BFP after miscarriage

[Dylan88]

I've just got a postive on a hcg urine test after a frozen cycle, following on from a previous cycle where I also got pregnant but sadly miscarried at 5 weeks. We've been trying for almost three years, and with the previous miscarriage I don't know how to relax and not expect the worse again. Has anyone else had something similar? I feel totally unable to celebrate the BFP, I just have it my head that it will fail again and I kind of don't want to allow myself to be happy, because it feels like I can't get attached as it would make the loss worse when it happens. I have awful cramps and I'm so scared its a sign that another miscarriage is inevitable- but I know this can also be completely normal at 4-5 weeks. I also find myself obsessing about how weak the positive line was in comparison to the test line, as I know it should be pretty dark at 11dp5dt (although it was only 3 hours worth of wee as I can't sleep so can't hold it). Can anyone recommend anything that helped them keep calm? Any coping strategies? I'm trying to do breathing exercises to keep calm but I feel very tense and I can't sleep- I'm not sure I'm able to deal emotionally with another loss it was so painful last time. I'm really sorry if I sound ungrateful, I know that there are people on here who would like to be in my shoes.

[Chloettc2020]

Pregnancy after loss is so hard. But just take one day at a time & for that day you are pregnant ❤️ I found yoga & meditation helped me xx

[Dylan88 in reply to Chloettc2020]

Thanks Chloe. That is good advice- I will try to each day just say to myself that I am pregnant this day and take the days as they come.

[Chloettc2020 in reply to Dylan88]

I know it’s easier said than done. Congratulations btw 😊 Wishing you a healthy pregnancy xx

[Twiglet2]

Totally understand this and I’m in the same boat 🤗 I was recommended the mindful IVF app by ladies on here which helps and doing nice things with family and friends. I’m not going to lie though it’s very scary/stressful but hopefully you will have a scan in a few weeks that will settle your mind a little. Sending you lots and lots of relaxing thoughts and of Course Congratulations 🥳 xx

[lizzybee81]

Congratulations, I feel exactly the same though I haven’t had a miscarriage and this is my first ever pregnancy. All around me I see family, OH getting excited and I feel like such a party pooper. Our viability scan is on the 23rd and to me it’s going to be confirmation if there’s something there not how things are going. I don’t feel like there’s anything to celebrate until at least the 12 week mark but feel like I’m the only one that thinks this. Just trying to get through day by day

[Dylan88]

Thanks guys for all your kind words of support. Its good to feel like theres other people feeling the same feelings as me- this process can be so isolating- especially as I don't have any friends who have been through IVF - the stakes feel so high because the barrier to getting pregnant again is so big. I'm feeling a little calmer after reading your replies and after having finally slept properly last night- I was just so exhausted that I sank into a death slumber. It helps that the cramps have eased off today. I just hope we all get through this to become parents to happy healthy kids one day.

[DC5867]

It’s awful, and so very difficult. I had a series of miscarriages and still can’t tell you how to make it better the next time. I think all you can do is take it one day at a time. Today you are pregnant so there is no need to panic! Deal with tomorrow when it comes, and every day your pregnancy gets stronger. I think distraction is also good, if you can organise some nice gentle activities with your partner to keep you busy then at least there is less time to sit around and think about it! Congratulations and best of luck x