Hi, I would post this in nct, but I left that group because there were too many posts/people that I couldn't relate to. So please no-one tell me to post there 👍
So I'm currently 25 weeks. All scans have been fine etc. 2 days ago a friend decided to tell me about her sister in law who just found out her baby will be stillborn - I won't go into details because honestly it traumatised me. Since then, I've been so anxious, literally reading into every little sensation in my stomach and generally worrying that my little one is not OK.
I do still feel him kick, but the kicks aren't as strong. Occasionally I feel a strong one, but it's mostly little flutters, whereas before I felt loads of strong kicks. I've also had period type feelings in my lower abdomen for the last few days. In general, I just feel like crying. This friend has made me go from feeling super confident to a nervous wreck.
I just want to know if anyone else on here has gotten to 25 weeks and noticed days where the kicks aren't as strong, and if the mild period pains are anything to be worried about. I'm delaying calling the midwife as I don't want to get myself worked up when I'm feeling like this. Anyone?
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Zebedee1971
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Hi lovely, baby and us is a good group on here as lots of fertility network users are now on there. If you feel that babies kicks aren't as they usually are then contact your midwife or the contact number given in your notes and get checked over.
Thanks, I didn't even know about this group. I'm delaying calling the midwife until my pregnant friend has been over, hoping she can reassure me, as I know if I call now I'll get myself in a real state. I really wouldn't be feeling like this if it wasn't for the horror story I was told, I'm sure all is fine, I can still feel movement and I have had days where baby is quieter than usual, just feeling really panicky.
Hi lovely, sorry to hear this. I think from start to finish there is always something to worry about. Number of eggs, fertilisation, embryo numbers, BFPs, BFNs, making it to viability scan, next scan etc... And to be honest there is always something on here that scares me - BUT everyone is different and just because it's happened to someone else doesn't mean it will happen to you. Try to focus on yourself and don't over analyse. You wouldn't have even thought of it unless your friend had mentioned it. I think it's a bit of a cruel thing to tell someone who is pregnant! xx
My mum was horrified she'd told me the story- if I relayed it all here it'd scare the hell out of anyone. It's 3 years getting this far and now I'm on the verge of a panic attack because I've felt slightly less kicks than usual. People really have no idea the damage they can do. Trying to keep calm and not overthink everything 😕
I was told if I felt worried about baby moves and baby wasn't in her "normal " pattern to call maternity department. Sometimes they will advise you to have a ice cold drink and walk about to "wake" baby up. The amount of movements and strength of movements will depend on the position the placenta is- mine was anterior which meant her moves weren't strong- I only felt her move when I laid down. Her moves were only stronger when she was getting big near full term ! Your midwife would always prefer you to contact them if you sit at home worrying. I also second babys and is you will see some happy familiar faces Xx
I have a feeling it might be that baby is upside down?? I usually feel kicks in my lower abdomen but today I felt a couple of strong ones above my belly button, and more subtle fluttering lower down earlier in the day. Possible baby has moved position. I think this is more likely than the worst case scenario. But her story has really really got into my head.
There will always be stories ( I've had late loss and 3 early losses) but honestly the vast majority of babies are born fine. Losses like that are incredibly rare thankfully. Pregnancy is anxious after infertility. I've heard of babies surviving after 24 weeks. Talk to your midwife they are very supportive and they will reassure those late losses are so rare. Keep an eye on your baby's movements as that is a good indication of their health- all baby's patterns will vary but if the baby isn't following his pattern then call the midwife. They won't mind. Xx
Yes definitely had the same feelings in the second trimester, I remember panicking on Christmas day when i couldn’t feel a thing, but when you get to 30 weeks the movements will be super strong and there will be no mistaking them. Keep reminding yourself it is incredibly, and i mean incredibly, rare for something bad to happen to a baby post 20 weeks. You are now over half way through and all your checks and scans so far have been perfect.
A rather distant friend of mine did exactly the same to me and started telling me a very unfortunate story. Straight after she realised she shouldn’t have said anything and i was really disappointed in her for opening her mouth. Even before i went through ivf and got pregnant i had the sense to never mention a miscarriage or anything like that to a pregnant woman!
The mind is powerful and can trick you of things that are actually not happening, i have been very nervous during this pregnancy and have totally convinced myself of bad thoughts loads of times but luckily my sisters and friends have brought me back to earth. (Im now 35 weeks and although trying to be as positive as i can, the whole infertility/ivf process never leaves you and in many ways you carry some sort or survivors guilt)
I would say get yourself a private scan, it will give you the reassurance you need and you will feel so much better seeing them on screen. Try to stay away from negativity, i know its difficult, but you have worked so hard for this and you deserve to enjoy it. You are past the first trimester and will be entering the third one soon, you can do this xxx
Thank you, this is reassuring. I do know it's rare for things like that to happen, I don't know what's gotten into me. I was literally traumatised by the message she sent. I still don't know why she'd think to send it. It's not like we were chatting, she typed it out for me to read. Trying to calm myself down. I see my midwife next week and have 28 week scan in 2 weeks time. So I'm just going to hope I get a good kicking tonight as he usually likes to beat me up before bedtime x
If you’re worried, go get checked. The antenatal midwives never mind a quick check. I was so anxious throughout my IVF pregnancy. I got checked out 3 times. Always fine but they reassured me it was fine to get checked.
There are lots of old wives tales and myths out there about babies movements.
I called my midwife as I wasnt feeling an awful lot. They told me to phone maternity triage who asked me come along & get checked out. I felt a bit daft but went and all was ok and was really glad I went. They also couldnt have been any nicer and told me if I was ever in doubt to ring them as that's what they are there for. I was about 25 wks at that point and my kicks didnt get much stronger till a couple of weeks later. I'm not sure if you know if your placenta is at the front but it can dull down movement quite a lot!! My advice would be to get checked out, it's so worth it!!xxx
Not a bit of wonder you are worrying. Please call your midwife as soon as you can and get checked out . Hopefully this will be all the reassurance you need 😘🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💖
Ahhh everyone’s always got a rare horror story - ignore it, that poor lady will have a particular set of circumstances and health profile that can never be compared to anyone else.
It’s tempting to ‘catastrophise’ every little thing (I do it myself - currently 31 weeks pregnant from ICSI) then I go to appointments and see a room full of pregnant women and realise how normal it is and how the overwhelming majority (like reaaallly overwhelming majority) come out absolutely fine and dandy. Every single human you know was a little baby once inside their mummy’s tummy at 25 weeks old and they all made it.
I think the fertility process, alongside lockdown and too much time to think really makes it worse. Your baby will be fine.
I am however a fan of a private scan! Partly cause I love having all the little pictures and partly to put my mind at ease 😊 although haven’t done one since 16 weeks cause the 20 week scan was absolutely fine and I’ll be having a growth scan at 32 weeks.
When someone wants to tell you a story about their pregnancy you should stop them and ask if it has a nice,happy outcome!if not tell them sorry but you are not interested at this particular moment to hear that story because your doctor has said to you not to get stressed..simple..this is what I learned in my antenatal classes!!
Secondly, if you have any doubts about the well being of your baby always call your midwife..that's their job,to listen to you and check the baby and believe me they are super nice and will do it..
Thirdly on 25 weeks baby still has plenty of space to move and it's not that strong yet to feel that will kick your belly off..as someone said there are other reasons (placenta position,baby position etc)
You are fine!Baby is fine but if you want to reassure yourself call midwife,go to the triage!xx
Hi with my 2 girls I hardly feel my babies kick much they’d ask me if I felt movement I’d say yes, with this baby movements are super strong feel him constantly but I think the placenta must be in a different place & it’s a boy maybe why.
If you’re worried contact your midwife have you had an app lately? u should have had one at 25 they usually check with a Doppler the heartbeat. I hear more and more about stillbirths so it is worrying especially if you’re had losses before or a hard time just getting where u are now I just try not to think about it.
O my goodness. That's so unbelievably unfair for your friend to relay this unfortunate outcome in detail. You need to distance yourself from this. It's important to remind yourself that they are RARE.
I had a similar situation. Someone I knew also had this happen to them when I was 26 weeks pregnant and it literally sent me into a spasm, when I thought I'd reach a fairly "safe zone". I cried, couldn't think straight and worried about every little or lack of movement. I would often go in the middle of the night to get checked out and lost count of the times I went there for reassurance. But I'm so glad I did as I was reassured each time and they never once made me feel stupid. My babies movements were all over the place and he never had a "set pattern" which made me on high alert. Any doubt, get it checked out. You'll feel better. Xxx
I'm glad it's not just me who let's things like this fester in my brain. I was so content and confident with how things were going, even bought the Pram etc... Then I just went into a massive tailspin. A big crash back to reality! Luckily I can feel loads of movement tonight, feels like he's turned upside down as kicks feel further up. Going to try and remember the chances of something going wrong after everything else has gone so well is highly unlikely. Thank you x
Yeh it's a horrible feeling. I'm glad baby is going wild for you tonight. Knowing sods law you probably won't get much sleep. Haha. Yes that's it, extremely unlikely, try and relax and believe in your baby and your body, it knows what it's doing. (Wish I'd taken my own advice and not spent week's worrying and just enjoying every moment) I miss being pregnant so much. But you've got way more to look forward to once baby is here. Exciting times for u ☺️ xxx
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Friendship advice please 😢
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