First FET Cycle Blues

[Lauto79]

Hey Ladies, so I’m 41 and had my first FET 6 days ago. I’m blessed to have had natural pregnancies previously but haven’t had any success falling pregnant with my current husband, apart from one chemical pregnancy nearly three years ago.

We had a successful retrieval with 9 eggs but on day 5 only 4 remained (they said this was a higher than normal failure rate as they were all looking good at day 3) and we put our only 5AA back and have frozen a 5AB and they recommended storing two together as they were lower quality.

I feel like I’ve hit an emotional wall the last three days and feel quite emotional and irritable very like PMS symptoms and so have convinced myself it’s failed and just can’t shake it off. It feels like grief. I just feel so down. I wasn’t prepared for how mentally challenging this TWW would be and know positive thinking is really required but can anyone relate and has anyone else had quite strong swings in their emotions like PMS (crying and snapping) and still ended up with a positive pregnancy test?

Sorry and thanks for any advice x

[MissSaoPaulo]

You're at the halfway point. I've been on here a while and had 4 transfers myself and I can categorically say that what you're feeling is totally normal. The hormones plus the emotional tension all just seem to build up and become overwhelming at around this point. You'll see so many posts from us around day 6 or 7 when we just fall into despair and convince ourselves it hasn't worked. But this 'gut feeling' you have that it's failed really doesn't mean anything, it can totally go either way still and you won't know until you test.

I think most of us on here would agree that the mental and emotional side of IVF is way harder than the physical side. I can't think of any other situation where the stakes are so high and we have so little control - no wonder it feels like we're going mad sometimes.

Best of luck, hope it's good news for you in a couple of days. We just transferred yesterday so we've got a looong two weeks ahead of us!!

[Lauto79 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Good luck to you too! I’m not to test until the 19th and I’m going to try really hard to stick to that 🤞. I just thought I’d know or at least feel something apart from PMS type symptoms. I try to talk to my husband and he is only entertaining that it has worked, he is convinced….I’m to be positive and it’s sometimes good and sometimes making me worse…the pressure of letting us both down. Trying to be kind to my body too. Take care

[fertilityanecdotes]

I am on my 6th cycle. My last cycle I got so anxious I could not sleep at night, and was crying almost every day. I was so sure it would be negative. I actually had a positive test result! It is very normal to feel anxious or upset- I always say to people who do not understand that I am crying because I am exhausted by the emotional and physical roller coaster!

It may turn out the opposite of what you expect. Good luck!

[Lauto79 in reply to fertilityanecdotes]

Thanks for taking the time to comment and reassure. Did you have any symptoms of note, looking back, since you had your positive result. I’m so pleased to hear you have had success ❤️ X

[fertilityanecdotes in reply to Lauto79]

Thank you, unfortunately not a complete success as we later miscarried, but we got further than before, so not giving up hope! I had some very mild symptoms, about 2 days before test date I was getting dizzy and my food felt like it was not going down. I also noticed each time I got a positive test that I was very teary beforehand. I never realized they were symptoms until after. Some people do not get any symptoms though, it is also hard to know if it is the pregnancy or the progesterone.

[Lkc2015]

I spent the first week crying to my husband that it hadn’t worked and we were wasting our time then tested early got a positive currently 23+6 pregnant, first time it didn’t work I felt relaxed and positive. I think emotions are all over the place with this process and you definitely can’t trust them. It’s tough but good luck for this cycle hopefully it’s good news 🤞

[Lauto79]

Thanks for taking the time to comment. The rollercoaster is so difficult. Did you have any pregnancy symptoms during the TWW? I just thought I’d know based on experience but I feel like it’s all just the progesterone….it’s inflating my boobs like balloons. It’s so hard not being able to trust your own emotions too. I guess it’s all just so hard when you want it to be real so badly. And we wait….I officially test on the 19th and have decided not to test early but maybe that will change when Thursday rolls around! ❤️🤞