I’m feeling so deflated and feel I need to have a rant....
I had my 2nd BFN on 26 April after 2 fresh embryo transfer. On both cycles I had a really good response to stims 21 follicles with my 1st & 18 with my 2nd but ended with no Frosties, I had my WTF happened follow up yesterday and clinic have advised not to do another round due to my age (44) and would be a 1% chance of it working with my own eggs and as they don’t do egg donor it’s probably best to accept it not have anymore treatment.
I understand that they have to be honest but I feel that it is my decision to make If I want to try another round not the clinics, it’s so hard to give up when I feel I’m not ready to yet but then thinking of the reality of maybe I should just take the clinics advise and finally say it’s the end of the road 😢
Has anyone my age got a positive happy story to give me some hope?
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Jamsta77
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Hi, if you want to try again, could you switch clinics? Don’t give up hope if you want to try again, I know someone who had 2 BFP’s at nearly 46, she now has a son and daughter! Xx
I thought that far ahead yet my head is all over the place, There is only 1 more clinic near as an option but we have OH sperm stored after TESE due to vasectomy not sure of protocol if we can have it transferred or he would have to go through procedure again which would add to costs,
You can definitely have his sperm transferred. It will cost you some money but well worth it especially if you have enough left for a few rounds. I did this when I switched clinics.
By the way, if you are not ready to give up on your own eggs, then please go for it or at least seek a second opinion. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and I am 44 years of age.
We’ve done three rounds, the first two using my eggs, which I got a BFP on our first go, I was 38 then, which ended in MC before our 7 week scan. The other embryos failed to implant and 2 we had PGTA tested on our second go, when I was 40 and they were chromosomally abnormal.
So it was crunch time!! The consultant said I had good AMH and could try another round with my own eggs and ‘we might get lucky’
Sorry but for us getting lucky wasn’t good enough, so we decided no point using my eggs as they are clearly blowing dust. It was going to be our final round so wanted to pull out the stops.
Luckily my younger sister offered to be a donor, so we had 3, 5 day blasts from her round. The first fresh one they put back in 12 weeks + 2 today, with our scan tomorrow praying all will still be okay.
For me I had to accept at my age of now 41, I think my odds were about 5 % of ‘getting lucky’ with that weighed up against the emotional and financial cost, I/we had to be honest with ourselves it was never really going to be with my eggs.
Your right it’s not the clinics decision to Make, but they do have a duty of care to be honest with you, and at the end of the day they can refuse to treat you.
The only option you have is swap clinic to one that specialises in ladies over 40 if your adamant to continue
It certainly doesn’t have to be over. You could consider donor egg. I appreciate it’s not for everyone, but I saw it no different to a blood transfusion, bone marrow transplant or organ donation.
I saw that all my sister was doing is donating a ball of cells that’s it
Hey,I just wanted to say I'm so sorry as know how tough it is to go through all the stims to get a BFN.
You responded really well to the stims - that's a good number of eggs. Was it that they didn't fertilise or make it to a 5 day embryo? Understand it's often the Male side that affects making it from 3day to 5day embryo so just wondered if that was an impact to consider?
It's so hard to know what the next step is but it's definitely whatever you are ready for. You could always get a second opinion from another clinic. Some may recommend considering a low dose/natural round to get fewer eggs but better quality. I'd also find a clinic that would do a Donor eggs and you can at least have a discussion if that is something you might be interested in.
Either way wishing you all the best and good luck with whichever route you chose xx
Hi, yes good response, my last round I had 9 fertilised 6 made it to 5 days and they transferred 2 and next day I
got the call to say the remainder hadn’t developed further so we’re destroyed. The clinic I am at don’t seem to do further testing to see what happened I was just told I was unlucky,
Sorry to hear what you’re faced with. I would say though with good fertilisation and good numbers up to day 3, it may also be a sperm issue. Generally speaking sperm DNA take over about day 3 so it may be a fragmentation issue with the sperm. I’d start there if I were you. Good luck with everything, it feels like a series of road blocks sometimes x
Hi there. I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time.Easy for me to say I know but I say don't give up hope... 💕
I would request your test results and embryo reports from your clinic and have a consultation with a different clinic. And ask for their honest opinion on your chances with your own eggs vs donor eggs/other options.
I have read that the London Women's Clinic help women in their 50's have babies...so they may be worth a shot?
From my very uneducated opinion I would say the no. of follicles is a good sign? And you had embryos get to day 5? My clinic told me only 50% of ladies get frosties... And that most women need 3 full cycles of IVF.
I think if you have another consultation at least it will give you options or a greater understanding on what your current clinic is saying.
Thank you I did a bit of researching last night and there is a clinic that does egg donors close by & just have to work out the extra cost and see if we are mentally strong enough to start again x
Give yourselves some time first as it's so hard. But planning next steps has helped me. Xx
I don’t have a happy story as I am also 44, had three chemicals and three MC and in total 6 fresh rounds of ivf (only 3 ‘worked’) I was told even if I got pregnant my egg quality suggested it wouldn’t be a viable pregnancy
The only thing I would say is - absolutely you have a choice, and you can move any stores samples between clinics - you aren’t tied to them
Hello Jamsta77, just to say that I'm exactly on the same boat. Same age and I've just had a BFN from a failed cycle.For me donor egg is not an option as my husband doesn't want to do it.
We had 3 transfer so far starting when I was 42, and no luck.
We are in the process of changing clinic now, because I am really unhappy with the one I'm with right now, given that when they told me that I was ready for egg collection my lining was only 5.8 but they did literally nothing to address it.
I'm aware my chances are low, but we hope we can try one more time hoping t to find a clinic which is more careful.
Hi, I did 2 rounds last year when I was 44. Like you I had a great number of follicles. 19 on the first round and 25 on the second. Only one fertilised on the first round, but it made it to an early blastocyst. The second round 19 fertilised using ICSI, 14 were growing on day 3 and then I only got 3 early blastocysts. 2 BFNs. I'm now 45 and practically no one will touch me with my own eggs as they say they have zero success from it. Like you I'm just not ready for donor, I don't think I gave it my best shot. There are so many things to try; lower dose stims to improve egg quality, all the supplements i never took including royal jelly and DHEA, embryo glue, assisted hatching etc... such a tough journey and a big decision to make...
I'm based in London and spent ages looking through websites that all said the cut off was 44. I spoke to zita west, they said no. I had a consultation with institut marques, they said they'd need special sign off and there was less than 1% chance, so recommended donor. The rest are a blur as I did this on the day I got my BFN. Should have written it all down.
There are people here our age that have had success! One had a baby in April and tried with her own eggs at 44, had 2 embryos collected and one was the golden one!
Hey I’m 42 (43 in July) but have just had a little girl back in late October so not much younger than you. I would agree that maybe an initial discussion with another clinic might help as your clearly getting a really positive result to the stimming and I don’t think it could harm to get a second opinion. I respect that your current clinic are being completely transparent with you as some would probably let you continue and happily take payment, but sometimes a different clinic/different approach to protocol can make all the difference xx
Hi there, I agree with the above comments that this clinic has likely jumped the gun a bit with their advice. I am a doctor (not O+G) relatively early on in my IVF “journey” but the whole thing has been bizarrely difficult in terms of communication / supported decision making, and I’ve been reflecting recently on how much harder I would find it if not medical! Can I ask, what dose of stim did you use and what was the stim medicine?
That's an interesting regimen (I've only ever had it stat - between 150 and 225) and sounds like a reasonable dose they gave you. Were you downregulated i.e. agonist protocol? It def sounds like you were overstimulated, but the fact that you got impressive numbers of follicles and that 6 eggs developed to day 5 on the second go means I think it could well be premature to throw in the towel - as per what others have said in this thread. Why did they not freeze the blasts that made it to day 5 when they transferred the 2 fresh ones? I am about to try a downregulated cycle as I had a strange response to my last egg freeze, and it's made me reflect on the lack of tailoring of cycles to individual women. I think it's reasonable to apply a standard approach for the first try - maybe the second - but after that switching protocol (with a sound rationale for doing so) to me makes a lot of sense.
Hi Jamsta, I'm 43 and have just got a BFP from my 3rd IVF round. I also didn't have any frosties at any stage. The second time, I had 6 fertilised, 1 abnormally so 5 left. They made it to day 5 so they transferred 2 but the rest didn't develop and that was a BFN. This time I averaged the same with 5 fertilised but 3 abnormally which I was very disappointed about but 2 were transferred at day 3. Following on from a post here, I did a bit of research into Dr Norbert Gleicher who specialises in women over 44. He has very interesting ideas about how an IVF cycle should be approached in older women. He thinks that eggs should only be stimulated until they're 16-18mm as they easily over mature in older women. I triggered a day earier than my clinic recommended and took a big gamble. So far it seems to have worked. You have to go with your gut and see what's right for you and if you feel you want to do another IVF then prepare well and go for it.
Congratulations on your BFP it’s lovely to hear/read success stories as it gives hope for others, I think was definitely over stimulating on both rounds I suffered a lot of discomfort and ovaries were very large so this is something I need to look into, thank you for advice and good look on your beautiful journey to motherhood ❤️ x
Thank you so much, this was my last try so fingers crossed all progresses well. I think for me I needed to try something a little different as the other two didn't work. I was also very sore with the second one for about a week afterwards, no bother this time so you definitely could be right on that one. I really hope you can be at peace with your decision whatever way you go xx
Thanks, Axel13, for sharing about triggering a day earlier than recommended. Maybe I'll try asking it.. May I know if you did ICSI with those eggs? My lab says the ICSI can be done only on mature eggs (so I'm not sure if they will discard and waste the small ones)?
No I didn't do ICSI but if they eggs aren't mature, I really don't think they'll fertilise at all whether it's regular IVF or ICSI. The day I triggered I had 10 eggs, measuring 17, 2x16, 4x12, 11, 7,6. So I really thought I would only get 3 or 4 mature eggs which I was prepared to do as at my age it's going to be quality over quanitity but 7 were retrieved. 6 mature so yes I did loose out on the 4 smaller ones. There are so many decisions to make and wondering what's right or not so really go with what feels right to you.
Your clinic is a problem. They should never tell anyone to give up hope. I would switch clinics and find a dr that knows my struggle and sympathize with my efforts. I’m 35 and it took 3 cycles for me to become pregnant so age shouldn’t be a deciding factor. Please don’t give up !
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