Ectopic 💔

[Patches86]

6w3d today and went for my early pregnancy scan with all my positive thoughts only to find out it’s an ectopic pregnancy. I’m absolutely mentally and emotionally broken, at this point I just can’t see any positive in the future, life is so unfair. I’m not experiencing any pain or bleeding but I’m so scared with everything I’ve read about it. Please can anyone who has experienced this reach out to me - I’d be so grateful for any help and support. Thank you

[12356]

I have not experience it, but I just want say am sorry for your loss and also to send some ❤❤❤❤❤and hope your way,

Pls be strong okay, i know is easier say than done but be strong. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Cinderella5]

Hey Patches, Im so sorry....I cant offer any advice but I just wanted to say Im thinking about you! Lots of love and hugs.xx

[Nat246]

Hi patches I have had ectopic pregnancies and they are truly crushing as you don’t just lose the baby you want, but also often have permanent damage to reproductive system.

Where is your ectopic?

What treatment have they recommended? There is a drug or surgery depending on how progressed the pregnancy is.

Thinking of you and here if you have any questions xx

[Maryc32]

I had one in February last year, it was my first and only pregnancy after trying for years. I found it very difficult emotionally and was angry and sad for a long time afterwards.

Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve, and seek help if you need it.

I know it feels like the end of the world now but I promise you’ll be able to move forward one day in the future (just make sure you take as long as you need! Xxxx)

Physically I lost one tube and was left with IVF as my only option (I’m mid first FET now) because what I didn’t know beforehand was that my other tube was already blocked. BUT I have known two women that have had ectopics and a tube removed and been naturally pregnant within a year. Hope that helps xxxx

[danae35]

I don’t know if I can say I know how you feel, but I understand as well how hopeless we feel and disappointment... life is unfair sometimes but we have to be strong and move forward, not easy but unfortunately is not in our hands all the time.

Lots of ladies over here are supporting and the stories and strength we all have amazed me

Stay strong and send you lots of hugs xxx

[Peanutchips]

Oh my goodness, I’m so so sorry to hear this Patches. It’s heartbreaking. I haven’t experienced this myself but wanted to say I’m thinking of you and to send lots of love. If it helps at all, I know someone from work who had an ectopic and lost one of her tubes (it was devastating) however she got pregnant fairly soon after and now has a little boy xxx 😘

[CLDxxx]

I’m so sorry Patches. Sending you love and hugs 💞xxx

[TexasRose210]

I'm sorry for your loss 💔

[Hidden]

I cant offer any advice but just wanted to say how sorry i am and sending hugs and prayers. Hang in there Patches xx

[Ivfgotadream]

I’m so sorry

I’ve had two live ectopics and both ruptured ultimately losing both tubes within 18 months.

It’s an awful experience - I’ve had 5 miscarriages but I found my ectopics harder to deal with.

I hope you are with a compassionate and understanding hospital - my hospital arranged a full funeral service for my ectopic babies (I don’t know if this is because they had heartbeats) so if you are offered this I would seriously think about accepting it as it was a good way to mourn and bring closure and gives me a place to go when I need some time by myself

Have you been offered methotrexate? If you are given the injection please bare in mind you mustn’t get pregnant for 12 weeks (or 6 months if you have 2 injections) as it’s incredibly dangerous to a new pregnancy - most doctors don’t really understand ectopics and there is a lot of misinformation around

The drug also makes you feel crap for weeks and makes you feel sick if you drink alcohol even though it’s tempting to numb the pain with a drink (it’s usually used as a chemotherapy drug)

Please message me if you need any information- I’ve been through it twice so know more than I ever wanted to xx

[Jonesy84]

Hi patches86 i am yet to have my first IVF treatment but seen your post and wanted to send my love and hugs as I am sure this is a very sad time for you and your partner xxx

[Buisquits]

I am so sorry 💔 all I can suggest is counselling, talking to somebody in partial helps.

Sending you load and loads of love xxx

[CocoSelena]

I am soooo sorry for your loss!! I had an ectopic pregnancy and it was the most emotional things I could endure. But I haven’t given up, I’ve tried again and thanks to IVF I am 6 weeks and 6 days with the baby in the right place! Both of my tubes are damaged. Don’t give up! It will be worth trying when you see your new baby!!

[Dylan88]

So sorry Patches. Also no experience here with ectopics but wanted to say that my heart broke for you reading this. Xx

[Picalilli99]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Such devastating news. I have not experienced an ectopic so cannot offer advice. I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for your loss and send love and hugs ❤️ X

[kitscat]

I am so sorry lovely! What a horrible thing to go through. I ha we had 2 ectopics and I’m still battling through. What have they advised as the best plan? I’m sorry you feel awful but I promise you that you will feel better soon xxx

[MumofaSpaniel]

I am so sorry to hear this x

[kc21]

Sorry to hear this xxxx

[FrancyItaly]

I’m so sorry to hear about this. It’s very unfair, painful and worrying. I can’t give yoy advice but I wanted to share this with you. A friend of mine had an ectopic and unfortunately lost a tube, but she got pregnant naturally soon after that and now she has a gorgeous little boy!

I hope you have all the support you need and that you’ll have your baby very soon x

[Lots8788]

Im so sorry hun. big hugs to you xx

[Faith103]

So sorry to hear this ❤️ I had an ectopic this time last year. It totally broke me. Take time out to grieve and look after yourself. I managed to get babies ashes which I still have now on my mantle piece. This gives me some peace baby is still with me. Unfortunately I lost my tube as my ectopic had ruptured in my tube but I am now 6 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby. Never give up... look after yourself....❤️ xxxx

[Coral86]

I’m so sorry hope ur ok xx

[Debrakay1704]

Thinking of you and hope you get all the support you need xx

[Hidden]

No experience of a ectopic pregnancy but very sorry for your loss. It is hard to feel positive after a loss, most women who suffer a loss will go on to have a healthy baby. I hope you have plenty of support around you. Give yourself time to grieve xxx

[Abbyoj]

So sorry to read about this situation, lots of hugs and kisses to you. This too shall pass

[treezuk]

I had an ectopic with one remaining tube and it frightened the life out of me not knowing wether I’d lose my remaining tube etc and was told if I did it was IVF or nothing to have another baby I lost it and couldn’t cope and asked for a few days to decide what to do I opted to have the methadrexate injection to try and save the tube and thankfully it worked however months later I found out I had premature ovarian failure so I needed ivf anyways that wasn’t linked to the ectopic it was a seperate issue.

The injection works well before a heartbeat is detected but they told me they don’t like to use that method after that point but do discuss all the options with them

[Sammy246]

Hi Patches, I cant offer any advice but to let you know that I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending you lots of love and hugs xx

[Exhaurex]

Hi patches I have had 4 miscarriages and an ectopic. The ectopic was probably more difficult to get your head around. I didn’t have a rupture but I did have a tube removed. And started ivf a while after and now I’m 38 weeks pregnant it’s just one of those horrible things that can happen. So please don’t give up there are so many positive story’s.

And yes I know it says that your likely to have another but that did not happen for me.

I hope you keep trying and grieve for your loss as no matter what anyone says it was your baby just in the wrong place. People tried to tell me atleast it wasn’t a baby and that was so much harder to hear. 💕💕💕💕

[Weareback2]

Oh sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself xx

[Drneko]

I’m so sorry you’re having a difficult time. I found out I was having an ectopic pregnancy in January. I was very lucky that it failed naturally so other than weekly scans and 2/3 visits a week to the EPU for bloods (I think they call it the conservative method of treatment) it was long and drawn out. I wanted to share my experience with you because 6 weeks after diagnosis I had a normal period with no known lasting damage to the tube. I hope you are as lucky but do be kind to your yourself and take time to recover. I am now 14 weeks pregnant and so far so good. Conception, pregnancy and loss is the hardest experience of my life but it’s been easier with supportive friends, pregnancy loss counselling and healthy eating(plus lots of tea and chocolate on the down days!) sending you supportive vibes xxx

[Sasha1111]

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss! I have had 2 ectopic pregnancies, the first I had my right Fallopian tube removed. It took a long time and a round of IVF before I fell pregnant again resulting in my son. 10 months after he was born I fell pregnant again naturally, this was sadly another ectopic. I barely had time to think about it, after my scan I was admitted for surgery and wasn’t allowed to go home. I lost my remaining tube. I’ve since had 2 FET, one failed and most recently a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks! It’s utterly devastating and takes some time to recover from physically and emotionally! Thoughts are with you and hope you have support from friends and family! ❤️

[Hanneesweedie]

So sorry to hear this! I have had an ectopic pregnancy, but I had symptoms very quickly- bleeding that did not stop quickly like it did after a miscarriage, and pain in my groin area on the side of the ectopic. Feel free to message! Xx

[Shelleybean]

So sorry Patches, this is beyond cruel, no wonder you are heartbroken and exhausted with the process in every way. Just looking at your profile/ prev posts and hope I’m right that it looks like you may have conceived naturally twice in the last 18 months? Despite the heartbreaking outcome each time it does mean that there really is hope and positivity for the future. Even if you need IVF going forward, your chances would be boosted quite a bit by the knowledge that you can get pregnant naturally. Just wanted to say this so that you know when you have worked through some pain and taken time to re-gather a bit of strength that there is hope for your future in terms of becoming a Mum.

We would never have done a 4th cycle of IVF with my own eggs (and now had an 8 week old little boy) if we hadn’t seen a baby on scan on our first cycle, even though this resulted in an early mmc. Even though it might not feel like it right now I feel like the babies we lose are sometimes sent to remind us that there is hope and give us the strength to continue our journeys, but for now I’m just sending you so much love 💕💕 xx

[KirstyC90]

Hiya,

I’m so sorry to hear you are having an ectopic pregnancy. I have had one and I am here for any support you need. I understand it’s completely devastating and I am so sorry it has happened to you. Best thing to do is follow doctors advice, and look after yourself. Sending lots of love xx

[Daughterofaking]

Hi Patches, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. May God give you the grace to heal completely and courage to move forward. Sending lots of hugs. x

[HopeOfYou]

Hi lovely, I had an ectopic after my second Ivf cycle, it was my first ever positive test... I was heartbroken, and had to had my tube surgically removed because it was ruptured.

Fast forward my third cycle (icsi at another clinic), I got 3 embryos, and the one that was cryopreserved gave me my DD, almost a year ago.

Looking back, the ectopic pregnancy made me realise I could get pregnant, keep your hope up!

Good luck for everything, and take care ❤️

[River4553]

Hi Patches - I'm in the middle of dealing with an ectopic pregnancy myself. I actually had my ectopic from an IVF cycle - which is rare but I guess still possible for the very unlucky, like myself. I knew from the very beginning that the pregnancy was nonviable, so I think it has helped deal with the emotional burden. Although it is absolutely heartbreaking no matter how you look at it. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I had my first methotrexate injection on Friday, June 26th, and then you have to wait a week to see if it helps bring your hcg levels down. Other than feeling a little tired (which could also be a result of the emotional stress) I feel physically OK. If this shot doesn't work, they'll try another injection. You don't have to wait 6 months for 2 shots, at least my doctor isn't telling me that - only 12 weeks after your last shot. My husband and I have been trying for 2 years, this was our first embryo transfer after 2 rounds of IVF egg retrieval, so the heartbreak was pretty unbearable the first few weeks. I'm rather numb to it right now.

I hope that you can be kind and gentle to yourself. I've been asking myself what I would say to a friend in this situation and then say it to myself. There's nothing you did wrong, and you don't deserve this pain. There is ABSOLUTELY a light at the end of the tunnel and no reason to think you won't have a healthy pregnancy in the future. If anything, it shows that you CAN get pregnant - just have to find the right implantation spot. It will happen for you, even if it's hard to see that now. And this loss will always hurt - but less and less so.

I'm so sorry for the heartbreak you're feeling. Feel free to message me anytime to talk.

[Lauraxo85]

I have had two ectopics. One in 2011 and one in 2014. Both were absolute AGONY and both resulted in emergency surgery to remove my Fallopian tubes leaving me infertile.

I am currently over 6 weeks pregnant through IVF (we have had an early scan and we have a heartbeat)

Although your loss is painful and I’m so incredibly sorry for that, there is absolutely still hope for the future for you to become pregnant again and see it through. Thinking of you 💖💖

[gldavis447]

Hi Patches86,

So sorry to read you are going through this. It is the most frightening and uncertain time. 😔

I've been going through the same for the last 6 weeks too, I had my first Methotrexate injection on Saturday 27th June. I'm not in any pain, just feel totally wiped out. 😔

I don't think there's anything I can say to make you feel better, all you can do is take one day at a time, feel what you need to feel, be gentle with yourself and know that you're not alone.

I'm here if you ever need to talk ♥️

[Ivf2020A]

Hi first of all im so sorry your going through this 😔 sending love and hugs. I had an eptopic which resulted in emergency surgery because it ruptured and I was seconds from death basically they the removed one tube, unfortunatley due to the location of the eptopic I had to have12 months recovery time. The doctors will hopefully discuss the best options for you as my situation was quite rare xx

[Patches86]

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your kind and supportive words and messages. It’s incredible how a group of strangers can be your pillar of strength during times like these. You are all amazing and so strong! X

[JenRow7]

Hi hope you are getting on ok. I went through this in 2018. It was a slog as the treatment took nearly 3 months. Then the 3 months recommended before you could try again felt like forever! I had an early miscarriage next but......the exact month after I got pregnant with my now baby boy! And all the trauma was forgotten. And I took my early pregnancy unit chocolate and a pic of my baby! And they were so happy to get a gift! So I feel for you but just look after yourself and distract yourself until you start trying again. I actually enjoyed 3 months of no preg tests. Lots of love xx

[Patches86 in reply to JenRow7]

Hi Jen! I’m sorry you also went through such an awful experience but thank you for sharing your positive ending, congrats on your baby boy! I had the methotrexate injection, but it didn’t work and landed up with a ruptured ectopic needing surgery. I’m currently waiting out the 3 months until we can try again - which honestly feels like 3 years. I hope I also get that baby blessing to take this pain away! Sending love x