end of the road, sooooooooo sad...

[wanttobemumagainat38]

well our short one funded cycle of ivf has not ended happily, feel really really low!!, everything was going so well abut my body let me down with one final blow!!

so.. my story.. first consultation = blocked tubes, low amh, high fs, chances of success <5% ok, lets give it one go...

d/r burselin 3 weeks = 1st scan, womb thining nicely, start 450 merionel stimming

9day scan 5 follies, 1 good size, others smaller, 1 extra day stimm, aiming for 1 egg

ec 22nd march, found 3 eggs, all fertilized!!! things going so much better than expected, there may be hope!!!!

et 27th 1 blasto transferred, wait 1 more day to see if other 2 can be frozen

4dpt start bleeding, hoping it was implantation bleed but turned into a full, heavy period. Result of other 2 eggs= didnt make it to freezer

game over, totally devastated!!!! :

[katiejane74656]

OMG - I was almost crying reading this! I'm devastated FOR you. Having had 2 failed cycles I can totally sympathise. I have no words of wisdom and I won't patronise with "chin up, it'll happen". All I will say is it's ok to feel low. It's like a grieving process. Totally natural - but it WILL get easier. I spent 6 months "grieving" and I still feel low - but not as bad as I did last year. I'm thinking of you and hoping you will feel better soon.

[paeroking]

Hiya hun. I am so sorry to hear your sad news. It is hard isn't it. It is natural to go through the process of all the hurt and upset, you will probably feel very low for a while yet. It took me a long long time and still get bad days now. Feel free to have a rant on here hun bcos we all feel same hun. My heart is with u.

[piperfan33]

So sorry the treatment wasn't successful - I can understand how devastated you feel. I hope you have a good support network around you. Take care. X

[Becky29forever]

So sorry to read your post. I know exactly what it feels like and it is a bereavement. That may sound odd but it is more than an embryo because it was all your hopes and dreams too. It is only natural to feel heart-broken. I think most of us on here have felt that.

I don't know if you are able to try other fertility treatments or self fund but I can say that I have found it easier to cope with the upset on the second and third times because the expectation on try number 1 was so great and after that initial disappointment I have found the others didn't hurt me as much.

I don't have any words of wisdom. I wish that I did. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. For me and my husband, this will be our last FET this week and after that we have decided to call it a day and have made initial enquiries about adoption. I don't know if this is something you would be able to consider in time? For us, our need to be a family is greater than where that family is born from.

IVF is a cruel and difficult roller-coaster of emotions. Its a helluva carrot but the stick is large too.

If you can take anything away from my words please try not to be too hard on yourself. Take some time for you and your partner & be kind to each other. xx

[Hidden in reply to Becky29forever]

Hi Becky, thank you so much for this post. Just finished first cycle and had a negative test. Both gutted and you are right that it is a bereavement because your hopes and dreams of 3 years trying for us are dashed. Didn't have any embryos that they could freeze so we were really disappointed about that. Struggling to think about going through it again as I don't know if I can handle this again but your words have helped a lot. It helps to read everyones posts to know that there are others out there who get how you feel as often our friends and family struggle to. I hope that things have worked out for you one way or another and thanks again. xxx

[Noper]

Hi, I'm so sorry that things have not worked out for you. This experience can be so hard.

It's difficult to say the right thing at the moment in response to what you're going through, and indeed I'm not sure that there is a right thing to say. But I'm thinking about you and,.like the others, hope you have supportive people around you at the moment.

[pumpkin1]

Im so sorry it didnt work for you and your partner. Our first cycle of ivf has just

failed too. Its such an emotional time for you both. I found its made harder by the whole

process that you go through, injections, scans etc, then you dont get the end result. Give

yourself time, pamper yourself too if you can. Take care

[wanttobemumagainat38]

wow, thank you all for your very kind replies, i am lucky tohave a supporting dh and family and friends have been great (well exceopt my mum and dad who didnt think it was worth doing anyway....thats another story!!) we had decided to try once because we were self funding (already have a ds of 6years, but blocked tubes, low amh high fsh meant secondary infertility). dont get me wrong, i am sooooooooooooooooo blessed to have ds, but having ttc for 5 years for a sibling and kept getting told "it'll happen" for so long has made me bitter!! now wish we could do it one more time

[wanttobemumagainat38]

Well, a year has passed and havent been on this site since, just tried to get on with life and knowledge we woukd not have another baby...............but just wanted to ket u all know that there is always hope and mirackes do happen....I am currently 9 weeks pregnant after conceiving naturally,.......dont ask how....we are in shock but sooooooooooooooo happy!!!!

[Hidden]

Congratulations that is wonderful

news wishing you a healthy happy pregnancy. You're right miracles do happen must never give up hope Take care X x x

[manofkent11]

That's just crazy. :0/ in a good way.

[wanttobemumagainat38]

Very crazy lol, thanks girls!! Xx

[PinkCat22]

Sending you so much love. Truly sorry for this loss and hope you are being kind to yourself and allowing yourself to grieve. It's so very painful. Sending the biggest hug xxx