Need help snapping out of this funk!! - Fertility Network UK

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Need help snapping out of this funk!!

RT0516 profile image
12 Replies

Hi everyone, I'm currently on day 11 of buserelin jabs with my down reg scan on Wednesday (eek!) Very new to this forum thing and all the IVF jargon that goes with it so apologies in advance.

I feel like I'm going mad through all of this. No one in my life understands what we all go through in this journey and I just feel so alone. Half the time I don't even want to talk about it but I still find myself getting upset no one's messaged me to see how I'm doing?? Is that weird?

I'm hoping others have gone through a similar experience and can try and help me handle this feeling of negativity.

My husband tries his best to be there but as we're going to be doing ICSI, I know he's feeling a level of guilt himself.

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RT0516 profile image
RT0516
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12 Replies
Judy18 profile image
Judy18

Firstly congrats on getting this far. I really struggled with buserelin.

It is hard because unless you have been through it you cannot understand. My sister is so freaked out about my infertility that she just doesn’t mention it. It hurts but some people don’t know what to say (they should still be supportive though).

Also I spent ages trying to be “positive” but it is not always easy or healthy. You are allowed to feel your feelings. This is a pants journey and not for the faint hearted. So feel how you feel but remember you are a warrior and you have totally got this!

Sending love and hugs xxx

RT0516 profile image
RT0516 in reply to Judy18

Hi Judy18,

Thanks so much for your reply! Buserelin is s toughie!

Your words have helped me so much this eve, thank you so much, it's relieving to hear that what I'm feeling is 1) normal-ish and 2) allowed (if that makes sense?). It sometimes feels like I have to try to be positive ALL the time on the outside when what I feel inside conflicts that.

Wishing you all the best on your journey ❤️ xxx

Judy18 profile image
Judy18 in reply to RT0516

I am glad that has helped. It is exhausting trying to be positive all the time. You need to do what is best for you and need to make sure you are ok.

Everyone on hear has been really helpful so know that there is support here when you need it.

Much love and hugs xxx

Pickledjo profile image
Pickledjo

I completely understand how you are feeling.

I have been on this journey 3times and as hard as hard is for me, it is hard for those around you, esp. when they havent had to go through it themselves. First its hard as for some reason there is still a stigma around IVF and infertility that makes it so hard for others to talk to you about it, esp if they have the lil people you so crave. Its also hard for people as they do not understand whats involved or how to support. Its not a negative on their part, and i am sure that if you pick the phone up and call and get a convo going, they will always be there after that. Like i said, its still seen as taboo for some x good luck x

Loma1 profile image
Loma1

Hey

Putting aside all the personal feelings and psychosocial factors contributing to your mood ....

buserelin - the most common side effect of this drug is depression. Not surprising considering it’s impact on your natural hormonal cycle. Some of what you are feeling is chemically induced so no wonder it’s hard to ‘snap out of’!

Acknowledge the funk, and plan some nice things to continually boost you everyday ... fav foods, music, activities (exercise endorphins are good!)... try and reward yourself. With friends, I kept it secret - until I needed a different voice in my head and just bombarded a friend with it all. I felt better for talking, even though she knew nothing about ivf to reassure me.

Altering hormone levels is savage on your mood - give yourself some slack, it won’t last forever Xxx

Mayo1983 profile image
Mayo1983

Hi I completely understand how you feel! I told my sister and a friend and I felt like neither of them gave me the support I needed. Ultimately I got that support from my partner and it brought is closer together. No one understands who isn't going through it themselves. Hang in there, you're nearly finished the buserelin- remember it causes mood swings and sadness so don't be hard on yourself!

RT0516 profile image
RT0516

Thanks so much everyone!! I've never joined forums and stuff before but reading your messages has made me feel so much better since starting treatment!

I know I'm being overly hard on myself and getting in my head a little.

Loving the feel of community here and how everyone just 'gets it'.

Sending lots of love to you all on your journey xx

Seb1900 profile image
Seb1900

Hi ,

I know how you feel. we are doing icsi. This is our 2 round. Our first round (Failed)which was last year, I took the buserelin Spray. I really struggled with the horrible test. This round however I chose the injections which is a lot easier and I only have to take it once as opposed to the spray which I was taking 4 times a day.

Today is 13day of down regulation. I have a scan on the 12 of Oct.

I was the same. I had no one to ask me how I was doing. It was just my husband and I. But sometimes I just wanted to talk to someone else so I tried to talk to one of my friends it didn’t help . I was so resentful. Unless it is someone who has gone through this or someone going through it they don’t understands how it feels.

I know it is easier said than done but it gets easier just don’t loose hope. If you feel like it have a good cry it always helps.

Last year I was angry at everyone, had no hope. I shut my husband from start to end not because I resented him or anything but I didn’t want to talk to anyone. This round however I have a good feeling that it is going to work. I make myself busy with work and study .Now I barely think about it. Even if I think about it it doesn’t make me sad or cry.

I hope it gets easier for you and your husband . And I wish you a successful cycle.🤞🏽

RT0516 profile image
RT0516 in reply to Seb1900

So sorry for the late reply! Been off this for the past couple days.

Fingers crossed for your scan next week!! Not a fan of nose sprays so can imagine it was horrible to do them 4 times a day!

I spoke to my friends this weekend and the only thing they said was that they are not sure they would even say anything to anyone. Helpful. Just made me feel like I was wrong for even saying anything. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Probably won't reach out again, which is sad.

So happy that things are going better for you this time round xx

I felt and feel just the same Ive just completed my ET yesterday with great results I gave my self a pat on the back and told myself how friggin good I am x it feels like it’s only you this is happening too but it not xx I’m here if need to chat x I’m having icis as well I’m on my 2nd fresh cycle and had a FET in February With a positive test results but had miscarriage in March x I promise you it’s worth it at the end of the medication when you see all those follicles you’ve produced x remember your amazing and you can do this x

RT0516 profile image
RT0516 in reply to

Ahh thank you lovely. Always here for you too! So much easier talking about it with people who have been through it

Feeling a lot better today although still a bit teary at times! 🤦🏽‍♀️ Xx

I know your get very emotional on the medication but let yourself have a little cry if you need too I’ve had many a melt downs even in the nurses office x and don’t stress be positive that’s all you can do xx I’m now on tender hooks waiting to see if any of the 3 embryos can be transferred on Wednesday honestly it’s never stops just the waiting wanting to know if everything going ok 😩😩 but it happened last time I’m saying to myself so it should happen this time just trying to keep myself positive and busy xx

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