I had my tubes removed last week and am still recovering so feeling a bit sensitive, my husband broke the news to me last night that his sister was pregnant and she was nervous about telling me herself. I am so happy for her but my reaction wasn’t great which upset my husband. Even know it’s great news for them and I knew it would come soon because she hasn’t hid the fact that they were trying, I just didn’t want to hear it when the news came I feel so bad about how jealous and upset I got. Then felt bad that she had to tip toes around me etc, then felt angry that my husband didn’t understand and got upset with my reaction! Now feel exhausted by all the emotion of last nights news....
Feel sad that I know what’s coming now! Your turn next! When are you doing it! Come on hurry up you two! Your not getting any younger! Knowing that we have a long ivf process ahead I am already feeling exhausted emotionally just thinking of all the comments coming our way but feeling annoyed with myself because it’s not her fault, I am angry about the person this turning me into. All I want to do is come off social media and turn my phone off, feel like such a cow...
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Ariel_the_mermaid
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Awwww, so sorry you're having to go through this. I think you'll find a lot of people here know exactly how you feel. The jealousy and then the guilt is just awful, and you feel noone understands what it is you're feeling. But the majority of people on here will understand.
My only advice would be to just give yourself a few days to feel grumpy about it, let it all out, scream, cry, drink wine etc. I have perfected the smile and fake congratulations to people's pregnancy announcements. As for your SIL, i know you feel guilty about the tip toes, but atleast she has been sensitive about the whole thing, which is a good thing. You may find it easier to speak with her etc in time. Just don't beat yourself up about it. My husband used to get so annoyed with me too, saying I should be happy for friends/family etc. It was only when I sat him down and made him understand how I feel, that he stopped giving me a hard time. He knows now that when we get a pregnancy announcement, I will feel sad for a few days, and will just need him to give me a hug and reassure me. xx
Hi thank you for your lovely comments and yes she has been so sensitive the way she has gone about it bless her, she should be jumping for joy but yet she was worried about my feelings! I do have a great sil that’s for sure.. am sure I will be fine in a few days and we and my husband have had a chat so he is being a bit more sensitive too. Thank you for the reassurance xx
Sorry lovely its such a hard time isnt it. I just went through the exact same situation TIME TWO! the babies are here and i love cuddling with them but it was a hard 9 months. Both of the familie members know abt my long struggle and trust me it doesnt stop them posting pictures and telling me about every detail. I guess for me there is no other way to deal with this. I just keep believing it will happen one day for me!
Hi Ariel_the_mermaid. It's not unusual to feel like this, when every other woman seems to have a bump or a baby. Just remember you have ad an important operation done and you will soon be on your way with treatment. When you feel a bit stronger, why don't you invite your sister-in-law round for some lunch and have a chat about your anxieties together. She will be just as anxious about a pregnancy and birth, as you are about your forthcoming treatment cycle. Hope you can do it, and I shall be thinking of you. Diane
Thank you Diane and yes I have passed an important milestone this pass week by finally having this operation done and now there is nothing holding us back from starting ivf. I will be fine in a few days am sure
Hey. Try not to beat yourself up for these feelings, it’s a totally natural response. I remember being in the same position and it felt like EVERYONE was having babies during the 4 years it took us to have ours. We had all of the comments too and it used to annoy me so much that people could be so insensitive with those comments as it does hurt. I actually did leave all social media platforms about a year into our 4 year journey and it really helped. I also became quite open about our struggles so as to stop people making insensitive comments (although with some, it still didn’t stop them).
Your husband is probably upset for you as well as it’s never nice seeing the person you love in pain.
Be kind to yourself and take time out if you need too and never feel bad for your feelings. I hope the healing process is quick and you start to feel better soon xxx
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