Celebrating while waiting

[mojitoito]

Hi all. Just a quick thought and vent.

The other day we were Facetiming with my husband's parents, and told them that we were pursuing IVF. And at the end of the call, his mom said "Congratulations! We are excited for you." I'm not sure why this hit me so hard.... I guess because I have been so disappointed and sad that this is the process that we have to go through to begin a family, so being congratulated for it seemed odd. But her congratulating us for this decision was a reminder that WHATEVER way one chooses to start a family, whether that be through natural pregnancy, assisted conception, adoption, etc., it's worth a celebration and congratulation. So, I guess I just wanted to say "congratulations" to all of you for trying and pushing through this hard season of infertility! I really hope you all are successful.

I also need to vent about how long the wait is going to be. My husband and I are not even on any waiting list at any clinics - we're still just waiting to see a doctor for a formal consultation. It sound like NHS will be an 8-9 month wait once we get on the list, and the private clinic we've reached out to said they are telling people 4 months once they have their initial consultation.... we have a consultation scheduled at this clinic in July which means we won't have our first cycle until October at the earliest.

I don't know how I'm going to wait that long! The continued lockdown here in Scotland isn't helping... we can't keep ourselves busy with much of anything. I would take this time to travel or dive into work to keep me distracted but can't do that either. Any suggestions to make this waiting time pass by quicker??

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well today. Stay encouraged

[Ranchu90]

We preferred to not share our little “IVF secret”, so no one knows that we are struggling with infertility. We decided to not share purely because most of the people will not understand exactly what we been through and I don’t need to give any explanations to anyone of why and when.

Waiting time kills me, so for this reason we decided to go abroad for treatment. We started IVF cycle right after first consultation so we didn’t wait at all. Maybe is something that you want to consider 🤷‍♀️

Stay well, stay safe ❤️

[mojitoito in reply to Ranchu90]

I totally understand why you didn't tell anyone. It's kind of nice to keep it between you and your partner. We probably won't tell anyone besides our family. I think there are definitely people in my life who wouldn't understand or agree with our decision to do IVF.

I've been looking into going overseas too! Do you mind telling me more about your experience? I'm looking at going to Thailand. It's cheaper, and faster. Of course, there are travel restrictions at the moment... but if I can get a cycle down sooner than 5 months from now, and for cheaper, yeah, I'd do it!

[Ranchu90 in reply to mojitoito]

We are doing our treatment in Spain, I will PM you the name of the clinic. I will start Stimulation on 18th of July. Our authorisation letter to travel is ready as well, on arrival they will perform a Covid test free to make sure that everything is fine. We decided to go by car as flights are still on standby. We waited enough when we did IVF cycle with NHS so I just lost the patience. Now I am doing whatever I can to go with the treatment ❤️

[theotherblonde]

Hi mojitoito

Like you. I am also at a Scottish clinic in Glasgow GRI ACS as an NHS patient. I was in your position this time last year when I was put on the waiting list. I was on it for 7 months and then it took a few months more before I started treatment. I always just used the time of waiting as a positive thing like to get my body ready for example. I distracted myself with other projects like planning a birthday party or looking at holidays. It wasn’t easy and I think with lockdown it just makes you more consumed in the pain and unknown.

I have my transfer this cycle as my fresh transfer was cancelled on day of egg collection in March. At my clinic I think new cycles will begin around August/September or beyond as they are opening in phases. Sharon at fertility Network is great and I would recommend reaching out for some advice.

As for going private I never considered that as I am a student. If money was no issue I would have probably went private or if if I was older i would have found the money somehow. I wish you lots of luck and success. Time flies by quickly on the waiting list also! ❤️

[mojitoito in reply to theotherblonde]

I'm so sorry that after waiting so long, your egg collection was cancelled! I really hope your transfer is successful! In the meantime, we are getting as healthy as we can! I'm on a mission to get my hubby to eat and like fish haha

[Twiglet2]

Yes congratulations on taking this step 🤗 We have told very few people as I didn’t want to feel any more pressure than I already do as a BFN after a cycle makes me feel I have let my OH down and I couldn’t also take the guilt of letting potential grandparents down too 🙈 but this was a lovely way for your mother in law to react ☺️ And makes me wish I did have the support of my family x

I’m Glasgow NHS patient and I do have to say the waiting is worse than the actual treatment for me!! And just to warn you even when you reach the top of the list there is more waiting to start during tests, waiting for periods to arrive, waiting between cycles and 2ww after transfers (the longest 2 weeks of your life 😂) Like you holidays were my go too for the longer waits and that’s gone now so I am doing my garden up and decorating etc. To keep me occupied as I wait to restart my treatment that was cancelled mid cycle in March due to corona. One other tip I have is to aim for the little milestones ie next appointment, next persons bday, next lockdown phase etc. rather than the embryo transfer/treatment starting, I used to plan towards when would I get my next go and it made it more agonising and now I just take one step at a time. I did also used to think of the longer waits as an opportunity to get my body physically and mentally prepared but I have to admit with lockdown that’s went out the window and the take away has arrived back in my life 😂😂 good luck on your journey and I hope the wait goes in quick for you 🤗 xx

[mojitoito in reply to Twiglet2]

I'm so so sorry to hear that your treatment was cancelled :((( Have you been rescheduled?

Thanks for the tips. We have started our own urban garden - we'd like to think of it as baby practice lol. We're using the time to get ourselves as ready as possible for IVF - started the supplements, healthier diet, exercise, etc. All the meal planning has kept me pretty busy!

[Twiglet2 in reply to mojitoito]

Sounds like you are doing all the right things 🤗 this group is great to help keep your sanity too!

Not quite yet but been given the green light to call up and start treatment on next period (if they can fit me in with my dates) so just waiting for that now.... waiting again 😂🤣😂

[mojitoito in reply to Twiglet2]

Almost there!! Hope it all goes smoothly and leads tp a successful full term pregnancy ❤️❤️