Still waiting

Hi it's been a long time since a post I had to wait one year to be trying for a baby to start any procedures to be referred to the infertility clinic I can say now that it's been now 18 months and I am still waiting..i have done my tests and it seems that everything is fine but my partner had do test is sperm 3 times because every time something happened with the sample,and now they finally told us that is count are low and they are a little bit the gp gave us a letter so that he had to go to an urology specialist ..with the appointment booked for almost two months we receive a letter saying that it was cancelled because once againg the gp forgot to send the referral to them and had to go back there i was speechless when he didn't remember what tests he had already made us do...With all os this I'm getting really frustrated and don't know what to do...

11 Replies

  • Oh pinto8 you poor thing you've really been given the run around. I know that feeling with us our ex clinic lost our referral and gp sent another one off and even then clinic tried to deny referral being received till I got sten with em and asked em to be 100% sure it def wasn't there before I phoned gp again jack surprise surprise they found it! Honestly going through this you don't need the added stress of making sure others are doing their jobs properly! Are you absolutely sure it's the gp not sending the referral and not the hospital "losing referral" ? Drs are normally pretty good at sending referrals off it does sound strange to me I mean they must know about your partners results to give you an appointment. If I was you I would see the gp I know it's boring and frustrating explain there appears to be a problem explain what's happened tell the gp how stressed it is making you both (I did with my gp and she was great about it) don't go in there blaming gp just say you're concerned and just want it resolved. Maybe ask gp if you can have chose n book service where you get a few choses of clinics and can chose a time and date to suit you. And then you know it's booked and secure. And they get the referral automatically. Most gps ofter this service. Recently I had to be refereed to see a general gynae (found a fibroid and a cyst) and I just received chose n book form went online (had a choice of 3 clinics) and booked it up easy peasy! Awaiting now for a date for my operation to remove my fibroid. Always something to wait for Hun! Stay strong Hun you can do it I know how despairing at times but promise you the baby will be worth all the fighting,hang in there Hun. Good luck with sorting this out. Let me know how you get on. Here if you need to talk.Am rooting for you Hun! X

  • Thanks jess1981.. yes it's been really frustrating but the problem it's every time we try to book an appointment to see the gp on the day before they call and say that is off then once again we have to reschedule or they send us to another doctor who doesn't know what to do and once again send us to do more blood tests.this time I'm sure it was the go fault because we had the urology appointment already booked but they had to cancel it because the gp never send them the referal and when my husband went there to speak to him we said that he didn't have time that day so we have to book for another day to see what is missing. ..I'm getting so stressed out because I'm feeling that where we are supposed to get help is where is most difficult, sometimes I feel that they don't care for them we are just a number. .I'm really sorry to hear that you found that now that you have a fibroid but I hope that you get it done soon and that everything goes smoothly for you. ..Once again thank you for your support

  • Again I really get wot you're saying! You would not beleive the fight I had to get a referral from my gp to see a gynae about my fibroid. Who told me my fibroid is very small and wouldn't possibly affect my fertilty at all and really I'd be better off having my ivf and not bothering with gynae appointment who would say exactly what she told me thankfully my clinic refused to take me back till it had been sorted out! That forced her arm a bit! Anyway obviously she was wrong and consultant said fibroid has been there the whole time we've been trying (4 years in august ) and it is the reason for our infertility. (Was unexplained till then oh lol) I was so scared the consultant would be as dismissive as my gp. Anyway she looks pretty silly now haha cue evil laugh!

    Don't let the buggers get you down! It's really sad we have to fight with the medical professionals as well as cope with infertility which is hard enough Hun. Sometimes I think it's a case of he who shouts louder gets! Is there a doctor there that you feel you can trust and feel confident would send a referral? It's not fair wot they are doing it's causing you stress you don't need. You don't need appointment to see a dr the facts are there on screen maybe get a telephone consultantion with a dr usually telephone appointments are so much easier to get! Maybe ask if it would be easier for gp if you were to do chose n book? Just a thought. There must one good doctor there! Just say you think there appears to communication prob between dr surgery and hospital. By being calm and not blaming anyone you stand a better chance of getting a better result. Even tho it is their fault! When you feel stronger try again. Would advise you to ask the name of the hospital, and a week after referral being sent check hospital have received it. It's the only way to protect yourself I have always checked referrals since our ex clinic "lost" ours .

    Anyway I hope you have better luck with your gp and you can finally move onto the next stage and make some progress. Keep me posted And I'm here if you need a chat once you get to the specialist it will get better I promise you. X

  • I can't imagine how you must feel when it's been 4 years and you are still trying,you are a stong women and seeing you being that optimist just make me realise that i also have to be strong because one day it's going to be our lucky day..i really hope that now that they have found out your real problem it's going to be much easier for you.. Tomorrow I will let you know how it went and the next steps.

  • Thanks hunni I do believe that one day I will have a baby and all the tests and appointments are like jigsaw puzzle bits each of them as important as the other eventually you end up with a completed jigsaw puzzle. It maybe naive of me to think like that but until I'm told it can't happen for us I will continue to have hope. Hope is the only thing that keeps any of us going the day all hope is gone is the day I stop trying! Don't get me wrong I still have my wobbles and bad days it is a very difficult and unfair situation to be in. We have stopped trying till I have this fibroid dealt with. The consultant told me it's been there the whole time we've been trying but too small to have been seen, but it's like she has taken a big weight off my shoulders and I know the issue and fix that and hopefully I'll have just as good as chance as anyone else trying! it's a big relief to after all this time to finally know the reason for our delay! I don't believe when you've been trying for x amount of years it can possibly be unexplained. The stressful part of it was not knowing the reason!

    You're doing really well don't be hard on yourself just getting up and keeping going shows a real strength in you. You are fighting and you will win. One of the nice drs at my surgery who suffered infertility herself (who has 2 beautiful sons) said prepare yourself for a battle ,but one you can, and will win. I think that sums it up well. Every appointment/test all of it is a step closer towards you having your baby and it will be your day one day keep believing it.It's wrong that some of us have to fight so hard to have our Children but we will appreciate them so much more and we will be stronger after going through this. We will be kick arse mums!

    I appreciate it must have been very hard for you both to get "bad" news about partners sperm. But it is best that they have detected the problem now coz it can be dealt with giving you both a really good chance of having your baby. I don't know if this will help but recently I put my hubby on wellmans conception vitamins they can help with sperm and are recommended by fertility experts. I think they're like a tenner at boots for a months supply. I put my hubby on em so when we eventually can try again his swimmers are as good as poss! The things we do!! I have seen women on here saying partners sperm have improved a lot due to a few lifestyle changes and taking wellmans. Obviously it will depend on how bad sperm is but it can't hurt to try. They say for men to stop drinking/smoking limit caffeine, eat well balanced diet with lots of vege and fruit, wear loose underwear, if he has a bath make sure it's not any higher than 37 degrees. Obviously exercise is good and plenty of water.

    Look forward to your update take care X

  • I can relate to your experience. My partner and I have been jumping all the hurdles, like the timelines you describe, only to be let down by our GP or not told the full information.

    Last week we got some really bad news about our chances to conceive naturally. It was suggested that he should go to see the urologist but the consultant said the gp had to do the referral. We went to the gp who said that he had never ever referred to a urologist and couldn't without more information. We are going round and round in circles. No one has asked if we are ok.

    In terms of advice I would say get a copy of every test result. Ask for names and contact details and keep chasing them for appointments. The referral systems seem completely different. Sometimes gp's do via online systems, sometimes faxed, sometimes by post.

    I've spoken to reception staff who don't have a clue what's going on and will advise you that something will turn up in the post. We've just taken charge and on occasions I've found out the referral process, told the reception staff that the the department in question hadn't got it. Then I've given them the fax number do they do it in front of me.

    Good luck

  • Thank you erland and you are right sometimes I feel that it's like none of them seem to know what is their job and because of that we keep going back and forward. Now we have to book another appointment with the gp so that he can see what went wrong with the letter that he gave to us but the I keep tinking how long do we have to wait again for the urology consultation?

  • Can you maybe see a different GP at the same surgery?

  • That's the case,so far we had already been seen for 3 different doctors and none of them seem to know what is the next step to take..We are really thinking in going to check some private clinic

  • I really do continue to be astonished by the poor health care that fertility patients are experiencing. My GP wasn't actually the week link it was the consultant and the funding process, but I completely relate - the more medical 'professionals' I encouter the more I feel like a statistic. Can I just say Jess1981 the support that you offer on this forum is amazing, your a very kind lady x

  • Tomorrow my husband is going to an appointment with the gp so he can give another referral letter and we are going to ask for a letter to try to a private clinic..and you are right jess1981 it's amazing and knows the words to make us feel that our time it's soon

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