HCG starting to fall, hope dies hard

[LuxFleur]

Our latest (already low) HCG has started to fall now. From 322 to 266. Got the results in the evening after the scan yesterday. We're supposed to test again in two days and hopefully it will have gone down more, meaning that an ectopic is less likely.

I just wonder if I did something to make this happen. If something went wrong with the implantation to interrupt it or what. Up until now there has been that 1% chance that things could be okay.

[Jess1981]

I'm so sorry fir your loss. Miscarriages are so devastating we are so attached to our embryos 🥲 I promise you it is nothing that you did wrong please don't blame yourself. It is likely an chromosome issue with the embryo meaning it would never have survived. I've had 2 chemical pregnancies, a loss at 6 weeks and one at 20 weeks my dear daughter Amelia. I had every test with Amelia and every test for miscarriages and nothing was found. I concluded it was my age ( 39) and a numbers game if I threw the dice enough times I may eventually have a successful pregnancy especially as they couldn't see a reason why I kept losing pregnancies ( one before our 2 year old daughter Francesca and then Amelia and 2 early losses) Some health authorities will allow miscarriage referral after 2 losses especially as its IVF. I'm not sure how things work in France, but it could be worth asking for a referral to a miscarriage specialist ? My miscarriage specialist allowed me to have prednisone for early weeks like I did have with my Francesca.I'm sure they definitely made a difference this time. I have to say even if they don't find a reason does not mean that you can not have a successful pregnancy. It's good it's not an ectopic pregnancy and hopefully your body will just re absorb like my body did with my last miscarriage without too much difficulty. I am very sorry you are going for this heartbreak and I hope the medics are being fully supportive to you. Hoping the next time will be your rainbow baby Xx

[LuxFleur in reply to Jess1981]

Thank you. I have already been put on prednisone for the past three transfers, so we will see. I know that even with the tests you don't always get an answer. With our daughter I guess we were lucky to learn that she had a trisomy that was fatal, but we were told there was a real chance that the tests would not be able to tell us what was wrong, even if something specific like that was wrong. It's just heartbreaking, as you know. Thanks for the kind words. I just feel so sad.

[Jess1981 in reply to LuxFleur]

I'm so sorry, it is the most empty saddest feeling in the world. Apart from prednisone the only thing we did differently was we had a month off trying - after the third loss in a row (4th altogether) it was one loss after another it was emotionally draining. We used the month to run the miscarriage tests. Also to give my poor body a break - we lost Amelia in November, had our second chemical pregnancy in January and the last miscarriage was in March at 6.5 weeks where they couldn't find a sac or any evidence of a pregnancy my body must've re absorbed it. Definitely recommend taking time out to recover physically and emotionally it is such a awful thing to go through. I'm sure that month off helped my body to repair from all the trauma it went through. The support we've had from our miscarriage specialist with this pregnancy has been amazing so if you can get a referral to a miscarriage specialist it's worth doing just for the extra support in another pregnancy ( I've had 2 extra early scans) You are getting pregnant which is encouraging, I'm sure it's just rotten luck it's totally crap and unfair they didn't work out but does not mean another couldn't. Xx

[Char2383]

I’m so so sorry to read this, sending you so much strength right now. I saw my consultant who said that implantation is an achievement and a sign that things can go right. The most difficult thing is finding the good embryo with the correct chromosomes. Chances are after several attempts you will find it, don’t give up hope lovely x x x

[Purpledoggy]

Really sorry to hear your fears are being confirmed. As others have said, this has absolutely nothing to do with anything you did. Please be really kind to yourself-it’s a shit situation and you don’t need to add beating yourself up to the mix. Sending hugs xx

[Hidden]

So sorry to read this. There is absolutely nothing you have done. Having had a large number of miscarriages myself the main thing you can do is focus on grieving for lost hope and then when you are ready picking yourself up again. There is nothing to be achieved by blaming yourself or wondering if you had done x not y because it will have likely not made any difference. Look after yourself, this bit is the worst in many ways, the slight bit of hope even when its really obvious its not going the right way xx

[AuroraXen]

Oh my darling, I'm sorry 💔 I was SO hoping this would still turn around for you. You've had such a rough time this year. You must be feeling so broken-hearted, and it just isn't fair. The ONLY consolation i can give you is that your body can clearly get pregnant (I think mine is just knackered all round! No BFN ever, sigh) and there's every chance you will beat these tragic odds and carry through. I think you said you get quite a few goes in France, on the health service, which at least is a good silver lining if and when you want to go again (and I'm not assuming you would, necessarily - I can't imagine how much this experience takes it out of you). It's so hard, to get so close to a dream. But don't despair, this isn't the end for you guys. I'm just crossing everything that you won't have any complications from this, and it wasn't ectopic or anything after all. Hoping you have lots of support around you xx