This is just a rant ladies. So as some of you know, my last cycle failed again and we made the hard decision to say enough is enough and stop trying.
So I have 2 aunties and they knew about the 2 failed attempts so this morning I told them about this one failing and our decision. Told them we were both absolutely devastated. One auntie couldn’t have been more supportive and loving. The other? The one I’m actually closest to? Well she said to me well I know you can’t be real parents but you could always adopt? Firstly, if you adopt you ARE real parents and secondly we’ve already spoken about it and she knows we’ve ruled out adoption. I put it down to her maybe not knowing what to say.....
Fast forward to this afternoon and she sends me a txt message telling me my cousin has given birth to twins 😳😳😳. I mean ffs. Am I being over sensitive?? Did I have to know that? Did she have to tell me that the day I tel her that I’m never going to be a mum????
Am I being too sensitive or what that out of order?
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Definitely not been over sensitive some people just do not think!!! Im so sorry that they felt it was ok to do that! People are very insensitive of a situation - i find older people alot more insensitive 🤷♀️ my nan is always putting her foot in it with me 🤦♀️.. Hope you have plenty of support xx
I know she probably didn’t mean it but it really hurt. My mum is her sister and the ivf has really hurt my mum as well. She’s as devastated as we are. She hasn’t even checked in on my mum to see how she’s doing. How are things with you my love? Xxx
Yes im sure it came from a good place but sometimes it would be nice if people think before speaking - yes my friend is quite similar never checks to see how things are she only texts me when she wants something but we have been friends since we was little... She has 2 older children but had a fling and got pregnant with twins and she was sending me prams and asking ne to go to scans with her... She actually said yoi can just live through my pregnancy??!! Whhhaatt i just bit my tounge unfortunatley she lost them but people genuinely do not understand if they have never faced this problem!!Yes im ok no 5 day transfer so back to the drawing board ive had a cry but ill pick myself back up and looking forward to getting some answers from the clinic on Monday and a plan going forward xx
Omg that’s awful. Yeh it’s unreal. My best friend checks in everyday. She has no idea what to say but I know that it’s hard to know what to say so I’m just happy she checks in. She’s never said anything insensitive thank goodness. Oh love I’m so sorry. I was really hoping you would get your transfer. Have they told you anything about why they didn’t make it to day 5? What was the reason they didn’t try a day 3? It’s absolutely shit love. I know this probably won’t help but I kept telling myself if it’s not going to work I would rather not go thru the pain of a 2ww. Thats what got me thru. I don’t know if it will help you. Just know it wasn’t your fault. It’s nothing you are doing wrong. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Xxxx
Yes thankfully i have some other great friends so it allows me to just ignore her!! Im glad you have some good support - no i tried asking the embrologist some question but i could tell she didn't feel comfortable so just left it and though would ask the doctor everything on monday - yes i totally agree but i have the upset of trying to understand why im not even getting to transfer 🤷♀️ we will see ill give it 3 more goes so that will be 6 in total and then im going to go down the DE route i think im ok with it i just want to be a mum by which ever means.. My partner wants to go abroad after go number 6 isn't successful but think will have to think about that when the time comes just dont want to keeo throughing money at my eggs if there no good xx
Sending you lots of strength. I know that’s hard to understand why it’s not happening. You wonder why your body won’t just do what it’s supposed to. I would have used donor eggs if they thought it would have made a difference for us. The way I look it is although biologically speaking it’s not your child it 100% IS your child. You are the one carrying the child, bringing it up, giving it love and a home and everything it needs to flourish. It’s absolutely yours! ❤️. You and your husband need to decide what’s right for you both. If my husband wanted to try another cycle I would have. I woulda tried again and picked myself up and tried again and again. However neither of us wanted that. He saw how much it was putting me through and although he wasn’t physically doing anything it was emotionally draining on him as well. There are no right or wrongs. There are no that’s too many times. There is no right time to stop. You guys do what you guys feel is right cos you don’t want to have any regrets. I honestly hope it happens for you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ps. One of the only reasons I’ve said enough is enough is because when my sister and I found out we would both have to have ivf to have a family I prayed to god and said if only one of us are destined to be a mum then let it be her. I’ll be ok. I don’t regret it cos my darling niece is everything to me. Xxx
Ahhhh it drives you crazy the insensitive things people say without thinking 🙈. I'm sure she could have held back on giving you that news the very same day.
When my Nan came to see me in the hospital when I lost my daughter and I had my daughter in the cot, she was really upset hugging me and said you can always have another!! I just put this down to my Nan been old and having absolutely no filter but still, I couldn't believe she said it!
I think it's really courageous of you to have made the decision that enough is enough for both as it must be so difficult after putting yourself through so much. wishing you all the best for the future 💕xX
Oh god love that’s such a shame. I’m so sorry. ❤️. Some people really don’t think before they speak. They have no idea how difficult it is unless they have been in the situation.
Thank you lovely. I hope you are doing well. Sending lots of love xxx
O my goodness. No, you are most definitely not being sensitive. Honestly, people baffle me..... it's like they have verbal diarrhoea. As if she texts you saying that on the same day! She should have just left it to your mum to tell you at another time. Adoptive parents ARE real parents like you say! And it's a wonderful thing to do but its not for everyone and it's certainly not an easy alternative. And also when we're TTC/going through IVF, people don't seem to realise that we will have checked out EVERY option to become parents and know what we do/don't want to do.
My Step-MIL literally would NOT STOP talking about her granddaughter and people's babies when we were going through multiple IVF rounds. It was like we were meant to take joy from others people's pregnancies/babies when we feeling so vulnerable. It nearly damaged our relationship.
I'm so sorry this happened to you on the same day.
I really hope you give yourself some time and distance and look after yourself and your partner. You'll know what you want to do.
I’m sorry you have such an insensitive step mil. I at least don’t have a lot of contact now with my auntie so I don’t really need to put up with it too much. 🥺. I don’t understand why people don’t realise how hard it is!!
These things always seem to happen on the worst days ever! 😳 Truth is they were coming that day mo matter what and the news on any day would sting but today just feels a
But more like salt 🧂 in a wound that ya just could have done with out. At least it may have allowed you to release you years of pain and help you on to the next part of beginning to process the hurt and pain that you are going through.
Hold on to the words of comfort and let the rest of the hurtful stingy words go. Not worth anymore pain.
I’m sure that took a lot of courage to say what you said. Some people don’t get it. I’m sorry for your pain.
nope, not over-sensitive. That was a silly thing to do, she was incredibly insensitive and unthinking to not think that would upset you. I don't think people do it on purpose, I think a lot of people just don't think, and put their foot in it!
I'm sorry, that's so hard. Reach out to those who are understanding so you get some support xx
Sending a massive virtual hug, definitely not being over sensitive hun. Completely agree if you adopt of course you are a real parent!! But also so insensitive the message she sent later. I think often people don’t know what to say but her response was pretty bad, really feel for you xx
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I wish people would p-off with their happy ending stories! 
Lost my beloved dog and friendship problems 😢
How to tell people to mind their own business! 
