Feeling lost

[bms12]

So I think our little miracle has gone. After a truly awful week after coming home from a beautiful, blissful holiday daydreaming about our Christmas baby we got back to find out we had been broken in too while away, and then a trip to a and e with pain Thursday, then another trip sunday where I was admitted with suspected ectopic due to light bleeding and cramps however our jelly bean was in the right place, heart fluttering away however measuring 11 days behind, thenyesterday morning was our scan at the clinic their heart was still beating however the bleeding was slightly worse. Today comes around and the cramps have been agonising and the bleeding much worse. A panty liner is more than enough to hold it probably all day if I let it. But today I just feel different. I haven't had any pregnancy symptoms in over a week now. Since about the time they are measuring at 5w6days when i should be 7 weeks 5 days today. It's taken 4 years to get here, and now I'm so lost and have no idea what to do with myself or whether I even want to try again. I'm honestly so heartbroken even though thought I'd built at least some resistance and prepared myself to some degree. I just can't stop crying.

[elle80]

Oh my goodness, you've had such an awful time! I'm lost for words.... All I can do is send you a massive hug and lots of love xx I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through xx

[bms12 in reply to elle80]

Thank you xx

[Lou7744]

You poor thing, I’m really sorry to read what you’ve been going through.

Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

[bms12 in reply to Lou7744]

Thank you xx

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear about the break in. I don’t want to give false hope but if the bleeding is contained by a single panty liner all day then there still might be hope. I really hope this is the case. Thinking of you and hope you get to speak to your clinic in the morning. Xxxx

[bms12 in reply to Hidden]

I think the biggest issue is that I've been bleeding for 3 days and their size. I'm hoping it's just going to be one of those stories about what nightmares they put us through but at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up. A friend of mine thinks it looks like I had identical twins and I've lost one of them but I have no idea. Thank You xxxx

[Autumnmoon]

So sorry to read this just hoping your jelly bean can hang on and catch up sending love to you x

[bms12 in reply to Autumnmoon]

Thank you xx

[Em2405]

I’m so sorry, my heart breaks for you. Hopefully you get good news and all be right with your little one. Crossed fingers and toes for you. Sending you love and good thoughts x

[bms12 in reply to Em2405]

Hopefully, I'm hoping it's just a story we will tell them whenbtheyrenolder about how much hard work they were even before they were here haha. But trying not to be too hopeful as to hurt us anymore. Thank you xx

[emu2016]

Oh this journey! It sucks! When are you next meant to be speaking to a dr? Can you call tomorrow? Sending love xx

[bms12 in reply to emu2016]

Meant to see them Tuesday but think I may ring them this morning and see what they say and whether should go to the epu or not as they only open 8am till 9.45am

[emu2016 in reply to bms12]

Definitely call them. Let me know how you get on xx

[bms12 in reply to emu2016]

I will do xx

[silvanti_78]

Im so sorry to hear. I live In Peterborough & my close friend msg me this : You know the hospital have an early pregnancy unit. If you get any pains etc they can do free early scan - The early pregnancy service is for any women who is less than 14 wks pregnant. If you get any pains, bleeding or discomfort they will look into it. You need to work the system and push for a scan and don't get fobbed off! If you don’t have a bigger hospital in your area . Yes baby bond for a scan . They’re about £90 ! Get your reassurance hun x

[bms12 in reply to silvanti_78]

Thank You, yeah I am planning on ringing the assisted conception unit and ask for their advise and whether I should ring you or not. Thank you xx

[jengi]

Massive hugs to you and sending you lots of positive vibes. Xx

[Wishfully]

Oh no 🙁, I’m sorry to hear this, I can’t even begin to imagine how stessful this is for you both. Sending you lots of positive vibes & fingers crossed your little embie pulls through xx

[Lynnr54]

I’m so sorry to read this. I really hope it isn’t the end for you. Like one of the madiesnhas said, definitely get yourself back down to EPU to get a scan. At least you’ll know one way or the other x

[bms12 in reply to Lynnr54]

Yeah I'm planning on calling them this morning , they only open for 1.45hr though its a joke really x

[Sarahhol72]

Aww I am so sorry to hear what you guys have been through. I will keep everything crossed that everything goes ok and works out with the pregnancy. Big hugs and positive thoughts your way. Xxx

[bms12 in reply to Sarahhol72]

Thank you. Going to call the early pregnancy unit this morning

[silvanti_78 in reply to bms12]

I’ll keep you in my prayers x

[Missy_22]

I’m sorry to hear this so sad lol after yourself xxx

[misswinky34]

💕💕hugs💕💕 praying for you and your bean xx

[Hidden]

What an awful time you are going through :(. Keeping everything crossed for you and sending you huge hugs xx

[bms12]

Unfortunately the heartbeat has stopped xx

[Hidden in reply to bms12]

I'm so so sorry. Sending you a massive hug xx

[bms12 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I think I had already started to cone to terms with it. I just knew. At least I know I can get pregnant now xx

[Hidden in reply to bms12]

You're very strong. It is positive that you can get pregnant so I'll be keeping everything crossed for you for next time. Take care of yourself xx

[bms12 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to bms12]

Sending big hugs and lots of, love hun, sorry this has happened after so long trying, your a very strong lady taking the positives out if this, really hope next time is your time. We're all here for you.

💝😘💝

[Cinderella5]

Oh Im so sorry you're going through this! Lots of hugs.xx

[bms12 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you xx

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and sending you hugs xx

[bms12 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xx

[Kay_x]

Am so sorry to hear this💕, sending lots of love your way xxx

[bms12 in reply to Kay_x]

Thank you xxx

[Autumnmoon]

So sorry for your loss x

[bms12 in reply to Autumnmoon]

Thank you x

[precioce]

Really sorry to hear that this is happening. After my miscarriage last year I thought I wouldn't have the strength to go again. It was the second baby we had lost with 4 rounds of treatment. I needed a lot of time after to heal and to build the strength to go again. Without the time I could not have done it, so please be kind to yourself.xx

[bms12 in reply to precioce]

Thank you, sorry to hear you had to go through this not only once but twice. It's the one thing always said I never wanted to experience. I would find a way to manage if we never conceived but losing one.. is a completely different matter. However I came to terms with it on Monday morning when the scan showed they were 2 weeks behind on development. Unfortunately it was a risk I had prepared myself for as unfortunate and upsetting as it is. It's surprising how mu h love you can develop in 4 weeks. However it is also promising for the future that I will be able to concieve, my concern for then is that it could be to do with my hormones due to Pcos or possibly my insulin resistance caused by the pcos which does make it scary to try again. Good luck for the future lovely xx

[precioce in reply to bms12]

Sorry for late reply. We lost our first little girl to Edwards Syndrome which was picked up at the 12 week scan after our 1st IVF treatment and then the miscarriage just over a year later was heartbreaking. I am nearly 12 weeks pregnant again after our last round of treatment, number6, and all looks OK so far but waiting for genetic test results to come back to confirm. I also found it comforting that I could get pregnant but quality became the main issue for us and we changed our treatment accordingly. Can you have some tests done to investigate the areas you are concerned about more? Sorry, I don't know much about PCOS.xx

[Hidden]

My heart literally bleeds for you 😢 i’m so sorry!! I went through the same but mine was a missed miscarriage, baby measured a few days out and the heart stopped beating at 7 weeks, tested and had Trisomy 22 which rarely survives. Sending you lots of love and strength 😘 in my prayers xxx

[bms12 in reply to Hidden]

Oh no. How did you have them tested? They haven't offered me that option but maybe they are too small. I should have been 8 weeks tomorrow but they measured 6+2 xxx

[bms12]

That is truly awful and I'm so sorry for your loss. I've still got quite a lot of treatment i can try yet, my problem is that I don't ovulate, this was the first time I had successfully ovulated a regular amount of eggs (two) as with clomid I didn't respond at all and with ovulation induction that I've been using - the first 4 rounds I over responded as they kept messing with my medication dosage rather than starting me on a slightly higher one and leaving me on it like I told them too, which fortunately they finally listened to me on the last round, I ovulated and thankfully my husband's swimmers are excellent according to the consultant so we caught on. I'm just hoping that next time they put. However this one seems to be doing a great job of staying put too, the waiting game is torture but I want to avoid a medical miscarriage if I can as my hormones are messed up enough as it is due to PCOS. I'm going to see about a fertility cleanse once I'm on the other side before we start again

[bms12]

I miscarried a month ago. Between the 8th and 10th of may their heart had stopped beating, I passed everything on 14th