Sperm donor

[Bluedestiny]

Following our initial consultation with our consultant we have found out that my husbands sperm count is very low (it’s 2000 we knew this already so not a surprise) but none of his sperm move at all, he is having some tests to see if all sperm is dead or if there is a defect why they aren’t moving. But we know deep down that it’s not going to be good news. We are devastated because he has said from the beginning that he wouldn’t want to use donor sperm because he would always have the niggle in his head that the child wasn’t his. I fully understand and appreciate his feelings but it is heart wrenching that we may be at the end of the road before we’ve even started. I just wanted some opinions if anyone has had this issue where sperm is present but either dead or not moving. The Dr said it’s very unusual as it is more common that there is none there at all.

Just want to say as well this isn’t meant to cause any offence to anyone that has used or is using donor sperm so I apologise if it reads that way. I would happily use donor sperm but we are in this together and I have to respect his feelings.

I also need to have the AMH test as they are pretty sure I have low AMH. I’m just so gutted.

Lots of love xx

[LCharlton]

We have not had this exact issue, but we are turning to donor sperm after 3 cycles of ICSI/IMSI have been unsuccessful due to my husband's sperm problems. It has taken him more than a year to feel ready to use donor sperm and there has been a lot of thinking and a lot of different feelings but he is now really on board with it. Just to say that it's really normal to feel like you can't deal with donor options but if it comes down to a situation where that's your only chance for a baby, feelings may change over time. We spoke to friends who have a donor egg family and a friend who went the single mother route with donor sperm and hearing their experiences - and seeing their lovely children - was really helpful xx

[Bluedestiny in reply to LCharlton]

Thank you so much for replying and sharing your experience. I know we don’t know for sure yet but im almost certain that’s going to be the option. I really hope he changes his mind but I don’t think he will. Life is so cruel I’m all over the place with emotions atm. So sorry to hear about your 3 failed cycles. Wishing you lots of love and luck for your next step xx

[leo1980]

Hello lovely. I am sorry to hear your news.. it all sounds so overwhelming for you both. You don’t say how old either of you are or if the doctor you saw your was fertility consultant or a urologist.

If possible, see a urologist who specialises in men’s health. Have you tried the proxceed etc?imprly - you have to take those for 90 days or so to see any results but worth a shot? Might be worth to see if diet and supplements can make a little difference too or if the urologist has any ideas. At e end of day we are only looking for one good one..

we have mild sperm issues - more morphology (which is one thing that can’t be improved) but that and my age we are looking into egg donation. It takes time to get your head around but you will get there when you are ready. Best of luck! See a urologist to explore options

[Bluedestiny in reply to leo1980]

Hi Leo sorry delayed reply I am 33 my husband is 36 it was our fertility doctor that we have seen. It has just been the most emotional week I knew going into this it would be really difficult I just didn’t expect this before we even start. We are going to do the tests and if the results are what we expect them to be, I think then we will see a urologist to see if there is anything we can do. Thank you so much for your reply x