It’s my first post but I have been following the fertility Network forum without commenting or posting for a long time. It has been a great support, thank you!
I m french so sorry in advance for my English.
I m 43 (may 2020), I already had 2 fresh embryo transfer, unsuccessful, 2 embryos transfer and then 3, at day 3, graded top quality.
And then we have decide to change clinic from C&W to the Lister.
The new clinic decided that I have to have to remove the fibroids which where maybe a problem as they were distorting the uterus.
I had an open myomectomy with one of the best fibroids surgeon in the capital. But before that we decided to have 3 consecutive cycles, batching. So at 42, We had in total 7 top graded blastocyst.
Myomectomy in December and then hysterescopy to check the uterus in March and then lockdown...
The operation was successful, my periods had drastically changed, less pain, 1/4 of the bleeding I used to have. Anaemia gone, just a paradise.
Finally we had the chance to have our transfer the 8th of June, 4aa embryos, and 12 days later big fat positive (delayed testing so apprehensive). You can imagine our joy.
It was unbelievable.
I was having all the symptoms possible, I was pregnant.
And yesterday for the 7 weeks scan, there was a gestational sack, a yok sack and not the embryo, no baby.
I felt like a fraud, I never imagine that.
I have done almost 15 pregnancy test, all strongly positive... what was the problem.
The response was, it is very common, particularly in my age group.
They asked me to come back next week for a scan and to continue my progesterone.
Of course I can’t continue my progesterone, I have 100% pregnancy symptoms and it is unhealthy to feel like that when they say that they are sure 95% that there is no pregnancy.
So I called today to explain that I will stop the progesterone if I m not pregnant anymore, not funny to have all this symptoms if they are sure that I m not pregnant, as they know when all this happened, embryo transfer date the 8th if June. They finally said yes stop your pessaires, you don’t have to take them for another week. Unbelievable.
It’s a long message.
I would love to know if someone went through this and have hopeful experience to share.
We have 6 embryos left (bless them), we hope that at least one of them will be viable.
We are totally lost, sad and désorientés...
But we are very positive and we always think that we will be there one day, even this news we take as a hope, we get pregnant even if it ended sadly like this.
Thank you, hope to have some responses and support, please.
All the best for everyone
Written by
Oumichka2015
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So sorry to hear this 😢 We had a difficult week of waiting between two scans too, but unfortunately our worst fears were confirmed. I’m really hoping it’s a different outcome for you and you get good news next week. Be kind to yourself and I hope you have good support around you 💕xx
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. We had similar earlier this year in January, where we went for a scan, and they saw a sac but no fetal pole , and had us come back in a week. At that next scan, we had a fetal pole, yolk sac, and heartbeat. It was measuring 11 days behind where it should be though. So we were cautiously optimistic. Then 2 weeks later it had stopped and they called it a missed miscarriage. So definitely a big rollercoaster and in the end was not positive to us, although we did have a bright spot after that horrible first scan.
So sorry to read your story. It happened to us. From natural conception, which was miraculous in itself. Unfortunately the scan revealed no sack. I had all the symptoms for two more weeks... It is heartbreaking to feel pregnant and knowing there is nothing...
My attitude was that we have lost a pregnancy but not a baby, there was never a baby there, no heart. That helped a bit. Now I'm dealing with the feeling of failure and disappointment in myself. And it all happened in April 😢
We already have a boy from the ivf so I guess it is a bit easier but still hurts like hell.
April is very recent, it must be very difficult. Difficult to digest.
You have done nothing wrong, please don’t be disappointed on yourself.
From what I have been told by the consultant it represents 50% of the miscarries, and it is most of the time missed. So it happened sadly to you but you have done nothing wrong.
I think everyone is advising me to be kind with myself, I will really try hard, it is important for our sanity 🙂
I think even if you have a kid (bless him), it is hard what you are going through, it’s hard and only you know how you feel.
I don’t know how to send a private message, I will try later, I just would like to know if possible how it has been treated, naturally, with médecine or an operation. I understand if you don’t want to share.
So sorry to hear this. This also happened to me, from and IVF pregnancy. The wait between that first scan and the second scan 9 days later was just horrific. I could not stand the waiting. It was not good news and i had a missed misscarriage they told me.
You need to allow yourself time to grieve for your little embryo and everything you had hoped for the future. This happened to me after almost 5 years TTC and 2 rounds of IVF. It seems so unfair that we go through so much, actually seeing the embryo that is being put in to us, knowing it is there, positive pregnancy tests and symptoms, and then to have it snatched away.
I have not had a successful pregnancy yet but i have hope still for the future. It will be a bad time for you for now but you will recover and start to feel a little better each day. Sending lots of love xxx
Thank, sorry that it happened to you, 2 round, it is very hard...
You are right the most difficult is feeling pregnant, I woke up this morning with all the symptoms, something which I loved having 3 days ago have become a nightmare today, unbelievable. That’s life, there is nothing we can control. I used the word cruelty, but my partner reminds me that I m not alone, it is not against me. Just sad.
Thank you for your encouragement.
I wish the very best for a close future, it will come.
Also i see you have replied above asking about treatment. I chose to have surgical management which involved going under General Anesthetic. This was the right choice for me as it was all over and done with within a few days of second scan luckily with little physical implications or pain. There is also medical management with tablets that you usually have then miscarry at home. I understand this can be quite distressing. Theres also the natural option where you wait it out to miscarry naturally. You will know whats best for you. Lots of love xxx
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, big hugs xx
I had that experience too a year ago and I know how horrible it is. I went for a 7 week scan feeling so positive and confident, was shocked to find out that there was just a sack and that’s it. I had to have a D&C as didn’t want to wait for it to all happen naturally. Pretty sad experience! As for the age, I was 32 and the doctor said it happens often, means that there was a defect with the embryo.
My heart goes out to you. You still have a few embryos left so don’t give up and try again soon
Thank you very much. So sorry to hear. It is really sad, we just don’t what to think...
We had a difficult day yesterday, sad, sad, now I’m totally afraid to start again, I don’t know if I can go through it again. I’m starting to think about egg donation, my partner is positive and think we have 6 embryos and we should try again when we are ready.
So we will see.
I m waiting for the second scan and dealing with my symptoms and sadness.
Yes, you still have 6 embryos so 6 chances. I know right now it’s hard to stay positive... my doctor said that time that it’s bad luck.
One thing I would say is that I’m glad I chose to deal with it surgically as opposed to waiting for nature to take its course. It was all very quick and I think I was able to move on a lot faster because of it.
Wishing you all the best and many many hugs xxx
Im so sorry. Any type of a miscarriage is just horrible to live through. Here we are expected to think positive but sometimes it just hits you deep in your very core. So sorry and i hope time will heal you soon hun. Xx
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