Stress levels high - embryo transfer tomorrow

[hoping2021]

Dear Ladies,

I need your advice. I’m due to have embryo transfer tomorrow from Frozen.

However my stress levels are through the roof because of my husbands family (particularly MIL) interfering in some other private matters and has been really nasty to us.

Do you think I need to delay my FET until my stress levels come down.

Has anyone’s FEt worked when stress levels super high?

The only time Embryo transfer has worked for me was when I took a whole month off work. I’ve been on annual leave for 2 weeks at the moment and felt in a really good position until MILs explosive behaviour.

Would be grateful for your advice

Xxx

[McQueeny]

Heya. It’s really tough! Personally, I wouldn’t delay the transfer - purely because I’m impatient and I hate waiting. I’d go crazy delaying after weeks of hormones. I’d do the transfer, and then focus on relaxing as much as possible - go for a walk, watch a movie, get a message etc. Try and reclaim your calm and forget about MIL. BUT - it’s super personal , and it’s important you feel you’re giving yourself the best chance of success - so if you’re feeling really negative about this , do what you think you’d feel best with

Hope this is in some way helpful x

[Tara123456]

I would advise to do what you think you'll be most at peace with. Although there are some conflicting old studies, the latest study I know of cautiously concludes that stress doesn't affect IVF outcomes: sciencedirect.com/science/a...

That's maybe because all your hormones are under medical control. That's just in case you want to go ahead and it might help you put your mind at ease. But you are totally justified in waiting if you feel you have the time.

Good luck!

[hoping2021 in reply to Tara123456]

Thank you both - I know I can rely on this forum for perspective and support xx

[bearblue]

Hey hoping, sorry to hear you’re having issues with your MIL right before the transfer. I can’t imagine how stressful that is. In my case I reached peak stress right before my transfer and considered cancelling. It was also stemming from family and also my partner . I cried in the morning of my FET and I was at such a low. I think my Dr sensed it and told me things would be fine. I don’t know I was moved and decided to trust her. I had my transfer and went for a walk and made up with my partner over ice cream. I’m glad I didn’t cancel I’m 18 weeks. You’ve got this. After your transfer your priority will automatically go to your little potential baby . Everything else is just noise.

[hoping2021 in reply to bearblue]

Thank you - this is so encouraging

[MrsOrangejuice]

Sorry you're having a difficult time. Personally I don't think it affects the outcome. It's upsetting and probably makes the process much more difficult but women still get pregnant in the worst of circumstances and on the flip side, it's why generally most of us have been unable to conceive naturally by just 'relaxing' or going on holiday!

My first fresh transfer I took the afternoon off and tried to reduce stress generally in the weeks after, the second I took two weeks off. Both ended in chemicals. For the FET we had so much stress in the run up, including as our clinic said we should cancel our FET because my lining was over-thickened (helpfully the nurse said we had a one in a million chance of pregnancy in that scenario). I was sick all day for weeks from the oestrogen which I did not get on with. The day of the FET I was on work emails and calls right up to going in and straight after transfer as noone could cover. I didn't take any time off or relax in particular and we had family visiting during the 2WW which meant a lot of cooking, cleaning, and all the stuff that comes with it alongside a busy time at work. Plus arguing a lot with my husband. We're now nearly 8 weeks pregnant

I think it's more if it doesn't work and you feel you weren't in the best place, would you drive yourself mad thinking about it. I was so fed up by the FET and determined that almost nothing was going to stop me going ahead, and am so glad we did.

Best of luck x

[bearblue]

Hey Hoping, if you’ve decided to go ahead - good luck for today !!!