embryo transfer

[Ooela]

Hello lady I am now 12 days afther my embryo transfer I did a Pregnant test this morning and it came up as not pregnant I feel very let down as I am 29 and been marrind for 10 year I still dont no what stopping me from geting pregnant with out the ivf as over this lock down happin my mom and dad give me 10.000 to go for IVF I was on a waiting list for NHS to find out what was wrong with me but I just jump to IVF as my mom and dad give me 10.000 and told me dont wait just go and if u need to go again we will give you the money I feel like I let my husband down aswell as my mom and dad I was hoping I was pregnant as I feel good only got a littie bleeding only when I wipe and I have all the cramps but I feel like I was not pregnant but my mom told me that was only me thinking that as I have no hope good things like that will happen to me hope who ever go for IVF it all work out for ye

[magda22]

Oh darling, im sorry to hear this. It is not your fault and you have not let anyone down!! It's not you causing a problem, and it's not thinking negative thoughts that makes this happen. Definitely not. It's very complex processes in cells, it's nature, the doctors don't even understand it all. Even with all the money they can't guarantee it will work. I know it's so hard and so sad. Many, many people have at least one failed ivf, and they go on to have a success in the future.

Have you asked the doctors if they have a diagnosis of what your infertility issue is? And done all the checks for your husband too? This is important.

You are very young, so you have excellent chances it will work in the future. It's a hard journey. Be kind to yourself, take time to think and feel, talk to your husband and parents (if possible) before you go again. If they are not supportive, reach out on this group.

Sending love xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Ooela. You must not feel so guilty about all of this. Your parents wouldn't have offered to help if they didn't want to. Sadly it looks as if it has failed this time. However, once you feel able, get back and have any check that you can to see whether you need any treatment before embarking on further IVF. Do make sure you take up any offer of counselling, so you can talk over your feelings and any fears you may have. Thinking of you. Diane

[IvfStruggler]

My dad also financially helps while we are doing IVF and I understand some of what you are feeling. Everytime it fails I feel so bad and worry I'm wasting his money. But when we talk about it he always tells me that he feels happy he can help us this way. He always tells me he thinks I'm so brave when there is so much dissapointment and heartbreak in this journey. If they have offered to help I'm sure your parents are lovely people who would not like to blame you at all. I do not know if you are able to talk with them about how you feel but I always find this really helpful. When I tell my partner I feel like I let him down- he says that I'm crazy as IVF is such a difficult and random process that you have no control over. It's blaming yourself for not being lucky. I really hope you are ok in this difficult situation and that you take extra care of yourself. Sending ♥️