Donor eggs

[JaneHaley]

Hello everyone , I have a low AMH which has been declining and obviously not helped by waiting list for IVF and lockdown delays. I am about to start my 3rd round of IVF, our last two cycles were not successful , first time no fertilisation and second time only 1 embryo made it to day 3. I would say I have been a poor responder the the meds. I was wondering if there is anyone reading this who has used donor eggs? And if so , what brought you to that decision ? I feel like it might be our only option as my own eggs don’t seem to be up to scratch. Also , are there any books anyone would recommend ?

[User20]

Hi JaneHaley, I don't have much of advice/experience but I'm interested in what other ladies comment. I'm in the same boat as you are. I have 2 unsuccessful rounds of ivf - 1st round no eggs, 2nd round 1 egg collected which fertilised abnormally. We have decided to not do a 3rd round as I didn't feel much hope with my own eggs and finances would only allow us one more round of IVF - either a round with our own eggs or donor egg. We are currently exploring the donor egg route. We have a counselling session arranged for next week which with my clinic is a requirement before starting the donor egg journey. There's a lot to get your head around. I guess I'm just not ready to close the door on being a mum. I'm hoping the counselling session will help me to make that final decision. I wish you all the best for your next round of IVF, after all it just takes one egg! Fingers crossed for you x

[JaneHaley in reply to User20]

Hi User20 thank you so much for your message, nice to know am not alone in this thought process! I am the same , don’t want to close the door on being a mum, also the rates for success are very promising - around 52% lead to a live birth, much better then my success rates at the moment . Do you mind me asking , how does your partner feel about it ?

I have just started a book called Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation. I have found it helpful so far. Best of luck with the counselling hope it goes well.

[User20 in reply to JaneHaley]

I'll have a look at this book I think. There's also a podcast which I found quite helpful - it's called BFP and they are talking about different things, but they followed a couple (the fox's) that are contemplating donor eggs.

A friend of a friend of ours have a child through donor eggs and we found talking to them really helpful.

In regards to how my husband is feeling - I think it's easier for him than for me. It'll be his sperm and I guess he'll see me through pregnancy. It hits me every so often, that I won't have that 'he/she looks just like you' / 'mini - me' experience though....

[minnesota_girl in reply to User20]

Hi User20 - I'm in the same boat also. Have you had any further advice/thinking since this post?

[Luna_79]

Hi jane - We are in a similar position and looking likely this is the route we will need to persue . Ultimately I want to be a mum we want to be a family , I think just so many questions so like you we have a counseling session booked - my hubby just wants a child As so I - until today we thought There were sperm issues, well there were initially issues but it seems that the consultant said today that this isn’t the reason embryos not implanting but hubby has always said that he would be happy with sperm donar - I would have struggled with that I think and didn’t know how I felt about a donar egg - but I had always thought I’d rather that way around - donar egg and hubby’s sperm as at least I get chance to bond as the baby grows and hubby would have that bond with it being genetically his. It’s hard no decision is easy during any of the IVF journey. But I wish you much Much luck with this cycle and hear if you ever want to chat x

[JaneHaley in reply to Luna_79]

Thank you so much for your reply , wishing you lots of luck for the future too,keep me posted on how things go for you.

[elinamonkey]

I started the IVF journey in the UK in 2018 when i was 37. My FSH was above 9.2 and I was not eligible for the the NHS IVF as the hormone status was an indication that I would be a poor responder. I did not know nothing of ED at that time nor believed would eventually need. Then moved to France where law is more subtile. Despite low AMH and high FSH state financed two rounds of stimulations which did not give anything. Then I started looking at ovarian rejuvenation, DHEA and plant therapy until the doctor told me "Save your money for egg donnation-you will need it". I wad devastated to hear that but I accepted my destiny.

I did my second ED cycle few days ago and hope this time it will be positive. The first one was positive but ended in a Turner syndrome so had to have medical abortion. So even with ED is not a straightforward journey - at least not to me.

[JaneHaley in reply to elinamonkey]

Thank you so much for sharing this , I am so sorry to hear what you have been through it must have been very hard. I wish you all the best for the next 2 weeks x

[_Emilie_]

Hello,

Have a look at the instagram account called definingmum , she is an advocate for egg donation, having gone through it herself. She shares a lot of resources.

Wishing you all the best 💕

Emilie

[JaneHaley in reply to _Emilie_]

Thanks so much for this xx

[minnesota_girl]

Hi Jane, I'm in the same boat as you - I just posted today a similar question. I'm on the brink of making the same choice - we'll likely do one more round normal and then we'd look to potentially use donor eggs. It's hard, isn't it. I don't have advice but just wanted to reach out and say hi, and that I understand where you're coming from. x

[FluffyPink in reply to minnesota_girl]

Hi JaneHaley & Minnesota Girl,

In quite a similar boat to you although further on in the process (plus I am 44!) We are getting ready for double donor transfer in the new year. This UK organisation is great - lots of helpful resources and stories from donor families:

dcnetwork.org/

It is a shock at first stating out on the donor track but I would recommend lots of counselling. We are excited to have this chance after four years of failed treatments. Best of luck to you both. xxx

[SurreyRed]

Hi Jane, I've just seen this post and wanted to comment. I'm on a journey using donor eggs. My first two IVF cycles using own eggs ended badly (poor quality eggs) and I was given less than 5% chance of success with future cycles. Up till then the idea of using an ED horrified me but after discussing it with my husband and a counsellor, I quickly came round to the idea.

Somebody once said it's not the perfect way to have a family but it's the way to have my perfect family. We love our partner and pets unconditionally, even though they're not genetically related to us, so why would we not love a baby growing in our womb. In almost all cases, a woman using ED bonds with the baby long before it's born. You might not be the genetic mother but you are the biological mother as the embryo absorbs your blood, tissue and lifesource to grow into a baby. Studies are constantly proving the biological connection.

Feel free to DM me if you have any questions. Also worth checking out Donor Conception Network. They can arrange for one of their team to call you and answer any questions or concerns you have. There are regional groups where you can meet other women in the same boat as you.

Wishing you luck and happiness on your journey xx

[User20 in reply to SurreyRed]

I'm currently waiting to be matched with a donor. I love your attitude about how we love partner and oets unconditionallly. It is so true, I have never seen it in that way! 😁

[jengi]

I have low AMH too. My geriatric ovaries weren't very good at doing what most ovaries do very easily. My first round on short protocol resulted in only one egg which failed to fertilise. Round 2, 3 & 4 were cancelled. Round 5 with long protocol we got 3 eggs, 1 mature, 2 immature. The 1 mature egg failed to fertilise with ICSI. One of the other eggs matured over night and fertilised producing a low grade 3 day blastocyst. We transferred it but it didn't work. By this stage i was an emotional mess, this journey truly broke me, i was a shell of my former self. We then made the toughest decision to move to donor. It took me a year to get my head around the idea and accept that if i wanted a baby this was our only chance apart from adoption. My husband so badly wants to be a father, so i guess in some ways i focused on the fact that our baby would have his genetics. My younger sister offered to be our donor but her AMH was lower than mine, i was devastated. So we moved to anonymous donor. It didn't work first time.... there are no words to describe my despair. The second time we got lucky and i have just had my 12 week scan today. This was our last attempt, i feel so grateful but terrified that it could be all taken away from us any day. A real mix of emotion. Feel free to private message me any time. Wishing you every bit of luck.

[Pinkpaw2]

Im 34, I was told at age 22 I was going through early stages of menopause and only way to be a mum is using DE all my sisters offered to donate to me 😊 I took my older sister on her offer as we are so much a like our journey started beginning of this year had ET in March we got 10 eggs only 4 fertilised 3 are in freezer I’m now 31 weeks pregnant , feel free to PM x