Waiting for fertility tests

[EmeraldSky146]

Hi - I am new here *waves enthusiastically* and relatively new to infertility. My partner and I were going through tests just before lockdown struck - I have pcos and my partner’s semen analysis test wasn’t 100% and we are waiting for him to do another one.

I live in Scotland where fertility/IVF clinics have opened back up but as our tests are at a hospital not connected to an IVF clinic I’m not sure when we might find out more about further testing and next steps. So, I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions for things I could do or I can say to myself to help keep myself sane whilst we wait for things to get going again? I worry that if I am already anxious/stressed how will I cope further down the hypothetical line (this is all not helped by having been furloughed so I have all the time in world to google all possibilities) and it would be good to hear how others manage.

Any advice/tips are much appreciated

[cggregory]

Welcome! It’s tough not to spiral when you don’t yet have a concrete plan in place...especially during a global pandemic 🤦‍♀️ My advice would be to be gentle with yourself - don’t beat yourself up if you have negative feelings. Try to sit with them; give yourself a bit of time to feel sad/angry/overwhelmed. And step away from “Dr Google” as much as possible.

I found counselling really helpful, if that’s your thing. BICA is a good resource. It sounds silly, but I also started following a lot of IVF meme-type accounts on Instagram, as sometimes you just need a bit of humor. Binge-watching Netflix has also been a comfort. And of course this forum is wonderful, with such lovely, supportive people who know exactly what you’re going through. Best of luck! We’re here for you❤️❤️❤️

[EmeraldSky146 in reply to cggregory]

Thank you for your lovely message 🤗

It is definitely a lack of concrete plan - and I sometimes try to accept it would be this way without the pandemic - that there is always uncertainty in life and you can’t control everything, e.g. not knowing if treatment will work, etc. And other times I get annoyed at myself for feeling anxious/upset when life could be a lot worse. I’m not sure if I deserve to be struggling. But staying present and just sitting with the feelings is something I need to do better at. I will explore counselling and the meme accounts sound very up my street. Thank you again x

[Twiglet2]

Welcome 👋🏼 The waiting is harder than the treatment I think 😊 tips I would say a balance of getting your body and mid prepared for the journey ahead and also enjoying all the things you can just now before you fully embark o the rollercoaster of IVF and on to be a mother.

Are you NHS and had you finished your testing before COVID? If so you might also be able to chase up your results and next steps with the hospital and whether they have been transferred to the IVF clinic yet? If nothing else it would give you something to keep you occupied and in control of something 😊 xx

[EmeraldSky146 in reply to Twiglet2]

Hey 😊 Thank you. The waiting is probably not helped by me being impatient and wanting things done yesterday. NHS, I’ve had all my tests but waiting for a repeat semen analysis test for my partner (had one which we both expected to be “normal” as we had been referred due to my pcos but it came back with low motility). That was due to happen early April but was cancelled. We phone up the hospital every couple of weeks and the reply is always like ‘not open’ but it always feels like a really positive step (oddly) 😂 x

[Rain415]

Hi! It has been a year since our tests and I agree with what others have been saying try to step away from dr google! I was a nightmare with google and convinced myself I had low progesterone due to shortish cycles and stressed about it to find out my progesterone was absolutely fine. My husbands first test came back boarderline not great, so did the second then they referred him to a urologist. He was was told to stop smoking, eat better and be more active. I’ve found the hardest is not knowing when next steps will be so I’ve been taking it one month at a time and stopped beating myself up when I get my period but think ‘this time next month I’ll (hopefully)know more and be a step closer to a plan. All the best! This is a tricky time for all of us but this forum does help!

[EmeraldSky146 in reply to Rain415]

Thank you. I'm sorry you feel similarly to me, but also it's kinda reassuring to know there are others out there who feel the same - we're not alone. Definitely agree with about the uncertainty surrounding next steps. It would just be nice to know 'right you're being referred for IVF/ICSI' or 'we're going to try you with clomid first' or 'we have more tests up our sleeves'. All the very best to you too. x

[Weareback2]

IVF is definitely a waiting game. All the best of luck.

[Sorax]

I’m quite impatient and like things done as soon as possible all this has taught me to be patient and you will need it as it’s all just waiting and waiting 🤦🏽‍♀️

don’t be hard on yourself stay away from google aswell I was quite good and never googled much and deffo helped. I also had counselling too which helped as the emotions can be too much and sometimes you just need to have a good moan as a lot of people don’t understand. Try keep busy distract yourself with exercise,tv,reading whatever you enjoy. Your time will come wishing you the all the best 🥰🥰🥰