do everything the right way...be a good person, wait for that solid financial and romantic relationship before you start trying for children...and bad things can still happen that rip your world apart. There is no guarantee if you wait to find a husband or partner that it will happen in time to match your fertility window or that your relationship will endure rounds of IVF or raising children to adulthood.
If you want children...please start planning them now independently of a man. I was intending to become a single mother by choice and met my husband at the 11th hour! I'd already purchased donor sperm! But then years passed and hubby and I still didn't get pregnant so ended up at the IVF clinic which failed us until we got our miracle. Then he died.
You don't know what life has in store for you but if you want to be a mum, I would start now. Things always take longer and have twists and turns that you never expected. You could freeze your eggs but the two clinics near me refuse to freeze eggs if you are 35 and older because the quality of the eggs has degraded and the thaw rates are horrible - they didn't pull their punches with me...it's why I ended up buying donor sperm because embryos freeze and thaw better. You could always try half and half if your clinic is prepared to do it - freeze half eggs and half embryos. I think you'll probably get a shock when you find out how many embryos you get to freeze...it's rarely the same number as eggs you get. Which should give you more of an idea what may happen to your eggs if you defrost them later to use. I was shocked at attrition rates and shocked again by how many embryos are genetically viable. I wish that I had started earlier at IVF with hubby instead of waiting on natural conception.
Best wishes and good luck with whatever path you choose. Xx
I am so sorry to read your story. That's more heartbreak than anyone should have to endure. I am wishing you and your daughter well and know your husband will be there in spirit helping you along the way xx
Hello MsLuna and other lovely brave women! I am 37 and have been terrified of freezing eggs. Reading these posts has made me realise us single women can do this!whilst the quality of eggs might be slightly lower, so is the quality of potential men! So I’ve decided to take the leap and not put my future in anyone else’s hands per se. I know this thread is a few months old but I wondered if anyone went through the long protocol with injections from day 21 ? The thought of injections for 1 month terrifies me. Also my clinic seem so adamant that every patient should be recommended the same supplements e.g. all women with low amh to take 100mg ubiquinol daily. It’s all confusing and scary. Any help /advice would be much appreciated 🙃👍
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