Scan alone

[Frogmore12]

I just wanted to put this out there as it made me quite feel annoyed also very anxious for my next scan

I went for my first scan, I felt so so scared as I had been bleeding before and in pain.

I’m sat in the waiting room of the hospital feeling faint sick alone, I go in for my first scan alone.

Next scan Iv got which I been told will check for embryo and heartbeat are shown on the scan so far sac and yolk, this will now be in a different hospital, Iv been told will be alone no one allowed even in the hospital let alone the department.

I really can’t get my head around this.

I can sit on a plane as I have recently with someone sat next to me I don’t know anything about.

I can sit on a bus, I can go to a local league football match not professional with 200 fans plus

I can go in a super market , no limits now just walk in notice not even sanitised trollies

But my husband and we are in the same bubble can’t come in the scan to check my baby has a heart beat.

I feel really strongly about this it’s such a tough time of us women going though it also for our partners that’s sat in car park waiting.

Im scared will u even be allowed a partner at a birth soon.

I know Boris was very supportive of this but local authorities don’t seem to be following it

X

[ADC2019]

There has actually been lots of petitions regarding this. I'm sure last article I read said the guidance was that partners were allowed but then individual CCGs were not following guidance. If you have time I would see if your MP could contact CCG on your behalf. It's really not fair. Hope you manage to get resolution and everything goes ok x

[sazzle2680 in reply to ADC2019]

Hi, I work on maternity services for a CCG, it’s not the CCG’s decision, it’s the individual hospital trusts that make the decision, but the decisions are based on pressure from the Royal College of Radiologists. Best off contacting the PALs service within the hospital. If you google the hospital they should have a link to their PALs.

Good luck x

[Goldie24]

Hi, just wanted to say I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t even imagine how truly awful it must feel to be alone in these circumstances and it makes me very sad that your partner is not allowed to even be close by for support to be called in if there is a problem. I’m a midwife and we have faced a lot of backlash from patients over covid policies particularly surrounding partners not going in for scans (routine scans, different from the early scans you are going through) and I really feel for them as they are missing out on so much. In our hospital the rooms are so small and the waiting room only allows 9 people in when adhering to social distancing and as there are several clinics ongoing at the same time it is impossible at the moment to have the patients and the partners in. The rooms where the scans take place are too small for three people to social distance in and as the sonographer has to be so close by for a decent period of time it is thought that this would put them at more risk. You will probably find that most staff on the ground would take this risk if it meant a partner could be there to support a patient but The policies are decided by the people behind the scenes who have a legal obligation to keep us safe and may struggle to defend the decision if a member of staff fell ill. It’s a complete catch 22 and sadly it does seem that the patients are suffering. Have you thought about writing to PALS just to put your experience across and see if anything can be done to compromise? On another note, I’ve had people literally screaming in my face because their partner can’t come in to find out the gender of their baby (completely different circumstance to yourself) which has been incredibly hard whilst I’ve been going through a very long and complicated IVF cycle myself over the last year and would give anything just to be at a stage where I could even consider what gender my baby was. These are such awful times and there is so much disagreement about how this situation should be handled. Sending positive thoughts your way and I hope your hospitals policy relaxes a little soon x

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry it’s very difficult going into a scan alone- I had my dating scan 2 weeks ago & hubby wasn’t allowed to attend. I’d also had bleeding too & it was the first scan so I wasn’t sure if my baby was ok or not.( I have had bleeding in other pregnancies & 2 out of 3 were okay but never nice to see blood ). I felt awful hubby couldn’t share the moment of seeing our baby for the first time he was sad about it I got some nice pictures but not the same ☹️ I feel so sorry for women who face miscarriage alone 😭 The sonographer was great really tried to put my nerves at ease & understood why I was so nervous. All the receptionist said to me over the phone was “ dads can allowed the 20 week scan” very presumptive to assume all would be okay 😬 then somographer told me he might not be allowed & rules might change. He’s not allowed to attend any of my growth scans. We’ve booked a private gender scan for 3 weeks time in case he’s not allowed to attend. I feel it’s awful men are missing out it’s not right it’s half their baby too☹️

The other things we are allowed to do is to purely boost the country’s economy & doesn’t mean it’s safe necessarily. I think they should ease the restrictions- perhaps they could COVID19 test the dads? The whole thing makes me very angry .

I hope you get good news & can give you the reassurance you need xxx

[Ivfgotadream]

I know it’s hard - I’ve done everything on my own this pregnancy - egg collection, transfer and all scans - I’ve had 5 or more scans as having twins and have had a several miscarriages and ectopics In the past. My first scan when I was finding out if it was ectopic wasn’t nice and part of me wanted husband there but at the same time I just needed to look after me and not worry about anyone else. I’ve also previously had a 12 week scan where no heartbeat was found so very triggering for me. I understand the rules are there for a reason - to keep us all safe. And to be honest I agree with them. Also most of the scans never run on time - nearly 4 hours sat in an uncomfortable chair in a relatively small waiting room at the 20 week anomaly scan and consultant appointment this week. I got on with some knitting and chatted to the other ladies. I actually prefer the waiting rooms like this - quieter, no bored looking partners hogging the seats and a sense of Camaraderie that we are all in this together.

I’ve been told although having a c section and twins partner won’t be allowed once I’m out of theatre and out of recovery - he’ll get a couple of hours with us and that’s it. No visiting hours. I’m scared about that but again at the moment with the amount of new infections and deaths I’d rather that then put myself, babies or others at risk

I’d book some private scans where partners are allowed inbetween the NHS ones so he can come to some and at least feel involved a bit

It’s hard to make men feel involved even at normal times - best will In the world it’s just a picture on the screen to them until a baby actually arrives - they don’t feel the movements and the symptoms and the emotional connection we do at this stage x

[Ketkoot]

I get ur frustration and I work in the NHS!

We seem to be lucky and our fertility clinic are letting my OH in for our first scan on Friday at 8 weeks. As long as everything is ok on Friday we will be transferred to the local NHS for the rest of the pregnancy and he would not be allowed to be at the 12 week scan. It makes no sense! What is the difference??!

I work with cancer patients and when they are being told their diagnosis or treatment plan they often have 2-3 other family with them. Why is that any different for us?

I have signed petitions on Facebook that other pregnant friends have shared to try and change the rules but while the number of COVID cases goes up nothing is going to change!

All the best with ur scans! X

[Beanybeanz]

I have my NHS viability scan a week on Monday (after having IVF).

Because I know my other half won’t be allowed inside we’ve actually booked a private one for next Friday (two days before nhs one!). I figured if it’s good news great - I’ll go into the Monday one confidently by myself, but if it’s bad news a) I’d rather know sooner rather than later and b) he’ll be with me in the private one and c) it’s then the weekend so if it’s bad news he won’t have to go off to work the next day!!

I think I’m just doing a bit of self preservation, trying to take a bit of control back where actually there is no control 🤣. It’ll make me feel better anyway 😀.

Could this be an option for you to make you feel at ease? I think mines about £70.

[Frogmore12 in reply to Beanybeanz]

That’s a good idea, in my town now there is only one private clinic now as the other clinic closed down it’s such a long wait to get in privately.

I want to do it under the private health care then under NHS is Iv got a doctor that is now happy to monitoring me herself she has even given me her mobile number. My worry was if I went to the private clinic there is no doctor there only Sonographer in my town clinic , I know they know there stuff but if something she felt with me was wrong as I was bleeding I was worried and wanted a doctors opinion.

Once I know on my next scan everything ok 🤞🏼🙏🏼 I will then go back.

I bleed very badly after the internal scan too, so i will probably wait until I’m a bit further along as it really scared me.

X

[Hidden]

I have a scan on tue I’ll be 6w+1 my prev pregnancies I found out at 12w scans and 9w that I would mc so getting an early one this time I am anxious I’m going alone as all the rest were bad news not sure how I’ll deal with it on my own if it is again. But also the fact I’ll be the one who’ll have to tell my fiancé the outcome it’ll be fine if it’s ok but if not 😔

[Twiglet2]

I would defo contact your MP. My OH was allowed in at the 8 week scan but I had 2 before that because of bleeding where I had to go alone And it was very scary! We got our letter in for 12 week scan and it says I’ve to go alone ‘where possible’ I phoned up because nhs Scotland made a commitment that partners were now allowed in and they said the letter was wrong that we both could attend so I would defo phone and challenge it and quote any info nhs web pages have on it As well as get MP support xx

[fertilitystruggle]

Hi Frogmore,

I’m so sorry to hear this but I do understand how you feel.

For my this cycle due to covid my husband wasn’t even allowed to come inside with me for the actual embryo transfer. I cried so much In the toilet before going in because I felt so lonely and nervous.

I have had three scans with the hospital so far and not a single one they have even allowed him to come in. I have felt so alone through this whole process as his never allowed to attend any appointments.

I am due to have my 20 week scan in 4 weeks and my hospital have finally allowed him to join.

Sadly even with giving birth the hospital is not sure what will happen as guidelines keep changing.

This whole process just sucks right now for all of us.

Your not alone 💛